wanting a fresh encounter

i am sitting in the prayer room at the international house of prayer in kansas city.  i cannot describe to you the feelings i have surging through my blood - in so many ways it feels like i have come home.  i am not sure if that makes sense really; i am not from the midwest.  it isn't really the location that feels like home to me, but the atmosphere of constant worship and prayer.  though we oversee a house of prayer back home, there is just something about just being here and not being responsible for anything other than being with God.  it is so refreshing.  i am struggling with the right words to write so i guess that is just how i will put it - refreshing.

our house of prayer is in a lot of transition and we don't have a building right now to meet for our regular prayer meetings.  i am realizing so much right now how much i miss it - that sacred place to go to just meet with the Lord.  He is moving in the midst of our community, no doubt, but i miss the gathering where everything else stops for the one thing of coming before Him.  no teaching, no conversations, no other thing but gazing upon Him and waiting on Him.  so refreshing.  it stirs my heart even more to just wait on Him and to listen to what He is saying. 

i am wanting to hear Him speak to me.  i feel like there is so much that has transpired in our lives over the past several weeks that He had my attention.  i need to hear His voice.  i want to encounter Him fresh and new.  i have already had many tears spill in the couple days here.

view taking off from vegas

the journey to get here with 5 kids was a bit intense - the kids were amazing with the full day of travel and we didn't lose anyone in the 4 airports we were at that day!  success right?!  no major meltdowns really either.

when we got into kc a couple hours late from delayed planes the place we rented a car from was closed and they didn't have our car there (though the lady on the phone told me it would be even with us getting in late).  in fact, they didn't have any cars there at all - a completely empty lot!

the only place open at 3am took pity on this little family of seven with sleepy kiddos and after watching us on the phones trying to figure something out, unsuccessfully, offered us this beauty for the price of an economy car.

yep, that is a good ole 12 seater.  isn't that crazy?!  these rent for much more than the minivan we rented and we ended up getting it for cheaper than we had paid originally.  crazy huh?  it was the only vehicle there that would fit our family.  otherwise, we could have been stuck at the airport for who knows how much longer.

we arrived at the house we are staying at 5:45am... so bedtime was 6am after the sunrise.  yikes!  but we made it and the kids passed with flying colors!  they were so great.

so here we are in kc.  if you think of it, would you pray that i hear from the Lord?  i have some things on my heart and i would love to encounter Him fresh.  thank you so much!

love you all.

charis

what an opportunity!

it is the home stretch of school and i am so ready for summer!  i am having a hard time with these long sunlit evenings to get the kids to bed for the early mornings.  i love to spend time with my kids and i am so excited for them to be home and doing fun things together!

to kick off the summer (though we still have 3 days of school left) we went cherry picking on saturday morning.  we filled 2.5 buckets of cherries and only paid $21.  after sorting through the berries i found we had about 17 baskets filled! i would way that was pretty good.  besides getting a ton of great summer fruit, we had a great time as a family.  it's memory making and a yummy way to make memories by picking fresh fruit.  do you know your farmer?

now what i really want to write about is the overwhelming absolute goodness and kindness of our God.  do you know His very real kindness in every circumstance?  i am rejoicing extra in Him today because of our present trials.

we woke up this morning to our jeep wrangler missing from the front of our house.  yep, it was stolen.  after all that has happened over the last couple weeks i have to be honest with you that i wasn't terribly surprised.  this is not said in a pessimistic way at all.  i have been asking the Lord to be my Rock that i build on alone and that i wouldn't be so attached to the things of this world.

just yesterday morning i posted on our facebook page (are you part of our growing community yet?)  a passage in revelation 3 that was a warning to one of the seven churches about how she had grown lukewarm.  in His incredible mercy and kindness, Jesus warned this church that her eyes had become distracted by riches and thinking she had all she needed in wealth of the world in the now.  what she did not realizing was the true broken state she was in.  reading this yesterday morning i prayed, God, don't let me be blinded!  i want to be rich in you and it that means breaking my grip on my stuff now, then please do it!

you see, in our house of prayer community and on this blog as well we talk a lot about having our hope anchored in the Day of the Lord.  i talk a lot about Jesus being my inheritance and my exceedingly great reward.  yet i don't want to stand before Him when He returns and find out that my life really was just a bunch of good talk without the reality of living the message behind it.  i don't want to have a reputation for being alive, but being dead on the inside (a warning Jesus gave another one of the seven churches)!

so today, i thank Him in true sincerity for the opportunity for my heart to be tested now.  am i willing to live the message of having my hope anchored in His coming?  i get the opportunity to bless my enemy and pray for his (or her) repentance and salvation from the lake of fire.  i get to ask that the Lord uses this not only to refine my heart and love for Him, but to draw the thief to Himself and ask that he would choose to leave his life of sin and follow Jesus.

of course i would love for the police to find our jeep and return it.  i would love for the thief himself to repent and return it himself.

but my hope doesn't lie in justice right now - my hope lies in the One who will make all the wrong things right once and for all when He steps foot again on this fallen earth and sets up His righteous kingdom.

this is what i eagerly wait for - and if someone takes my stuff i choose to rejoice in my God for He is good and He is for me and not against me.  He gives me the opportunity to choose Him first with my real life and not just with my words.  i get the opportunity to experience true joy and turn from the human tendency to get angry when 1 are wronged.

i know God will take care of us.  sure, it is our car, but it is only a car.  He has never failed me yet and i know Him to be faithful and trustworthy and in this too He is so so good.

you can ask the Lord to bring our jeep back (i am), but i mostly ask you to pray with me that i will be found pleasing to Him in the midst of this and that the thief would find mercy and salvation.  amen!

 so i thank Jesus for today as much as for our cherry picking day - all are gifts.

still counting gifts to 1000...


654 - 672:

654. supplies in my craft closet to make gifts.

655. the Holy Spirit moving my heart for the poor.

656. a family pass to the aquatic center for the summer.

657. my boys who want to be preachers when they grow up and are already giving their  first sermons.

658. praying with other women lift up each others' needs and desires.

659. fresh fruit of the summer.

660. cherry picking.

661. patience He is working into my heart.

662. tender hearts before the Lord.

663. bright blue sunny sky days.

664. the rain watering my garden for me today.

665. new ideas for the garden.

666. sweet sons who love each other as brothers and friends.

667. new piano student.

668. the opportunity to walk the talk.

669. His mercies are new every morning, so great is His faithfulness.

670. teachers who see my boys with the eyes of the Father.

671. our freezer to preserve the summer bounty for the winter up ahead.

672. He works all things together for our good.

i am linked up at a holy experience.

if you have a blog, let me know if you have a list of your grace gifts so i can visit!  if you don't, write something you are thankful for in the comment section.  i love hearing from you!

if you haven't liked this facebook page, you can in the upper right of this post.  i would love to keep in better touch with you!

charis

only enough time to be thankful

photo by myriah grubbs

i have so much on my mind and heart to write about and i just haven't had the time i would like to sit down and get it all down here to share with you all.  hopefully this means some really good blog posts are coming up as soon as i get some decent time to work through the thoughts in this brain.

for now, i am simply going to share the things i am thankful for as i continue to count the graces He has given me in my life - some small, some huge, and some disguised as hardship.  sharing this list every monday has impacted my heart so much!  the opportunity to stop and recognize His constant activity in my life is worth more than gold.

291 - 316 :

291. the free t-ball league the boys are playing in this summer.

292. connecting time with some of our partners over coffee and desserts.

293. discovering the tomato worms so i could rescue the remaining tomatoes they haven't already destroyed.

294. feeding the gross worms to my chickens.

295. fun 1st birthday party!

296. watching simeon take his sweet first steps and grow in confidence each time he tries.

297. the opportunity to be a faithful witness of the cross.

298. the encouragement of the Lord to my heart during worship this morning, "will you be a picture of my forgiving love in the midst of mistreatment?"  the honor (and struggle) of living like Jesus.

299. fresh produce during the summer.

300. connecting with an out of town friend i haven't seen for a year and a half.

301. my cozy little home and rowdy big family that fills it.

302. swimming on scorching hot days.

303. the weekly opportunity to partner my heart with the Lord's in praying for israel at our friday night house of prayer set devoted to praying for their salvation.

304. being almost done with my Bible reading challenge!  i can't believe i have almost finished and i didn't quit!

305. my family God has blessed me with on both sides.

306. memorizing the Word with my kids - through the 1st 3 psalms and about to start the 4th!

307. fresh picked blackberries.

308. fresh fruit smoothies for lunch.

309. the faithfulness of His tenderness to my heart when i turn to Him.

310. the courage to speak the truth in love when i would rather allow the fear of man to silence His urgings.

311. real joy.

312. a husband who still pursues my heart, after almost 10 years of marriage and 11 years of knowing each other.

313. letting go of the things i thought i needed to be happy.

314. the Lord correcting me through the words of my son.

315. the Lord coming through at the 11th hour once again.

316. the challenges of living on support as intercessory missionaries with a large family - opportunity to see God move on our behalf.

i am linked up at a holy experience.

 i welcome your sharing of His gifts in your life this week in the comments below. 

charis

it's the simple things

it is often the simple things in life that we enjoy most if we can pause long enough to really see. 

the days in the park when it is blazing hot, but the shade of the trees and the warm breeze makes it tolerable to enjoy the blue sky and long afternoon.

a simple game of catch.  teaching the young ones the skills of throwing and catching.  watching their amazement when daddy throws the ball high in the air and it lands in his mitt.  remembering your own amazement not too terribly long ago when your daddy showed off the same trick.

watching them eat their first foods fresh and full of summer sweetness and refreshment. laughing that the rind of the melon serves as a teething toy as well as entertainment for this little one who will be running around the green fields with his brothers and daddy all too soon.  slow down baby boy, slow down.

holding back from kissing the freckled nose of the little boy who was the baby so very recently, but who will not allow you to call him baby.  david, call me just david, he insists.  knowing the melon dripping down his shirt will take some time to clean but enjoying watching him enjoy the small pleasures in summer somehow makes the laundry work to come tolerable.

gazing at the green eyes that are the only one of the 4 sets that match your own.  as much as you love the others being blue like their daddy's, there is something about seeing a bit of yourself in your little ones that makes the heart swell and eyes stare. amazement at how God designed each feature drawing from both mommy and daddy to make a unique mix in every child.

wishing this little one would slow down just a little bit, yet thanking God for every moment that you are privileged to watch him grow up.  careful to not take the moment for granted, knowing that it is a treasure that will soon fly by, fleeting as the wind, and leave you with only the warm memories of grace gifts He chose to bestow in kindness on your life. 

reminding myself of all He has given.  sometimes speaking to myself, reminding myself, is the greatest gift i can give myself.

life is so full of grace.  each moment, 

if we can see it - if i can see it, 

is full of grace.

251 - 274:

251. that God holds us in the palm of His hand - our lives are literally sustained by Him.

252. the countless number of people praying for and giving to our dear friends and baby audrey.

253. every answered prayer, no matter how small or how large they may seem... every answer is such grace from Him.

254. my four wonderful, beautiful, amazing, strong little men - God has richly blessed me.

255. chocolate peanut butter cup ice cream.  s'mores ice cream.  okay, anything with chocolate in it. it isn't so much the ice cream as the chocolate.

256. bike rides in the park with my favorite 5 men in the whole world.

257. the chickens that keep trying to eat my garden.

258. roadside strawberry stands selling the sweetest berries for amazing prices.

259. a bag full of local berries in the freezer ready for smoothies.

260. tomatoes growing on the tomato plants... hope of what is to come.

261. the promise that He works all things together for good for those who love Him and are called according to His purpose.

262. the Holy Spirit who will never leave us... He promised He would not leave us as orphans.

263. a bbq at the lake with our house of prayer community filled with fellowship, good food, and prayer.

264. a group of people who are devoted to prayer, a group of persistent widows, to walk through the hard times of life with knowing they actually will pray.

265. He will one day bring justice once and for all.

266. we get to taste of His justice to come now in measure and the longing it stirs within me for the day of His coming.

267. the honor of living the life i do and getting to do what i do.  how am i counted worthy to waste my life on Him?

268. so so many new clothes, that fit!, after a shopping trip with my sisters and mom to forever 21 sponsored by my family's generous birthday money gifts.

269. relaxing lunch, great coffee, and pastries all from my mom on our girls' afternoon getaway.

270. warm summer nights.

271. the beautiful place i get to call home... so often when looking at the mountains, river, lakes, or just enjoying the warm summer nights i am known to say, now this is why i live in here.

272. fireworks.

273. amazing grass-fed local steaks from the cow we went in on with friends.

274. swimming in cool water on a hot day.


i am linked up at a holy experience.

i would love to hear the grace in your life that you have eyes to see... it opens our eyes to see the grace He has give us in our own lives.

charis

when life takes us by surprise

there are things that happen in life that take us completely by surprise. we can be in cruise control in pretty normal day to day life, not extremely up or down, and then be thrust into the most surprising and difficult trial imaginable.

it is in these surprises of life - not the birthday party or flowers on the table for no apparent reason - that we realize our need for community, family, and deep friendships that become pillars in a time where all else around seems to crumble.

these surprises - usually smelling strangely familiar to that valley which king david wrote of where darkness and death loom all around threatening and taunting and draining one of all strength - are when the connection to the Lord is tested.  do we harden with offense accusing Him - how could You let this happen to me?  or do we fall back into His arms realizing in that moment that He is with us comforting us with His perfect leadership?  

we often live under the delusion that these surprises of life only happen to someone else.  never to the ones i love... never to those i know... never to me.

and when these delusions, the idealism of our own making, are shattered our priorities shift.  the mind spins into a blur with all the to do list, that was previously occupying the thoughts, and the what ifs, which start to crowd out everything else.

in this moment we grasp for some sense of control to stop the spinning mind.  for me, a sink full of dishes is suddenly feverishly scrubbed and dried, the sink scoured, then the counter tops polished, the floors swept and mopped, as i take out my angst on every speck of dirt that offends my kitchen.  the more i cannot control the surprises, the more i reach to control that within my grasp - desperately trying to find stability and not give into the crashing, the falling, and the swirling that threaten to overcome my soul.

then it cracks.  it is a soft word of comfort or a touch on the shoulder and the outward facade that everything is in control crumbles and the tears spill out.  a mix of anger, grief, and confusion race to the surface and the little that we can control is suddenly put back into perspective - meaningless.

God alone is the Refuge in the surprises of life.  we as believers, as friends and family, have the privilege of walking with one another, encouraging each other to look to the Source, the Refuge for our souls.  when we realize how very little we can control in life, we also realize how big He is and how much He is in control - He holds us in the very palm of His hand. 

photo by myriah grubbs

this past week has been one of these kind of surprises for our house of prayer community.  a family in leadership with the watch has been thrown into intense circumstances completely out of the blue and out of their control.  their baby girl's life hangs in the balance.  the life of one of our own hangs in the balance and we get the opportunity to find out how big our God is, how perfect His leadership, and how much we believe that He can do the impossible.

for what is impossible with man, is possible with God.

i cannot stop hearing this proverb in my thoughts as i pray and try to serve my dear friends whose world has been turned upside down.

a friend loves at all times, 
and a brother is born for adversity. proverbs 17:17

this is what we were born for - to love in the way He loves, to stand beside and fight with those we love and pray until they pass through the valley and breakthrough comes.

He is our Strength.  He is our Refuge.  He is our ever present Help in times of trouble.

we will not fear.

we get to be His hands and His feet.  we get the privilege of crying His tears of compassion with our dear friends.   

we serve.  

                we fight.   

                               we pray.   

                                              we love at all times.   

He will win - now and forevermore.

would you like to help our dear friends  

will and atasha macivor? 

we have a facebook page set up with details of how to pray and how to give if the Holy Spirit leads you to help.  God is bigger than all the surprises of life.  we believe He can and He will bring complete healing to baby audrey.   

thank you for your prayers for our house of prayer community as we fight for the life of one of our own.

charis

He is worthy

photo credit

some days it is easier to be thankful than others.  sometimes it just seems so obvious all that He has done in our lives.  other days, we struggle to see His activity.  but regardless of how much our hearts are moved in any particular moment, He is always active in our lives and He is always faithful.  He is the God who never fails us. 

photo credit

we give thanks every day, not because we feel like it but because

He is worthy.  

enter His gates with thanksgiving 
and His courts with praise. 
give thanks to Him, 
bless His name.
psalm 100:4

241 - 251:

241. feeling the Holy Spirit on my heart while I play the piano and worship Jesus.

242. my brother and sister (and their spouses) who graciously watched my kiddos while bill and i went to a house of prayer gathering for the day out of town.

243. plums off of our little plum tree in the backyard.

244. my sister picking blueberries for me at a you-pick place.  fresh yummy blueberries.

245. the discipline of having to write what i am thankful for, so i have to focus on being thankful even when i do not feel like it.

246. my kids napping/resting all at the same time so i can have time by myself to spend with the Lord.

247. enough grace for this moment.  then more grace for the next moment.  moment by moment.

248. a friend's simple encouragement this weekend, "you are a good mom."  it meant the world to me.

249. my generous parents-  every sunday having lunch at their house, their treat.

250. my chickens, even though they angered me by eating my bell pepper plants in the garden.

251. the fact that He hasn't failed me yet. 


i am linked up at a holy experience.

what are you thankful for?
please share in the comments below.

charis

simple woman's daybook 6.24.11

 

for today:

outside my window... it is a bright beautiful blue sky day!  it is supposed to be in the 90's - a mild summer day around here.

i am thinking... about an upcoming guest post i am doing.  watch for it!  i will let you know when it is up and give you the link to go check it out.

i am thankful... for so much!  one thing in particular is that i was able to spend time with a dear friend who happens to also be one of our partners (and who was also one of my college roommates).  i love when there is a still that heart connect with someone over the years even when we do not live in the same place or get to talk all the time... but it is still there.  i think it is evidence of the Holy Spirit.

remembering... how fast this past year has flown by when i look at my little guy cruise around furniture and realize he is almost 1!  how do little ones grow up so quickly?!  i have adored each and every season of their lives, but i must say i always have fond memories of the baby days.  i think i am a baby addict.

from the learning rooms... well, since it is summer, we decided to do a library reading program with our kiddos.  asher has flown through the simple bookmarks where you color in the picture for each 20 minutes that you read.  he is reading sometimes 2 hours a day or more!  right now he is working on re-reading (yes, i just did say re-reading, as in reading for the 2nd time) the entire chronicles of narnia.  did i fail to mention that he is 7, just finished up with 1st grade?  i do not know how to keep up with this kid.  if we home-schooled him, i bet he could graduate in like a year or two!  okay, so i kid.  kinda.  there is no way i would let my genius child graduate at 9.

from the kitchen... so... you may think i am a bit strange and crazy (unless you are a strange crazy real foodie like me), but lately i have been really into water kefir.  i know, several of you may be scratching your heads thinking, what?  she is fermenting water?!!  yes, it is true.  probiotics, you know?  though i do not write about food much here on my blog, lots of the blogs i personally subscribe to in my google reader are blogs about natural living and real food.  my own dad wonders where i came from?!  oh my. 

i was making homemade yogurt for the probiotic benefits, but two (and a 3rd suspect) of my kids struggle with digesting lactose, so i am trying the water kefir route to avoid the dairy yet get all the probiotic benefits.  so far, so good.  my favorite one right now?  well, i have been adding a bit of vanilla extract (homemade of course) and half a cinnamon stick and it is creme soda-ish.  i have also been adding it to our summer smoothies.  even bill approves, but he is always up for my crazy food schemes.
 

i am wearing... well, i am not quite ready for the day yet... but i assure you today i will be in shorts, a tank and flip flops.  that is the way we dress around here in the summer.

i am creating... more headbands for my lovely etsy store.  i am sorry i have neglected it as of late, but life has just been so busy and flying by!  the good news is i listed a new one last night and it was already featured on a treasury.  so fun!

i am going... to an all house of prayer gathering in roseville this weekend.  i am looking forward to connecting with the other house of prayer folk in california.  i am hoping for some good heart connects and encouragement.

i am reading... the book of luke in my Bible reading challenge.  i am both enjoying reading the gospels and being so challenged by the words and life of Jesus as i read.  so many times christianity can become so status quo, at least for me personally, and then when i come face to face with our Savior and His life i am challenged to change and shaken out of the comfortable.

i am hoping... to go camping this summer.  we are working out the detail of a little trip to lake siskiyou and i am so looking forward to it.

i am hearing... the sound of the boys' pencils coloring on paper and coloring books at the table and the baby boy crawl around exploring.  it is actually pretty quiet in here for 4 little boys, and yet no one is "into" anything.

around the house... i have been rather overwhelmed by this area of my life.  does it not seem like there is no possible way to catch up or keep up on the house?  it is such a huge job and i would love to hire like a dozen people to knock off all the things on our to do list around here!  anyone willing to work for the dazzling pay of a good dinner?

  
one of my favorite things... is summer time.  i just love blue skies, sunshine, (even the heat, yes even the heat), hanging out by water, spending time outdoors, big salads as the main course, fresh fruit and lots of it, camping trips, longer days, and on and on.

pondering... the topic that i am writing my guest post on... in working on it i have had the opportunity to reflect on past seasons of my life which felt excruciatingly difficult and it is amazing to realize God's faithfulness in the midst.  they say that hindsight is 20/20 right?  (who are they infamous they anyways?  they always say the smartest things.)

a few plans for the rest of the week: i already mentioned how we are going to spend time with other houses of prayer in california.  other than that, i believe our weekend consists of going to church and spending time with my family.  sunday for us is always family time.  we have had sunday lunch (which 90% of the time is pizza) with my parents and siblings every sunday for, well, forever.  it is a great tradition.

picture for the day:

this is my newly listed headband at my store.  so summery, huh?!  

i am linked up with other lovely ladies at the simple woman's daybook.  

charis

from where you came

sometimes you can really only understand who you are when you see from where you came.

you visit an area and it just feels like home.  you could see yourself happy living there all the days of your life... and you realize that for generations before your people did live there.  there on the land.  there in harmony with the nature around them.  there before the gold rush brought all the pioneers to change the simple way of life into something a lot less simple.

a longing for the simple times stirs within.  wide open spaces.  a place to let 4 little boys run free and far and not worry about who they may meet or what car may not see them.  entertained for countless hours by the very creation of the Creator.

weren't we made to enjoy all that He made?

sleeping to the sounds of rushing water.

swimming in the swimming hole in the heat of the summer. 

having a place to bury those you love close to home, right at home, where they are always near though you know they are no longer there.

i think i found a piece of myself when my family and i went to see the property where my great great grandma, the great great great grandma of my children, a woman i never met, lived.  back to my roots.  a place i had never before seen with my eyes but felt like i was coming back to where i belonged.

the native blood runs deep though the pale skin, light eyes, and blond hair speak louder.

and something about knowing where i come from, finding just one more piece of the puzzle that makes up me and the way i see the world brings safety.  stability.  history.

generations i have never known have shaped me and influenced who i am.  and i wonder what they would think of the generations that follow.  though our lives look different at first glance, are we really all that different than from where we came?

the beauty of His creation leaves me in wonder and awe.  the thought that my family lived on this land makes me long to live here too. 

this is my country - the home of my people.

counting gifts...

200 - 222:

200. a photoshoot for simeon with the amazing myriah grubbs.

201. fresh eggs from the back yard.

202. the last week of school festivities.

203. uriah's pre-k graduation.  is it possible my mama's boy is growing up so fast?

204. spending time at the watch.  the house of prayer fills my soul.

205. encountering the Holy Spirit in reading the book of matthew.  a fresh revelation of Jesus my Messiah.

206. the brother-in-law who makes me a white mocha every time i am at his house.  every time.  and i don't even have to ask.

207. going to the property my great great grandma used to own and experiencing family history.  connecting with my roots.

208. realizing so much of who i am comes from who i have come from.

209. freshly swept wood floors.

210. watching swim lessons in the misty rain knowing that sunny days are coming.

211. sunny days are coming!

212. contact lenses in my eyes so i can actually see again after having to wear only my glasses for the past week and a half.

213. an unexpected cash gift at just the right time.

214. a night out with the girls and laughing and laughing and laughing.

215. homemade bean burritos.

216. summer with my kids home!!

217. the amazing response in the comments of my lastest blog post about divorce.  the willingness of readers to be vulnerable and let us all learn and grow from each others experiences and battles.

218. laughing til tears are running down my face.

219. the privilege to raise 4 boys who will be mighty men.

220. learning how to balance all the plates of life and the grace to pick them up when they come crashing down.

221. beautiful northern california.  i am so blessed to live where i do.  i am often in awe of the beauty that God created all around me.

222. fresh homemade strawberry pie at grandma's house when any family member comes in town to visit.  thank you grandma and thank you visiting family!

i am linked up at a holy experience.

what beauty is around you?

charis

simple woman's daybook 5.25.11

 

for today:

outside my window... the small city i live in is surrounded on three sides by beautiful mountain ranges. awwwwww... i am always blessed with such a beautiful view!

i am thinking... about how huge the mercy of the Lord is and how thankful i am that i receive it when i don't even deserve it.

i am thankful... for all the reminders God is giving me to spend time with Him getting filled up with His love and the knowledge of Him.

remembering... that justice and mercy are not opposites.  God operates in both and it is a beautiful paradox to my naive mind.

from the learning rooms... i feel like i have been learning so much about the small prophetic books in the end of the old testament that i was not all that familiar with before.  i am really enjoying becoming re-familiarized with them.  i have read them before, but not for a long time.  reading unlocking the Bible as a companion to my Bible reading has helped me so much in just getting the context of these little taught on books. 

from the kitchen... i have slowly been building a whole foods pantry.  i have been buying in bulk from azure standard and have amazing gals in town who are willing to split 25 or 33 lbs orders of things like sugar, oats, beans and such with me so that i can get the best prices possible and be able to feed my family stuff that is good for them and cheap.  i have to counter balance all the not good for us treats we have been eating with all the birthday celebrations this month (though i have to say i have really enjoyed them)! 
 

i am wearing... jean shorts, a sleeveless knit sweater in pretty greens and blues, leather flip flops, hair up in a messy pony tail, and light makeup.

i am creating... gifts (i keep saying that because i keep creating them!).  i even thought of things to make for my husband, brother, and brother-in-law that they actually would use and like!  it has been so fun.

i am going... to house of prayer sets more regularly lately at our house of prayer here (called the watch).  i have really enjoyed just the little couple hours away to focus on the Lord, to refuel my heart in loving Him.  i had really missed not going as regularly!

i am reading... the last few books in the old testament in my Bible reading challenge. i can't believe i am almost all the way through the old testament!  even though i am constantly a couple days behind in my reading plan, i keep sticking with it and not giving up.  it has been so good for me and i have to say the accountability of regularly letting my readers know where i am in this challenge i committed to is so good for me to keep on going.

i am hoping... to have a great time connecting with my husband tonight!  yesterday was his birthday, but we were so busy that we decided to celebrate today instead.

i am hearing... the sounds of a busy home with four busy little boys getting ready for the day.

around the house... let's talk my veggie garden:  my garden is coming along nicely.  i did have a few of my little seedlings die, but it seems that more is making it than isn't, which is a great thing.  i am still a pretty novice gardener. i am trying to grow: tomatoes, potatoes, crookneck squash, zucchini, cantaloupe, bell peppers,  jalapeños, cucumbers, carrots, eggplant, kale, bunching green onions, mint, basil, thyme, strawberries, blackberries, sunflowers, and various other bee attracting flowers.  did i get it all?  i am hoping to have a great harvest this year. 

  
one of my favorite things... is crossing things off a list.  i must admit that i frequently lose the lists i make, but when i don't... i find immense pleasure in crossing things off of it.

pondering... how amazing God was to bring my wonderful husband bill scofield into my life.  it was a pretty amazing story.  maybe i should blog on it someday?  he has been such a blessing to my life.  my very best friend.  the way God brought our paths to cross is truly amazing. 

a few plans for the rest of the week: we have a big birthday bash for our 3 oldest of our 4 boys this weekend.  their birthdays are not in may, but i told them if they would wait to celebrate their birthdays until we could have an outside party, i would let them invite any friends they wanted to invite.  so... i made my month of may even busier than it already is!  it is fun though.

picture for the day:

two years ago my dear sister-in-love did a photo shoot in the lovely month of may of me and my dear beloved. (don't you just love my purple hair? i had to do something bold for my 30th birthday.) in honor of his birthday yesterday, i wanted to post a picture of us together.  can't you tell we like each other an awful lot?!

i am linked up with other lovely ladies at the simple woman's daybook.  

charis

how to grow in a life of prayer

photo credit - stock.xchng by eyebiz

 

if there is one thing that the modern day church needs more than anything else, it is a spirit of prayer.  however, little actual value is placed on prayer in both our personal and corporate lives.


the subject of prayer

in a recent post, i asked you my readers for feedback on what you want to hear more about on this blog.  one specific request that struck me deeply was a request to read more about prayer. 

my husband and i are in full time ministry doing just that - prayer.  we oversee the building of a house of prayer community in redding, california, and much of our time and energy is both in the place of prayer and encouraging other believers to grow in their own prayer lives.  we gather believers to corporate worship and prayer times to join our hearts in encountering the living God and to partner with Him in His purposes for the earth. 


prayer as the foundation

prayer was deep in the foundation of the early church.  their gatherings were centered around prayer as opposed to ours where we spend very little time in our corporate gathering actually praying.  why do you think that is?  i believe it is pretty simple.  we do not know the transforming power of a life of prayer.  we do not realize the communion with the Lord we are offered to live from when we partner our hearts with the One who is called the Great Intercessor.  we instead regard prayer as boring, token, and as a last resort.  (ever heard it said, well i guess all we can do now is pray...)


time in the Word stirs our hearts to pray

although i have given my life to this thing called prayer, i feel as if there is so much i have to learn!  i am always hungry and open to teachings and advice on how to deepen my own life in prayer.  i recently heard a good friend teaching in a sunday school class on prayer say something i have been thinking about for the past couple days.  he said that we do not have a hunger to pray because we do not spend time in the Word.  if we were in the Word more, it would stir our hearts to pray. 

wow. 

so, it seems that the lack of prayer in the church and in our own personal lives could actually be a reflection of the fact that we do not actually spend much time in the Word.  do i want to stir a deeper hunger to spend time with the Lord in prayer?  then i need to make sure i am daily reading and meditating on His Word - the Bible.  am i feeling unmotivated and unmoved in talking to the Lord in prayer?  how has my time in the Word been the last couples days, weeks, or (gasp) months? 

in thinking about my own experience with developing both a prayer life and a life in the Word i can pinpoint some specific ups and downs in both.  i can see a pattern for myself of times i have been too busy to really read the Bible and then feeling disconnected in prayer and times when i have pressed in to read the Word (even in the small seemingly insignificant moments) and feeling my heart drawn to talk to the Lord.  though it may not be a perfect rule, i believe my friend is right in that they are very closely tied.



adding myself to my own prayer list

for me, one of the greatest gifts of revelation i have had in the past year or so is that it is legal to pray for myself.  i have always had a prayer list of people and issues that i pray for and then i also just use my prayer times to "vent" to the Lord instead of to men (i got this from studying the life of david and saw it to be a powerful part of his life).  i hadn't occurred to me to use a portion of my personal prayer time to just pray, "God, give me a Spirit of prayer.  give me a desire to pray.  please give me the grace to follow You and desire You and spend time with You."  this sounded totally crazy to me, and yet it is totally a legal prayer.  king david would often pray for himself in the psalms.  Jesus said that the Father would give the Holy Spirit to all who asked Him (luke 11:13).  we can totally ask for the Holy Spirit to strengthen our prayer lives and He will!  this has been such fuel for me! the times when i come to the Lord and feel so untouched and unmotivated to be there, i now simply ask that He would send the Holy Spirit to stir me to desire to pray.  so simple and yet it works.



prayer exposes our own weakness

another thing that i have learned over the past couple years of focusing on growing in prayer and building up the house of prayer in redding is how weak i often feel.  my initial thoughts were that a life of prayer would make me feel like i was on top of the world, but that isn't exactly how it works.  it isn't meant to work that way.  there are so many places in Scripture that say that the Lord delights in those who know their own weakness and lean on Him.  He is near the broken and contrite in heart (ps 51:17).  in Jesus's first publicly recorded sermon He begun by saying, "happy are the poor in spirit..."  the Lord values our recognition of our own weakness and this is a purposeful byproduct of a life in prayer.  when we are weak, He becomes strong in our lives.

i was reading the other night and i felt so much Holy Spirit confirmation in a writing of bill johnson's about his early days of developing a life of prayer.  i would paraphrase, but basically do it no justice, so i will quote it here.  bill johnson wrote in center of the universe:

i thought that i would discover a source of real power through prayer.  instead i found weakness - mine.  it seemed that with more prayer i would rise to a place of powerful ministry.  instead, i am filled with an awareness of inability to handle power.  my eyes have turned from my grand future to a grace-filled present.  i'm not disappointed, just surprised.

i figured that with more prayer i would become pure and holy.  it seems that instead, i have become aware of my impurity.  when i thought that my heart would jump at the chance to be holy, i found it to be coarse and vain.  i do sense a change happening in me, but i realize now that it's not as much from my heart as it is from His.  i'm not disappointed, just surprised.

more prayer appeared to be the key to the miraculous.  certainly if i pray more there will be more miracles happening through my life.  it's true that i see more miracles.  but so far it's not that they have increased as much as i see my world differently.  i'm not disappointed, just surprised.

with more prayer, i would discover the "riches of Christ," right?  my first discovery was my spiritual poverty.  as for His riches, they fill my heart only as i see my need. i'm not disappointed, just surprised.

if there was one thing that i knew for sure, it was that more prayer brought more answers.  my shock came when i realized that i don't have more as much as i have different answers.  i'm not disappointed, just surprised.

this is where i have been myself.  i have discovered in a life of prayer much surprise about both myself and God.  but i am not disappointed.  this is the life we are called to as believers.  we are called to be joined to Him in prayer and truly discover what it means to know Him and live leaning into Him.

i encourage you to take some time today to go to that place of prayer to encounter His heart.  has it been a while?  does your heart feel cold?  ask Him to give you the grace to pray.  ask Him to give you the Holy Spirit to strength and encourage you to pray.  He will give to all who ask.


your thoughts

what is one thing you have discovered in pursuing a life of prayer?  what is one obstacle you have faced in trying to develop your own prayer life?  i would love for you to add your thoughts in the comments below.


charis

simple woman's daybook 4.20.11

 

for today:

outside my window... drizzly rain, light gray clouds, and everywhere green!

i am thinking... about making sure what is really important is kept as really important.  this is not easy for me.

i am thankful... that the Lord loves me unconditionally.  so often i feel as if i should have to earn His love and so often i fall short. 

remembering... that it will never all get done.  there will always be more to do or things that i didn't get to.  my idealistic expectations are not reality.

from the learning rooms... i am reading library books trying to learn quickly more about gardening and how in the world to raise chickens.  and then i get to learn from the doing of it as well.

from the kitchen... we have been eating a lot of lentils and rice, and beans and homemade tortillas and produce.  it is a good thing we like beans, lentils, and rice because they are affordable.  and i just can't give up fresh produce.  being a vegetarian for 8 years definitely had its lasting effects on me.  however, i will be glad when we buy some meat because it has been sounding really good lately.
 

i am wearing... jeans (my staple) and a long sleeve light weight sand colored shirt.  bare feet.  cherry red toe nails.  wet hair.  no makeup.

i am creating... gifts.  i am experimenting... trying to be creative with what i have here to give.  i am hoping it all turns out!

i am going... to keep pressing into learning how to love the Lord.  to be honest, i don't always have the warm fuzzy feelings.  how i wish to have those feelings!  i love them.  i don't always feel full of faith and conviction of the realness of God and following Jesus.  i know that i can't rely on always having feelings.  some days it just makes more sense than other days.  some times i am more engaged than others.  but i press on.  i keep going.  and when i fall down, i get back up and pursue this life of knowing God and being a christian mom, and faithful wife, a lover of Jesus, and a member of our house of prayer.  and i pray for myself - that He would give me the grace to love Him, the grace to pray, the grace for it all to make sense on the days it just doesn't make sense.

i am reading... just finished the book of jeremiah in my Bible reading challenge.  i had a harder time staying focused during this book.  i am realizing, once again, that i am in such need of the Holy Spirit opening my eyes and ears and heart to actually receive revelation from the Word.  it isn't enough to just read it!  we need grace to receive it.

i am hoping... that i really get a chance to connect with the Lord about this important week - the passion of Christ!  i still feel disconnected from the fact that right now we are celebrating the greatest gift ever given to us.  i want that heart connect.  i want to be able to connect my four boys to this wonderful week and have it come alive for them and for them to get it.  sure, we do an egg hunt and they get special candy on sunday... but that is so not what it is about.  it is about His death and resurrection.  i want to experience this for myself and my family.

i am hearing... the blessed sounds of the prayer room right now.  what a blessing to be able to turn it on at any time of day and just allow the tenderness of the Holy Spirit to minister to my weary heart.

around the house... let's not even talk about around the house.  all my plans of getting stuff organized and cleaned out just haven't happened like i hoped.  the backyard is the main project right now and is taking way longer than we thought it would, and a lot more money too.  it will be so good when it is done and the inside can get some attention. 

  
one of my favorite things... is a sleeping baby.  i don't know why, i mean i love awake babies, but there is nothing like a sleeping baby.

pondering... an obedient people are magnetic to the watching world. j. alec motyer

a few plans for the rest of the week: easter is on sunday and we will be spending time with my family.  otherwise, not a very eventful week from here on out.  i like that.  the first half of the week was busy enough for the whole thing.

picture for the day:

what do you think?  a new hat on my etsy store.  the flower is removable so that this can be a gift for a baby shower for the "surprise" baby.  it can be a girl newborn hat or a boy newborn hat!

here is where i am linked up for the simple woman's daybook.  

charis

He who owes me nothing gives me everything

i sit this morning writing as i smell the banana bread for breakfast baking in the oven.  i can hear the soothing sound of chicks peeping in their box in the kitchen.  i look over to my left and see trays of seedings in newspaper pots reaching for light in the window.  a basket of clean towels is waiting to be folded at my feet.  i think about my hard working husband who working his tail off readying our yard to be just a little more self-sufficient this year. 

i am blessed beyond measure.  i am reminded that if we have eyes to see His activity in our lives, we will overflow with thanksgiving.  i want to overflow with thanksgiving in my life.  i want to be one with eyes as a child that look on life with wonder.  i want to overflow with joy. 

i remember that even with all He gives me in this life, nothing compares with the forgiveness of sin and the promise of the curse of death being forever removed.  what will it be like to be raised up and live forever?  what little tastes of this promise does He give me right now to anchor my hope in His return? 

He who owes me nothing gives me everything.

when i realize that it is not God who is in my debt but i who am in His great debt, 
then doesn't all become gift?  ann voscamp

 

every gift He gives now is either a taste of what is to come or a tool to prepare me for then... the day when i will see Him face to face.

72-87:

72. two grocery bags of hand-picked grapefruits from a friend.

73. blue sky accented with fluffy white clouds.

74. the whine of a violin playing the melody of my heart.

75. receiving a word from the Lord through my 7 year old.

76. the opportunity to serve by leading others into His presence in worship.

77. the soft peeping of baby chicks in my kitchen.

78. a candle lit date night in with the kids over at their nonnie and pa's house.

79. aebleskivers and coffee for breakfast.

80. rediscovering parts of myself that had been dormant for the past 10 years.

81. pain receptacles in my hand that tell me to let go of the handle of the cast iron skillet that is burning me.

82. salsa from chevy's.

83. listening to my husband teach the Word.

84. treasures from second-hand stores.

85. still ponds with fresh green grasses and reeds growing up around them and filled with ducks and geese.

86. the clear clean breath after using a neti pot.

87. the promise that He will raise up our bodies to live forever.

i am linked up at a holy experience.  let me know in a comment below that you are taking part and i will visit your blog.

what are you thankful for today?

charis

simple woman's daybook 4.6.11

 

for today:

outside my window... it is another beautiful spring day.  not too hot.  not too cold.  i wish weather like this lasted around here.

i am thinking... about a series of posts i am working on about how to study the book of isaiah.  i think i will post the first of the three part series later this week!  be looking for it.

i am thankful... for the colors of spring popping up all over!  i love the beauty of flowers!  too bad they make me sniffle.  they add so much life to everywhere i look.

remembering... that everything will get done in time.  i need to be patient with myself and with others.  there isn't a rush to life.  when i rush, i miss enjoying the process and the journey.   

from the learning rooms... i am learning how to knit in the round on circular needles.  it is taking me forever,  but it is looking so good!  i love learning!

from the kitchen... i am making homemade peanut butter as we speak!  easy recipe: salted roasted peanuts in a food processor... and there you have it!  peanut butter.
 

i am wearing... jean shorts, brown leather sandles, a grey t-shirt with a vintage gold and grey sweater on top.  how is that for california dressing?!

i am creating... my first knit hat on circular needles.  i will try to post a picture when i finish.  it may end up on my etsy store or maybe it will be a gift.  we will see...

i am going... on a date with the love of my life tonight!  where or what?  i have no idea, but i will have good company.

i am reading... just finished the book of isaiah in my Bible reading challenge.  as i said, i am working on a 3 part series of blog posts about the book of isaiah!  you will not want to miss them.

i am hoping... the nice weather stays.

 

i am hearing... my middle two sons singing worship songs to Jesus in the other room at the top of their lungs.  what could bring a smile to my face faster than hearing them sing to their Savior?!

around the house... we are working, working, working on the backyard demo.  and by we, i mean bill.  not me.  did i mention that now we have more room he talked me into getting chickens? um, yeah.  now i am researching raising backyard chickens like a mad woman.  we will be our own little supermarket before long... garden, check. chickens, check.  what next?  

  
one of my favorite things... mangos.  i believe they are sweet nectar from heaven.

pondering... what does it mean to be sincere and blameless until the day of Christ?  why would the apostle paul pray this for those who already believed?  i don't really get it, so i ponder and ask the Holy Spirit to teach me.

a few plans for the rest of the week: date night, back yard demo, soccer, night and day prayer sunday school... and of course hanging with the 4 coolest boys in the world.

picture for the day:

peanut butter in process as i type away on this blog post.

peanut butter finished!  whew, that was easy!

here is where i am linked up for the simple woman's daybook.  

charis