i am not by nature someone who knows how to rest. by rest i do not mean sleep because anyone who knows me very well knows i love sleep. i actually mean rest in two different ways: ceasing from constant activity and waiting on the Lord.
i have the underlying need to be in constant activity. i am very driven by nature and, though some may describe it as a positive trait, i have found that oftentimes it leans towards the side of striving. i live off of "to do" lists as not a means of keeping myself on task as much as limiting the tasks that i try to accomplish in a 24 hour period of time. if i do not give myself a stopping place, i will not stop but be looking at all that hasn't been finished even when it is completely unrealistic to finish. by writing things down i have found a way to limit the constant chatter in my brain telling me to do this and do that... causing me to start one task and be distracted by the next so that i start countless things at the same time thinking that i am "multi-tasking," when in reality i am not getting anything finished very well.
i also have a difficult time waiting on the Lord whether that is in the midst of being active or being still. i often think of "the waiting place" from dr. seuss's book oh the places you'll go, and how everyone is just waiting.
the waiting place...
...for people just waiting.
waiting for a train to go
or a bus to come, or a plane to go
or the mail to come, or the rain to go
or the phone to ring, or the snow to snow
or waiting around for a yes or no
or waiting for their hair to grow.
everyone is just waiting.
waiting for the fish to bite
or waiting for wind to fly a kite
or waiting around for friday night
or waiting, perhaps, for their uncle jake
or a pot to boil, or a better break
or a string of pearls, or a pair of pants
or a wig with curls, or another chance.
everyone is just waiting.
i do not like to wait. i am a very impatient person, though i am one of those crazies that actually prays for patience. i am determined to perfect patience in my lifetime, and so i press into it though it has definitely never come naturally.
waiting on the Lord
there are times when we are called to wait on the Lord to move on our behalf. there are times when we are called to be still. this morning i felt the Lord speaking to my heart that i was entering into a season when i am to learn on a deeper level what it is to be still and wait on Him. i am not sure what that will look like or what the end result will be, but i feel Him whispering, cease striving. be still. know I AM God. know I AM in control. let me be exalted in your life.
i love how the new american standard version words psalms 46:10-11. though it is in context a psalm about the last days, i feel the Lord presently speaking to me personally the same message at the end of the psalm:
"cease striving and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth."
the Lord of hosts is with us; the God of jacob is our stronghold. selah.
be still. cease striving. stop your constant activity that really is just a grasp for control of your life. let Me be exalted.
has the Lord been speaking this to anyone else in this season? i would love for anyone to share in the comments section your experience with learning to wait on the Lord and cease striving. i gain so much from the insights you all share... as the title of my blog, at the gate called beautiful, we are all called to share what we have to give.