i sat down with my husband today over a wonderful lunch date at one of the best restaurants in town. i asked him, "what are you focusing on right now and what is God speaking to you right now?" he answered, "unfortunately, they are probably two different things." as he said this, i realized the same is true for myself.
a couple months ago, when i began this blog, i had a huge transition in my life; a complete shift in focus and direction, that i was completely unable to manipulate, took place and i knew God was putting a dead end in front of the path i was currently taking and telling me to take a sharp left-hand turn. as i sat down before the Lord at the piano, a place i seem to be able to hear Him more clearly sometimes, i felt Him speak very clearly to my heart that i was entering into a season where He was asking me to write. you know those moments when the word of the Lord for your life seems so perfectly clear and you are so in the moment that if He said, "jump" you would say, "how high?!" you probably also are familiar with the feeling later when you try to describe what God was speaking in that moment with someone else and it sounds like complete foolishness.
when i was faced with losing my source of income, having God tell me to pursue one of my greatest buried passions, writing, made so much sense and filled me with hope and vision. the next day someone asked me the simple question, "so what are you going to do now?" when i responded that i was going to write, which has no promise of income, i felt so foolish. out of the God moment it didn't sound like such a brilliant idea.
so, as i sat today at lunch talking about what God has said and what i have actually been doing, i realized that though i have been writing i need to make more of a point to write even when i don't feel inspired. i want to start making a better disciple of writing merely as an act of obedience to the direction i have for now. i want to show up to the page even before i am inspired and expect the Holy Spirit to speak through me. i tend to get moody as an artistic person, but the best songs and books are written many times by simply writing and rewriting, not just having it just download in the moment.
i have in my heart to write many books, songs, and to have the Lord speak through me like the pen of a ready writer. thank you so much to those who faithfully read these and even comment at times... be ready to check back more often as i attempt to simply obey and write!