Thursday, October 25, 2012

how's the fruit?


we were running late.  the baby was screaming though his diaper was clean and he was freshly nursed, shoelaces were needing to be tied, one child was still in the shower, dinner plates were strewn all over the kitchen with some still on the table, and my hair still up in the disheveled knot on the top of my head that had kept it out of my face during the early morning garage sale we held and the 2 soccer games we played in (well, i cheered at) immediately after.  one child yelled from the other room how he couldn’t find the matching shoe, another was digging in the basket of clean clothes that had sat in the living room corner all week trying to find socks, while one more ignored every effort to insist he get ready quickly.  and the phone kept incessantly ringing.

it was then, in the midst of the mounting pressure and decibel level in my house, that i completely lost it.  yes, i opened my mouth...

i am sharing today at 5 minutes for faith about my struggle with my words.  i would love for you to stop by!

charis

Friday, October 19, 2012

to really look



word for the day:  look

start.

there is something about the look of love.  the way that he looks at him.  the way the other looks at me behind the camera.

in the midst of the busy-ness of life, i find there are times when life slows suddenly to a present moment and i am able to really look at those around me and see.

see who they are - look into their eyes, beyond their actions and words.  i study the uniqueness of their features... the structure of the cheekbones or specific hue of the eyes.  my heart melts a bit from prior hardness and walls protecting to just get through the tasks of the day and i feel the realness of relationship.

i wonder, is this how He looks at me?  while holding the whole universe together in Himself, does He pause when He catches my eye and really look into me and feel the warmth rise up in His heart that i feel when i look at one of my little ones?  does He see past my changing actions and fleeting words and see into who i am? 

you have ravished my heart with one glance of your eye... songs of song 4:9

He really sees.

stop.


i like these writing exercises.  sometimes it is good to just write and not over-think it.  i know not all of my readers write their own blogs, but if you do consider joining in.



5 minute friday rules:
1. write for 5 minutes flat – no editing, no over thinking, no backtracking.
2. link back here and invite others to join in.
3. please visit the person who linked up before you & encourage them.

you are welcome to leave a link to your 5 minute friday post if you wrote one - i would love to read it.  


charis

Monday, October 15, 2012

i remind myself of all that You've done

it is a busy fall morning around these parts - not much time to even type out these short words as the littlest one reaches for the computer keys.

when it is hardest - those are the times that i most need to give thanks for all He has done and still is doing.  this is what i purpose my heart to do today.

it reminds me of my cousin's song:
when my heart is overwhelmed and i cannot hear Your voice
i'll hold onto what is true though i cannot see
if the storms of life they come and the road ahead gets steep
i will lift these hands in faith
i will believe

i remind myself of all that You’ve done
and the life I have because Your Son
Love came down and rescued me
Love came down and set me free
i am Yours, i am forever Yours
mountain high or valley low
i sing out remind my soul
that i am Yours, i am forever Yours

when my heart is filled with hope
and every promise comes my way
when i feel Your hands of grace rest upon me

staying desperate for You God
staying humbled at Your feet
i will lift these hands and praise
i will believe

i remind myself of all that You’ve done
and the life i have because Your Son

Love came down and rescued me
Love came down and set me free
i am Yours, i am forever Yours
mountain high or valley low
i sing out remind my soul
that i am Yours, i am forever Yours

i am Yours
i am Yours
all my days
Jesus, i am Yours 
brian johnson

how about you give it a quick listen?  i am sure it will encourage you just like it encourages me.



also, go to the prayer room archives and listen to the misty edwards devotional from sunday, october 14th at 6pm - from about 30 minutes to 45 minutes into the set is the most amazing spontaneous song that spoke straight to my heart this morning.  if it speaks to you as well, come back and let me know! 

still counting gifts to 1000...

810 - 824:

810. 10 lbs of pomegranate for $3... and processed!

811. the washer and dryer my papa and nana bought for us when we first bought this home 9 years ago - i doubt there has ever been a gift so used!

812. re-purposing the yarn from a favorite cranberry colored sweater that had begun to unravel... oh what to make?!

813. being able to call my mom to pray with me on the phone when it has just been one of "those" days.

814. ran 1.5 miles straight with no pain!

815. beautiful skies every morning!

816. leaves changing colors - it surprises me every year how much this simple thing delights me.

817. "skipping" out on something saturday afternoon to have some much needed space alone (well, with just the baby) - made cookies for an event that night, read my bible, listened to the prayer room, painted my nails, drank some tea, and chatted with my sister.

818. an amazing stretching exercise video my sister-in-law loaned me.

819. hearing giggles (and yes, sometimes screams intermingled) from the other room.

820. His grace is sufficient for me.

821. His mercies are new EVERY morning - and how i need new mercy!

822. spending time with my daddy.

823. that my sister really is my best friend.

824. He is my Rock.

i am linked up at a holy experience.



if you haven't liked this facebook page, you can in the upper right of this post.  you can also follow this blog or subscribe in a reader.  i would love to keep in better touch with you! 

please leave a link to your list of gifts in the comments and i will come visit your blog as well!  i love to give thanks together.


charis

Friday, October 12, 2012

to finish the race strong


seeing as though my 3rd son had his jog-a-thon today, today's 5 minute writing prompt was perfect! 

word for the day:  race

start.

someone once said to run the race as though to win the prize.

being a runner, this resounds with me deeply. 


as excited as i may be about the idea of running, many times i don't feel like running when i start out.  it takes a good half mile or so to get into a rhythm of feet hitting hard the ground below.  i have a goal in mind, and whether i feel like it or not, i am determined to achieve that goal.

i am determined to finish the race strong.


there is a crown waiting for me.  much like the gold medal hanging around his neck.  if i can keep in view the well done at the end, the crown of glory that never fades away, the warm welcome into His kingdom where there will never again be sorrow or this sometimes debilitating pain of this age... keep my eye on the prize set before me.

He endure for the prize set before Him - He walked the lonely road to calvary where He gave it all. 

i endure for the prize set before me - i can see Him waiting at the finish line, cheering me on, and holding the prize that He has set aside


just. for. me.

and so i push through.  i press on.  i take those next few steps, the leaps, the bounds into the sometimes unknown so that i can finish this race knowing that i gave it my all and ran with everything within me. 

those who have gone before me stand on the sidelines cheering me on.

stop.



if you want to join in, the instructions are below.



5 minute friday rules:
1. write for 5 minutes flat – no editing, no over thinking, no backtracking.
2. link back here and invite others to join in.
3. please visit the person who linked up before you & encourage them.

if you write a 5 minute friday, let me know -  i would love to visit your blog and read what comes spilling out when writing against the clock!  


charis

Monday, October 8, 2012

I AM the Lord your Provider


but seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. matthew 6:33


still counting gifts to 1000...

799 - 809:

799. gas in the van, and that God isn't intimidated by the rising gas prices like i am.

800. enough grace for today - do not worry about tomorrow...

801. the smell of coffee beans.

802. sun rays bursting through the fluffy clouds this morning.

803. crisp air.

804. pretty nail polish.

805. listening to misty edwards in the prayer room (via my computer) this morning.

806. looking back at old baby pictures and remembering how cute they all were and how chubby!

807. roasted fennel for the 1st time.

808. winter squash in the pantry.

809. the mundane activities that fill my day, and often wear me out, do not go unnoticed nor unvalued by God.

i am linked up at a holy experience.



if you haven't liked this facebook page, you can in the upper right of this post.  you can also follow this blog or subscribe in a reader.  i would love to keep in better touch with you! 

please leave a link to your list of gifts in the comments and i will come visit your blog as well!  i love to give thanks together.


charis

Friday, October 5, 2012

you're welcome


word for the day:  welcome

start.

"thank you."

"you're welcome."

i say it so automatically, almost like i am listening to a recording of my own voice.  how often do i stop to think about what it means?

you. are. welcome.

you are invited into my life.  you are free to come close.  i am open to your being near.

we so often place welcome mats on the doorways to our homes, but when things are messy, life is messy, we shut our hearts and shut our doors.

we may leave the appearance of the invitation to community - communion with others - but withdraw in shame and fear into seclusion.

slow it down.  allow yourself to hear, and really believe, the words that you are saying.

"thank you."

you. are. welcome.

you might make me mighty uncomfortable and i don't really want you to see all my mess and really know all of who i am because it may be more than you can handle at times, but

you. are. welcome.

stop.

if you want to join in, the instructions are below.



5 minute friday rules:
1. write for 5 minutes flat – no editing, no over thinking, no backtracking.
2. link back here and invite others to join in.
3. please visit the person who linked up before you & encourage them.

if you write a 5 minute friday, let me know.  i would love to visit your blog and read your heart.


charis

Wednesday, October 3, 2012

is He enough?



so much has gone not the way i would have liked in the past 24 hours.

in the midst of my distraction by more important things, i have managed to set one kitchen towel on fire - not noticing it until there were real flames. i burnt a pot of chickpeas.  my favorite stone pan broke in two. (and we haven't left talking about the kitchen yet!)  my house, the one thing that is seemingly in my control, is completely a disaster and out of control.

isn't that they way it is for us as broken humans - when so much is out of our control, we grasp to hold tightly to the few things we thing we think we control. 

isn't that all a control spirit really is... a person who is afraid?  when feeling small and staring into the big unknown, so often we become "control freaks" over the things that don't even really matter.

i get so upset by the dirt on the floor, but really is the dirt all that important since we are but made of dust?

i have to finally ask myself the question: is it going to be about the wasted food, small kitchen fire, and crumbs on the floor or at the end of the day is He enough?

am i going to insist on the appearance of having it together and having all the answers or am i going to fall back in trust into His arms and believe He is there to catch me?

is He alone really enough?


i have a testimony about Jesus,
He carries me through my worst storms -
i only call on Jesus,
i'm leaning on His everlasting arms.
                                     jon thurlow




charis

Monday, October 1, 2012

i am a runner


i am a runner. 

well, i think of myself as a runner.  i used to be a runner.  i haven't really been a runner for 7 years, but i still identify myself as a runner. 

there are many things in life that got in the way of my running - having babies, messed up knees that needed physical therapy, having babies, no sleep, hurting knees, having babies... 

you get the idea. 

yet i still think of myself as a runner because of the passion i have had for running in the past.

when i went to physical therapy last time (see how i have to make a distinction that this wasn't the only time), they told me to find another sport.  

how about swimming they suggested?  i love swimming in the lake, but doing laps?  i last maybe two lengths of the pool and then i am ready to move onto something else.   

how about the elliptical machine?  being stuck in a gym with no change of scenery did not entice me much either.  i am an outdoors kind of girl, looking for the wide open spaces and thriving off the feeling on my feet pounding on the hard uneven surfaces of the earth.  you know, they told me, it is the mommy/runners that keep us in business.

so, since my body needed to recondition to my beloved past-time in order to not be injured in the process, they gave me a gradual plan to start running again.  to give you a context of what i thought was "gradual", i had just restarted running after having my second son uriah right before i had to get all sorts of evaluations on my knees. my brother-in-law was running at the time, so i told him we would start with an easy two miles.  compared to my 3-4 times a week 6 miles a day in the past, this seemed like cake to me.  it was no angelfood cake to my knees.  i was in pain and limping and bewildered why this short distance could take such a toll on my body.

well come to find out, my physical therapists recommended i start out running 3 minutes a day, 3 times a week, increasing each week by no more than 10% in distance or time each week.  

you read that right.  3 lousy minutes. 

runners know that isn't even long enough to get muscles warmed up and in a rhythm.  they told me:  if you are insistent on staying a runner and not finding another sport, you have to be patient with your muscles to restrengthen and retrain to prevent further injury and the dreaded runner's knee surgery.

i see so much parallel in this whole situation with my prayer life with the Lord.  

many times i evaluate the present health of my life in God with what i have done in the past - i still think of myself as that person in the Lord that i once was.  we have all had mountain top experiences:  the 40 day fast in college that was the clearest time in life of hearing God;  the times of laying down all those other things to seek Him more and find His face; the times when the hunger for the Word of God was so great we read through every book of the Bible still wanting more

but, it can be a little shocking to get down to the details of what am i doing NOW?  how long has it been since i was that person and who is the person am i today?  am i willing to give up the passion and pursuit i once had that so many will just attribute to youthful zeal?  do i have the discipline and patience required to retrain my muscle in God and rebuild the intimacy of past days?

you see, i cannot survive off the manna from ten years ago. 

God told the israelites that He would give them enough manna - fresh "what is it" bread from Heaven  - for today.  if they stored up some in a bottle for tomorrow because they did really great collecting extra, the maggots would come and it would be destroyed. 

there was always more than enough, but the fresh encounter was always what was required.

being a full-time mommy, part-time manager of the world, keeps me rather busy.  but i have found that being a radical lover of God will take the same focus and determination it is taking to become a runner again.  regardless of our present situation, none of us get a free pass to eat old manna. 

even if i had an empty 4 hour un-distracted time slot to seek Him today, i may not have the motivation or the lack of boredom to seek Him that long and not feel sore, discouraged, and very aware of the hardness of my heart afterwards. 

but i do have the ability to build up my endurance and desire (muscles) day by day, starting even with what seems as worthless as minutes a day.

- i also always have the option of believing the few minutes will never get me anywhere, and  stay spiritually out of shape, living in the fantasy that i am in the spiritual state i was 10 years ago because i have a distant memory of the mountain top experience. -

this morning i ran for 12 minutes with no sore knees.  quite the accomplishment if you factor in the discouragement and temptations to quit on all of those 3 minute, 4 minute, and even 5 minute days that made me acutely aware that i am not where i once was.

i won't quit pursuing the knowledge of the One who set my heart ablaze. i am a runner.  i am a passionate lover of the One who saved my soul.  the awareness of my current brokeness and weakness only causes me to love Him more.

i must have the fresh manna for today.

taste and see that He is good.

*edited from the archives


still counting gifts to 1000...

787 - 798:

787. songs the Lord drops in my head in the morning to encourage me.

788. a clean minivan.

789. little projects on the house... step by step.

790. warm oat groats ready in the crockpot when we wake up.

791. more grace from the Lord when it all starts to feel like too much.

792. the minute a day i get to carve out to strengthen my spiritual muscles.

793. a 12 minute run that left my knees still feeling good!

794. the little hints that fall is coming - leaves just starting to change even with this triple digit weather.

795. slowly selling things... simplifying.

796. so many reasons to celebrate.

797. feast of tabernacles on saturday night - reminding me we are a sojourning people and to continually give Him thanks.

798. the joy of the Lord is my strength.


i am linked up at a holy experience.



if you haven't liked this facebook page, you can in the upper right of this post.  you can also follow this blog or subscribe in a reader.  i would love to keep in better touch with you! 

please leave a link to your list of gifts in the comments and i will come visit your blog as well!  i love to give thanks together.


charis
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