piece by piece

before having kids i was an elementary school teacher.  i actually taught 2nd grade for the two years that i worked full-time in the classroom before having my first baby.

one of my favorite things to do with my students as a learning center and as one of those "time-fillers" for the 2-3 minutes they finished a project early before the rest of the class or were waiting for the 2 minutes before the final bell rang to go home for the day was a puzzle.  i loved to always have a puzzle on the blue table in my classroom that was a work in progress.  a student would put in a piece or two here and there and as a whole class we would slowly chip away at finishing it together.  my students got pretty skilled for 7 year olds at puzzles.  i remember the hardest one i brought in was a 500 piece puzzle that ended up having very odd pieces when i opened it up.  i thought, oh great!  i picked one that they will not be able to finish.  i wondered if it would end up being demoralizing to have something way beyond the age and ability level they were at.  i even had other adults sit down once in a while when they stopped by and marvel at the difficulty of the puzzle we were undertaking.

yet, little by little, with great patience and perseverance, my class of second graders finished the difficult puzzle!  it was one of those moments when i was not only proud of them, but honestly surprised that they were even able to do it.  what a great example that was to me that the most difficult tasks can be completed one small piece at a time.  it doesn't necessarily matter my skill level or even my confidence.  it is all about the patience and perseverance of doing the little i can and not giving up until it is completed.

now i do puzzles with my kids.  asher, my six year old, has been putting puzzles together since before he was even a year old.  now he is amazing at the puzzles that he can finish!  with each child i have taken some time, some amazing bonding time, to teach them the skills and strategies of completing a puzzle.  we talk about doing the edges first, then matching colors, shapes, the male to female sides, and all the different ways that they can use trial and error to find that one missing piece.

today i took some puzzle time with my four year old and two year old.  my four year old and i taught the younger one how to figure out which piece to try where and which side to try if one didn't work.  it once again reminded me about patience and perseverance. 

and since i cannot leave you without a Bible passage to meditate on, here is the well-known passage from romans 5:

we also exult in our tribulations, knowing that tribulation brings about perseverance; 
and perseverance, proven character; and proven character, hope;  
and hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us.
for while we were still helpless, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly. 

 we all want that kind of hope - the hope anchored in Him who laid down His life before we even loved Him.  let's persevere through whatever lay before us, even if it seems a task too big or too difficult, and practice patience in our pursuit of doing one small piece at a time.  we will see the other side and the other side is good, but along the way we will gain hope because in the step by step, piece by piece journey, we will realize that He is there with us all along.

charis

the flowers fade

yesterday we had a conversation in the car that went like this:

asher:  those are pretty flowers mom.  why did amma give them to you?

me:  because she is going out of town and wants someone to be able to enjoy them.

asher:  but who is going to enjoy them when we go out of town next weekend?

me:  well, they won't live that long.  they will only probably be alive a couple more days, so we get to enjoy them for the short time they are still alive.

asher:  but i thought it was spring?  why will the flowers die?

this led into a conversation about the difference between cut flowers and flowers that are still on the plant, and how in reality both will eventually die.  of course, as a six year old, asher's main question was why.  i started thinking about how to explain it to him.  since i am not a botanist, i simply told him this:  God created the flowers.  He could have made them any way He wanted to, but He chose to make the have a short spurt of absolute beauty and then for them to die.  He could have made them bloom forever.  He could have chosen to have their fragrance and beauty go on and on and on.  but for some reason, when He had a completely blank slate to work with when creating flowers, He chose for them to bloom, be fragrant and beautiful, and then in frailty fade away.  i don't know why He chose it to be this way, but i do know it was not an accident.

i thought about this the rest of the evening.  there is beauty in the frailty of flowers.  it reminds me of the verses in matthew 6 about God's care for us:

and why are you worried about clothing? observe how the lilies of the field grow; they do not toil nor do they spin, yet I say to you that not even solomon in all his glory clothed himself like one of these. but if God so clothes the grass of the field, which is alive today and tomorrow is thrown into the furnace, will He not much more clothe you? you of little faith!

i also think of david's comparison of man to the flowers in psalms 103:15:

as for man, his days are like grass; as a flower of the field, so he flourishes.

also isaiah 40:6-8 comes to mind:

all flesh is grass, and all its loveliness is like the flower of the field. 
the grass withers, the flower fades, when the breath of the Lord blows upon it; surely the people are grass.
the grass withers, the flower fades, but the Word of our God stands forever.

the bible has so many references to the frail beauty of the flowers.  it makes me wonder:  why God, did You chose to create flowers this way?  why would You create something so beautiful and so satisfying only for it to be gone in a short time?  why would You take something so beautiful and instead of creating it strong, You purposed to make it weak? 

all this thinking of flowers reminds me of our own short lives here on earth.  i think it puts in perspective what the end of the passage in isaiah 40:8 says - the brevity of the flowers and even our lives are meant to stand in great contrast to the eternal nature of God and His Word (Jesus).

when i can look at all of life and all of the natural world around me and realize that the only thing that never fades is Him, it causes me to wonder.  how could the eternal find pleasure in temporal and fragile beauty?  how could He take those who fade just like the flowers, and transform them into an eternal bride for His Son?  how could the God who possesses all strength and majesty find beauty in humanity which is so frail?   it is a mystery that may baffle me for a lifetime. 

with each flower of spring, wonder arises within me at this Creator God who could have done things a million different ways.  but He chose the perfect way.   this God of all strength and power chose to pursue and win the hearts of frail and fragile humans like me.  this truly is a wonderful God.


charis

new every morning

i am exhausted.  what does this picture have to do with it?  nothing.  i just like it.  it is from dying eggs with my kids a couple weeks ago and i love the colors. 

tomorrow is a new day.  tomorrow i am officially in the home stretch of this pregnancy:  3rd trimester. 

there so much going on in my mind right now.  it could mean it is a good time for writing.  it could mean that i should get a bit more focused before i ramble in 30 different directions at once. 

i talked with my son last night after he had a hard day obeying and making good choices, and i assured him that tomorrow is a new day.  i told him how the mercies of God are new every morning, once again referencing the passage on hope that has grabbed my heart and refused to let go.

the Lord's lovingkindnesses indeed never cease, for His compassions never fail. 
they are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness. 
lamentations 3:22-23

so, whether today was a good day or a bad day, a day full of the awareness of the nearness of God or a day that He felt distant and the heart felt cold... tomorrow is a new day and He is so faithful.  He is our reason to hope.

charis

a new song

sing to Him a new song; play skillfully with a shout of joy.  psalm 33:3

one of the ways i am blessed to connect with the Lord is through worship.  i love to worship Him.  playing the piano is one of the ways i worship the Lord.  sometimes i can just get lost in the moment and let my fingers sing their own song to Him.  it is such an amazing blessing to be able to offer Him something that comes from deep within me - music and the song of my heart. 

every monday night for the past month, and for the upcoming month and beyond, i get the privilege of playing at our house of prayer called the watch of the Lord the devotional set from 6-8pm.  the devotional set is a time people can come and spend their own one on one time with the Lord, worshiping, soaking, reading the Word, or praying through their own personal prayer lists and burdens.  i get the opportunity to create an environment where they can connect with the Lord individually.  it is such an awesome opportunity that i cherish.  even at times when i have had a long day and don't feel like going to play and sing for two hours, i inevitably end up connecting with the Lord and finding that place in worship when serving Him and pouring out my love just makes sense.  it is as if my burdens melt away because my focus become rightly aligned to what matters most:  Him.

it is exciting that the Lord has been downloading songs to me during these times.  i don't have a bunch of completed songs from these mondays, but i will get little choruses, melodies, phrases, and they just flow.  i am trying to steward them by writing them down so that i can develop them sometime if it works, or even just use them again as little pieces of my time with the Lord.  so many times when one of these songwriting moments hits me, i will be in near tears because of the way the Lord's love moves on my heart.  those are the moments i live for.  not every moment of life, or even the the house of prayer, is like that, but when it is... oh how sweet!  it reminds me of the verse that david penned:

o taste and see that the Lord is good; how blessed is the man who takes refuge in Him!  psalms 34:8

i encourage you, whether you are a musician or the furthest from it, take some time to pour your heart out before the Lord, sing your hearts song to Him, and find Him in that one on one connection.  you will be refreshed and so glad you took the time to get a fresh taste of Him.

charis

links to favorite past posts

i was looking at all the people who now read my blog and i realized many of you have started reading in the past couple months and may or may not have had the opportunity to go through my archives and read some of my past posts.  i wanted to put links here to some of my favorite posts of the past that may encourage you where you are at right now. enjoy!  bookmark this one so you can come back and click through the links at your leisure, and feel free to email and share with friends who may be encouraged!  i write so i can share my journey and give what i have been given to others. 

note on commenting:  i went back and copied and pasted all my past comments from before i installed the intense debate commenting program that apparently hid them all.  (yes, this took me a couple hours.) unfortunately, that means the dates on those comments are all wrong, but they were posted right around when the blog was written.  i didn't know how to edit the dates when re-entering them in.    for those who want to comment and are still having a hard time with intense debate (which i am kinda regretting adding), you can comment as a guest by just typing in your comment and not worrying about where it has ways to log in.  Then, below, you can post the url of your blog or website and it should make your name (even a guest name that doesn't have an avatar by it) a hotlink to your site.  try it out and let me know if it works better for you.  so sorry that intense debate messed up some of my commenters.  i love the interaction with readers, so don't give up on trying to comment here.  hopefully i can get all these bugs smoothed out.  if only i was more techie!  then i would know better what to do.


master gardener - my second post on this blog.  i am always amazed how God speaks to me deep life lessons through nature again and again and again.  

life of faith - written a year ago about this crazy journey the Lord has had us on the past year... God has been so good to us though it has been the adventure of a lifetime!

His eye is on the sparrow - a follow up to life of faith six months later.

i have a couple posts on fasting:  fasting 1  and fasting 2

humility is a post i wrote on the character of Jesus that just fascinates me - He referred to His humility more than any other character trait when talking about Himself.  there is gold for us to get when we study what He said was important about Himself.

a vision for fullness of joy - more on humility, but moreso on how it relates to our personal lives and how it can open up doors of joy we would never know apart from it.

psalms 27 is one of my favorite chapters of the whole bible and i have a couple posts on it:  psalm 27, i believe, fearless trust, unless

if - a post about revival and what it takes to see it really happen.

a post about abortion:  open your mouth for the mute

words, words, words - challenging thoughts about how we use our mouths.

a couple posts on a common theme of mine these days: hope!  - hope,  therefore i have hope, unless

this i know - confidence that God cares for us.

a heart that is alive - simple steps to contemplative prayer - demystifying the mystical.

don't give up - a reminder i need often.

it's all a part of the journey - the raw emotions and turning to the Lord


an apologetic of sorts - why i believe what i believe

charis