today, if you would hear His voice,
do not harden your hearts...
how many times i cry out to hear the Lord's voice. right now is a time for me that i am looking for direction; i am looking for answers. i ask the Lord to speak to me in a dream. i ask that He would speak to me through other people. i ask that He would speak to me in His still small voice. i don't care how He chooses to speak - i just want to hear His voice and know it is Him.
reading my bible this morning i opened to the next psalm as i read through the book of psalms. psalms 95 starts with a exhortation to sing to the Lord, to worship the Lord, and to give thanks to the Lord. then it ends with a warning to not their harden hearts like they (the israelites) did in the wilderness.
i get it. i get how so often we harden our hearts in small inconspicuous ways because of hurts, disappointed expectations, or simply not understanding the Lord's ways. i know i have hardened my heart in little ways that i thought probably didn't really matter because i am still serving Him, right? but to protect myself and not completely lose it, i felt i had to harden areas just to survive.
i know that i have questioned God a lot about what it is that He is wanting for my family and me. i have all these dreams and hopes and as good as they are... what if the Lord's answer to me is -wait- ? what do i do with His voice if He corrects me in the little areas of my life that i have allowed self preservation to creep in? what do i do when i disappoint others expectations of me and carry that burden when it isn't mine to carry?
i want to be mindful as i ask Him to lead me and speak to me that i check my heart that it is soft and repent of any hardened places. i want His pleasure on my life more than i want everything to go easily my way. i am convinced that the way to soften my heart is to do the things that the beginning of the psalm mentioned - praise, singing to the Lord, worship, bowing at His feet, giving thanks for what. He. has. done.
all the disappointment and entitlement and hurts and confusion melt away when i fill my mind and heart with how faithful He has been to me.
let's not be so concerned with protecting ourselves, but let's concern ourselves with worshiping our King and let Him be the One to protect us. i am speaking to my heart this morning - keep your heart soft, charis, keep your heart soft.