Friday, December 28, 2012

the moments that add up to life

in reflecting on a year of some major highs and some major lows, i am learning to be thankful for all of it. thankfulness for every moment. even those moments when i feel like it may be easier to crawl into a hole and just disappear. even the ones that aren't the photo-worthy warm and fuzzy moments. even the times that are so painful that it takes all my focus to cry out to God and keep my hope. thankful for every single moment.

because... if i wish away the painful moments of life, i am wishing away my life. all of my life is a gift from God and to give Him thanks and praise in the middle of the hurt is to really live.

so, as much as i would like to only acknowledge the beautiful, fun, happy moments, i am choosing to open my eyes to see the beauty in it all - the beauty of this woven tapestry called life.

thank you God for the life in 2012 and thank you for the life that lies ahead in 2013. 



may the Lord bless you all in all the moments that make up your life. it is all a gift.

charis

Monday, December 17, 2012

when christmas seems dark this year

christmas can be a very painful and lonely time for many people.  christmas can remind us of loss or loneliness.  i know in conneticut there are a bunch of people who, if they never experienced this dynamic before, are experiencing this very thing this year.

in the darkest nights we often are tempted to shake our fist in the air and ask the questions seeping with accusation, "where was God when...?  if there really is a loving God who is all powerful then...?  why does God allow bad things to happen to good people?"

we have all been there or will be there, whether we have the guts to verbalize our latent accusations again our very Creator.

this christmas, i believe God wants to reveal to us, His beloved creation, that He really is Immanuel - God with us.

take the next 10 minutes, or keep this page open until you have 10 minutes, and watch john piper read the poem he wrote about the innkeeper who housed mary and joseph the night Jesus was born.

does God care about senseless tragedy?  john piper would venture to say yes, yes He does.

i would tell you, my friend, the very same thing.  watch, take out a tissue or two (don't say i didn't warn you), and be encouraged.

wishing you a merry christmas in your dark hours where the Immanuel draws near and shows you His compassion for your pain.

charis


John Piper Reads "The Innkeeper" (English subtitles) from Desiring God on Vimeo.

Wednesday, December 12, 2012

keeping faith in the Reason for the season


christmas can so easily become one big swirl of commercialism and hype.  i know that we all fall into the trap of the lists of gifts, parties, deadlines, baking, etc becoming THE focus.  in fact, while i am typing right now, i am also feverishly trying to work on a knit scarf for my oldest son... read more


come over to 5 minutes for faith today where i am sharing about one of my favorite christmas traditions that helps me keep focused during my favorite time of year.


let me know you stopped by!  hope you are having a wonderful christmas season!

charis

Thursday, December 6, 2012

let us not forget


it is this time of year that my heart is drawn once again to meditate on the advent.

did you know that advent simply means "coming?" it is a time of expectant waiting and preparation. 

oh how i feel it!  my heart is being drawn to think on His coming - God made flesh who dwelt among us - and to prepare and wait in eager anticipation His coming again. 

this time of year i am back in the gospels. i want to fill my thoughts with the very realness of Jesus walking on this dust, being made of the dust just like us. i want my heart to really believe that He came. 

He came. 

Immanuel - God with us - He came. 

do you know what that means that God dressed Himself in this broken humanity that we live in every. single. day. to show us what He is like? does this bring tears to your eyes like it does to mine?  the Almighty God who is the very Creator of everything that exists - the very One who will judge all that has breath, and has every right to do so - humbled Himself to the very lowest place and dwelt among us (phil 2)

He came. He really did what seems so impossible to my logical thinking mind. 

oh how that makes my heart ache. 

you see, i live in such very real brokenness. just like you. so often my heart wants to rise up in accusation against my very God that He is somehow indifferent to my pain. my heartache. my disappointments. 

so often i resist shaking my fist in the air asking, "do you even see me here? do you even care?"

and the Word became flesh, and dwelt among us, and we saw His glory, the glory as of the only begotten from the Father, full of grace and truth.  john 1:14

and He does see. He cares. He came. Immanuel. He drew near.

yay Lord! we greet Thee,
born this happy morning,
o Jesus! to Thee be all glory given.
Word of the Father, now in flesh appearing;
o come, let us adore Him,
o come, let us adore Him,
o come, let us adore Him,
Christ the Lord.

and He knows. He really knows our sorrow and our brokenness and our grief. and He holds all our tears in a bottle (ps 56:8). He must have a big bottle for mine.

He catches each.
                       one.
                          as.
                             it.
                               falls.
                                   down. like. rain. 
when our pain becomes too much to bear, He does not look away

                                       ...even when in our own weakness, we look away.

He was despised and forsaken of men, 
a man of sorrows and acquainted with grief; 
and like one from whom men hide their face He was despised, 
and we did not esteem Him. isaiah 53:3

and i cannot tell you, in the very middle of this broken life i live, how this time of advent becomes so real and alive to me. this is the thrill of hope - that He will not leave us as orphans (john 14:18)

and i long, more than ever before, for His second advent - with expectant waiting i prepare for His coming.

my Immanuel.

He will make the wrong things right. and there are so. many. wrong. things.

too many wrong things.

o come, Thou Day-Spring, come and cheer
our spirits by Thine advent here
disperse the gloomy clouds of night
and death's dark shadows put to flight.
rejoice! rejoice! Immanuel
shall come to thee, o israel.
we can dare to put our hope in Him. this time of year isn't about gifts. it isn't about traditions. it isn't even about family. it is about Him - it is about His coming that was and His coming that will be.

o come to us, 
abide with us,
our Lord Immanuel.
oh let us not forget.

charis

Thursday, November 8, 2012

what i love about my daddy


this post is a bit overdue.  i was hoping to put it up on october 18th - the birthday of a very special person, but time got away from me and now days turned into weeks later.  but late is better than not at all, right?

the above picture is of me and my daddy.  i believe it was taken the day they brought me home from the hospital.  i have such a special daddy and since i wrote a special blog post for my mom on mother's day, i wanted to share with all of you some about my daddy for his birthday this year. 

a list of what i love about my daddy

1. the very first thing has go all the way back to the day i was born.  i do not remember this day, but i heard about it many times.  the day i was born was the very first time my mama saw my daddy cry.  they had been married 7 years before i was born and been friends for a few years before that.  imagine that... what a bonding thing for a daughter to her daddy to know that becoming a daddy for the first time opened a part of him up that even the one closest to him hadn't seen before. 

2. going back to my birth story again - my daddy sold his car that he really loved to pay for the hospital bill for my birth.

3. my daddy has a super tender heart and cries often now.  it seems almost strange to me that my mom had never seen my dad cry until i was born because i grew up with seeing him cry (in a manly sort of way of course).  i have always known him to be very tender-hearted.

4. he is smart.  i know smarts aren't everything, but i always loved that my daddy was (and is) so smart and feel especially proud when people have told me that i was smart like him. 


5. my daddy is funny.  he has a super dry sense of humor that sometimes his jokes are so subtle they could easily be missed.  i have teased him by giving his jokes an eye rolling at times, but have always thought inside that i wish i had inherited the quick wit (both my siblings seemed have got that trait easily). 

6. he has a real relationship with God.  you know how you see so many people in the church blown to and fro by the popular trends in chrisitanity?  not my daddy.  even when it is unpopular, he stands by his convictions and commitment to follow Jesus and trust Him no matter what the cost.  he isn't willing to compromise what that walk with the Lord looks like just to fit in - He goes to the Lord and to the Word to find out for himself instead of merely relying on someone else' interpretation of what God is saying.  this has given me the courage to know God for myself, even when that looks like an unpopular road.

7. he is faithful.  i have seen my dad follow through on his word even when it hurts in so many ways - he would never tell you about these things. (psalm 15:4)  faithfulness isn't a common thing these days.



8. he loves my mama.  to those readers of mine who are men, i cannot begin to tell you what this does to the heart of a child to see the daddy really love the mama.  no, my dad isn't perfect.  yes, i have seen my parents fight.  but 40 years of marriage to the woman who gave birth to me!  seriously amazing.  i have seen this amazing example of real love in my parents' relationship and watched my daddy defend and seek to protect my mama (even from our disrespect as children) and then watched him still bring her flowers and her favorite chocolate, write her sweet notes,  and actually enjoy spending time with her... i have seen their relationship grow through the harder times and their commitment to loving unselfishly increase.  his love towards my mama affects me so greatly.


9. my dad believes in me.  from the earliest i could ever remember, he told me i could be whatever i wanted to be - the 1st female president was often his example.  through all my passing career ambitions, he always has believed in me - from a medical missionary to the 1st female professional football player, from a supreme court justice to a stage actress.  especially as a girl, his first born, he was sure to let me know that gender would never hold me back from God's calling on my life. 

10. my dad is a servant.  it is the little things that you always notice, right?  okay, here is one - my dad would load up the back of his car with cans, bottles, newspapers and other recyclables from a "pollution solution" club my siblings, neighbor kids, and i created as a business.  these were all the recyclables from the whole neighborhood... and he never complained about it.  another example - he would run to the store to get female sanitary products for the girls in our house if we were out.  one time i even called him on the phone in the middle of the night in college to bemoan some female problems i was having and he listened compassionately and like he understood.  i didn't think twice about talking to my dad because i knew he actually cared.

11. he has an unwavering trust in God.  he has gone through more than his fair share of storms in life and yet he trusts the Lord.  it challenges me because i struggle.  he has had plenty of opportunities to walk away and be bitter (don't we all?), but i have just watched him lean more into the Lord and really trust Him with his life, his family, his everything.  i want to be faithful like that over the long haul.

12. i have watched him respond to mistreatment and misunderstanding with humility.  i have watched him keep his mouth shut when i know if it was me i would probably say things i regretted later.


13. he loves sports.  i have so many memories attached to his love of sports - from going to the baseball card shops with him and digging through the penny boxes for him to buy 100 cards for me, to playing catch with my softball and glove in our living room, to playing fantasy football and basketball with him and my husbands' family, to him coming to watch my boys' sporting events because he loves them and loves the game... to now watching him bond with my little boys over sports.  my two oldest can talk to him about all sorts of stats that i know nothing about.  it is really quite fun to watch.  one of my earliest memories is laying on my back on the floor next to my dad and him bouncing a racketball against the ceiling as we talked.  (i had to be around 2 or 3 at the time?)

14. he is a great person to go to for advice.  he actually is both a communications professor and marriage, family and child counselor by profession, and he is a great listener and then really wise as well.  i have come with hard questions.  he doesn't try to fix problems, but offers wisdom.

15. i have this very distinct memory from right when my husband and i launched out into living on full-time missionary support:  my dad walked me out to the car carrying one of my children, like he has done so many times, and handed me a $100 bill.  he told me that this was just a seed of the many, many times God was going to provide for us.  really, i cannot tell you how many times i have thought back to that moment when everything felt so uncertain and it felt like we were taking a giant leap into the great unknown trying to be obedient to what the Lord had set before us.  not only did it show my dad believed we were doing the right thing, but he was prophesying of God's continual provision for us through $100 here and $100 there which i can testify to be true here almost 4 years later.

16. he and my husband get along so well.  i think my husband reminds me so much of my daddy and i love that!  when we were dating i knew that it was a good sign that he was the one when he had such deep meaningful conversations with my dad. 

17.  i look like a lot like my daddy.  now, everyone has always said that my mouth and chin look just like my dad - but i have never seen that for myself because my entire life he has had a beard and mustache.  but, just knowing it to be true, is so fun.  our baby pictures look extremely alike.


18. he is an amazing grandpa.  among the best, if not the very besti love to watch him look at his grandkids.  he rocks them on his lap and sings them a special song that he made up that he sang to me when i was little.  he carries them to the car while they are little, sometimes making many trips since each one wants to be carried.  he shares what he loves with them.  he thoroughly enjoys being a grandpa and loves my kids so fiercely and each one knows they are loved.  they each feel connected to him individually.  how do you do that well when you have a dozen grandkids?  i don't know, but he does it. 








19. i know he loves me.  i know it.  even when we had tougher times through part of my teen years, i still knew that he loved me no matter what.  i know that it doesn't matter what i do or how much i might screw up, he will always love me and never reject me.  i know i don't have to pretend around him, but i can really be me - the good and the bad - and i am accepted without conditions.

20. i love to spend time with him one on one.  we have had these daddy/daughter dates since i was very little and they are my favorite times. 


21. he is so thoughtful.  during a stretch of my college years i was very lonely.  i lived a 9 hour drive from home and often missed home desperately.  other students would drive home for a weekend, and i was stuck on a quiet empty campus missing my family.  my dad wrote me letters and sent me cards.  many times i would go to the student mailboxes and find an unexpected card from my daddy telling me how much he loved me and believed in me and was praying for me - those cards are still in my drawer right next to my bed. 

 my sister and i loving on my daddy

this of course is not an all inclusive list, but just some of the many things that stand out to me when i think of my daddy.  he is a follower of Jesus, a good teacher, a faithful husband, a self-sacrificing and loving daddy and pa.  i celebrate him, even if it is a couple weeks late, and thank the Lord for putting me in my daddy's life.

charis
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