6 tips for developing a life in God as a couple

photo by myriah grubbs

couples who pray together, stay together.

sounds so cliche right? seems like two people who both love the Lord would naturally love the Lord together. so, why is it just so hard sometimes?!

before i got married and met my husband i had this list of all the things i hoped to find in the man i was going to marry. one of the things was i wanted a man who prayed; i mean really truly had a prayer life with God.

fast forward a few years and i met just the right guy. he led worship. he had a heart for missions. he had a deep life of prayer with the Lord. he was funny. he was hopelessly in love with me. the only problem was our personal lives with God did not mesh into a "couple's" life with God.

i remember a few tense moments early on in our engagement and newlywed days when we tried to do this stuff together. one was a night when we tried to co-write a song for his brother's wedding. it seemed easy right? we were both musicians, were in love with each other, and had the assignment of writing a love song for a wedding.

it became a huge fight.

we both had different styles when it came to writing music. i remember sitting there on the floor of my bedroom feeling like he was a complete stranger, just because he didn't write songs the way i was used to writing. instead of drawing us together, the experience of sharing a passion and then not connecting in the middle of it drove us apart.

the same dynamic followed us into our time with the Lord. 

before getting married i had these visions, call me idealistic, of spending time pouring over the Bible with my husband. i envisioned prayer together where our hearts connected powerfully with God and with each other. i imagined ministering together (we did meet each other on a missions trip) and sharing this passion of living a life following Jesus and it just blending together so seamlessly.

well, it just didn't go so seamlessly.

we tried to pray together a few times and it was a complete train wreck. i felt he was too quiet. he felt i was pressuring him to relate to God the way i related to God. i felt like he didn't want to include me in his life with the Lord. i think he felt crowded and wished i would just do my time with the Lord by myself.

instead of drawing our hearts closer together, spending time with God together made us feel distant and misunderstood by each other. this was just not the way i had envisioned it going.

since then i have found out that our story is far from unique. just like there are so many different ways of doing life that a man and woman bring to their marriage, there are different ways of doing a personal life with the Lord that they bring as well.

people pray differently. this may not be news to you, but it took years of marriage for me to realize that it was okay that bill and i related to the Lord in our devotional times differently. i did not need to change him, nor did i need to fix my way of doing it to match his... we just needed to push past the awkwardness and the offense of feeling misunderstood or undervalued and still spend time with God together.

now you may be a lucky couple that has always hit it off when you spend time with the Lord together. if you are not, then i want to encourage you that you are not alone nor is your life in God as a couple hopeless.

our connection with each other in the midst of attempting to connecting with God together has greatly improved, but it has taken time! we have successfully co-written songs. we have shared revelations the Lord has given us without ending up in a fight. we even co-lead a prayer ministry now as a full-time occupation. many times God brings together two very different ways of relating to Him to be complementary, not competitive or divisive. i can honestly say i have learned so much about God from being married to this man for 11 years, and he has told me many times the very same thing.

my husband's slightly different perspective, simply because he stands viewing God from a slightly different vantage point, has opened up a wider experience of the Lord that i would have never known if i had stayed single and undisturbed.

marriage can be one of the most exciting dynamic ways of encountering the Lord if we are willing to press through the awkwardness, step over the offense, and be open to the Lord speaking to us and through us in ways that may be new. allowing another person to be a part of a very intimate and personal relationship with God can be intimidating, yet bring so much more growth and depth!

here are six tips for developing a life with God together as a couple:

1. make a point to pray together every day. it may be at the dinner table. it may be lying in bed before going to sleep. it may be a devotional time in the morning. no matter how it looks, how long or how short, make time to pray and talk to the Lord together regularly.

2. if it is awkward, do not quit! i can't tell you how much it would have helped us early on if we had a couple that we respected tell us how hard this part of married life could be. listen, i am here to tell you it can be awkward; it might feel lifeless, it may even cause fights. but it is so worth it to purposefully pray together, spend time in the Word and worship together, and talk about your lives in God together.

3. do not just assume that your spouse has a vibrant life in God - ask. ask him what God is speaking to him. ask how you can be praying for him. (you are praying for your spouse, right?) ask where he has been reading in the Bible lately. share what you feel the Lord speaking to you, both the encouraging stuff and the struggles. in the midst of going through life, stop and pray for your husband. if it seems your spouse is struggling or distant from the Lord - pray for him. i know too many women who were surprised and devastated to find out their husband hadn't been walking actively with the Lord for years, and they had hoped that he was spending time with God on his own when he wasn't. it had somehow become an unspoken topic in the home. do not make the mistake of assuming that someone else is checking in on him or encouraging him in his relationship with Jesus. we can be the greatest encouragement and support to our spouse in both the good times and the hard times of walking with the Lord.

4. pray for your spouse. i know this is mostly about developing a spiritual life together, but if you are not praying for your spouse, you are depriving him of his greatest intercessor besides Jesus Himself. if you feel angry or hurt about something your spouse has done, it is the absolute best time to pray for him. is it strange that i have had to pray for my husband after a failed prayer time together where i felt misunderstood? failed prayer together sent me to pray for him and for us to grow in praying together. who do you desire your husband to be in the Lord? do you believe the Holy Spirit can really transform his heart to become that radical follower of Jesus? prayer is powerful. not only is it drawing a bull's eye on your spouse for the Lord's encounter, but it softens your heart towards him.

5. develop your own personal life in the Lord. we are to come together as married couples to strengthen and sharpen one another in the Lord, but we need time one on one with God in the secret place too. though one on one time with the Lord should not substitute for the life in God in the community aspect of marriage, time with the Lord as a married couple should not substitute for the one of one relationship with Jesus either. we need both. so. very. badly.

6. do not quit coming together to seek the Lord. the author of hebrews encouraged the early church to not stop meeting together to worship and pray, and i encourage you to not stop meeting together with your husband and the Lord. i have already said it so many times, it usually is awkward before it is really good (just like other areas of marriage), but it can get really really good. 

Jesus said that when two or more are gather in His name, He is there... coming together in prayer, worship, and studying the Word is so powerful. it is part of what makes marriage so sweet - sharing the deepest places of your heart that come alive in the presence of God with each other.

any stories you want to share about this area of marriage? how have you navigated, successfully or unsuccessfully, this area of relationship? do you have questions about where you and your spouse are right now in your relationship with God as a couple?

charis

think of it as an opportunity

word for the day:  opportunity

start.

what a friend we have in Jesus
all our sins and griefs to bear
what a privilege to carry
everything to God in prayer

o what peace we often forfeit
o what needless pain we bear
all because we do not carry
everything to God in prayer

crisis is opportunity.  it is opportunity to meet the Lord.

i have been asking the Lord to make Himself really real to me for the past year.  my heart has felt hard and cold, not because i do not want to feel His tenderness and love.  i have cried out and asked that He would please let me feel His nearness and that He would fill all my lacking places with faith and trust that makes up for all the lack.

i do not want to forfeit the peace that He offers.

i do not want to bear pain needlessly.

and so the question remains before me:  will i come to Him and bring it all to Him in prayer?

i have purposed that i must do this.  i must experience Him this year like never before.

so i set a timer on my phone, to go off every 10 minutes, that no matter where i am or what i am doing i would turn my attention to Him and give Him the worship He is due.

to remind me to give Him the thanks He is due.

to remind me to come to Him in prayer - about everything.

be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.  and the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things.  philippians 4:6-8

stop. 

if you want to join in, the instructions are below.



5 minute friday rules:
1. write for 5 minutes flat – no editing, no over thinking, no backtracking.
2. link back here and invite others to join in.
3. please visit the person who linked up before you & encourage them.

if you write a 5 minute friday, let me know -  i would love to visit your blog and read what comes spilling out when writing against the clock!  


charis

i am a runner

i am a runner. 

well, i think of myself as a runner.  i used to be a runner.  i haven't really been a runner for 7 years, but i still identify myself as a runner. 

there are many things in life that got in the way of my running - having babies, messed up knees that needed physical therapy, having babies, no sleep, hurting knees, having babies... 

you get the idea. 

yet i still think of myself as a runner because of the passion i have had for running in the past.

when i went to physical therapy last time (see how i have to make a distinction that this wasn't the only time), they told me to find another sport.  

how about swimming they suggested?  i love swimming in the lake, but doing laps?  i last maybe two lengths of the pool and then i am ready to move onto something else.   

how about the elliptical machine?  being stuck in a gym with no change of scenery did not entice me much either.  i am an outdoors kind of girl, looking for the wide open spaces and thriving off the feeling on my feet pounding on the hard uneven surfaces of the earth.  you know, they told me, it is the mommy/runners that keep us in business.

so, since my body needed to recondition to my beloved past-time in order to not be injured in the process, they gave me a gradual plan to start running again.  to give you a context of what i thought was "gradual", i had just restarted running after having my second son uriah right before i had to get all sorts of evaluations on my knees. my brother-in-law was running at the time, so i told him we would start with an easy two miles.  compared to my 3-4 times a week 6 miles a day in the past, this seemed like cake to me.  it was no angelfood cake to my knees.  i was in pain and limping and bewildered why this short distance could take such a toll on my body.

well come to find out, my physical therapists recommended i start out running 3 minutes a day, 3 times a week, increasing each week by no more than 10% in distance or time each week.  

you read that right.  3 lousy minutes. 

runners know that isn't even long enough to get muscles warmed up and in a rhythm.  they told me:  if you are insistent on staying a runner and not finding another sport, you have to be patient with your muscles to restrengthen and retrain to prevent further injury and the dreaded runner's knee surgery.

i see so much parallel in this whole situation with my prayer life with the Lord.  

many times i evaluate the present health of my life in God with what i have done in the past - i still think of myself as that person in the Lord that i once was.  we have all had mountain top experiences:  the 40 day fast in college that was the clearest time in life of hearing God;  the times of laying down all those other things to seek Him more and find His face; the times when the hunger for the Word of God was so great we read through every book of the Bible still wanting more. 

but, it can be a little shocking to get down to the details of what am i doing NOW?  how long has it been since i was that person and who is the person am i today?  am i willing to give up the passion and pursuit i once had that so many will just attribute to youthful zeal?  do i have the discipline and patience required to retrain my muscle in God and rebuild the intimacy of past days?

you see, i cannot survive off the manna from ten years ago. 

God told the israelites that He would give them enough manna - fresh "what is it" bread from Heaven  - for today.  if they stored up some in a bottle for tomorrow because they did really great collecting extra, the maggots would come and it would be destroyed. 

there was always more than enough, but the fresh encounter was always what was required.

being a full-time mommy, part-time manager of the world, keeps me rather busy.  but i have found that being a radical lover of God will take the same focus and determination it is taking to become a runner again.  regardless of our present situation, none of us get a free pass to eat old manna. 

even if i had an empty 4 hour un-distracted time slot to seek Him today, i may not have the motivation or the lack of boredom to seek Him that long and not feel sore, discouraged, and very aware of the hardness of my heart afterwards. 

but i do have the ability to build up my endurance and desire (muscles) day by day, starting even with what seems as worthless as minutes a day.

- i also always have the option of believing the few minutes will never get me anywhere, and  stay spiritually out of shape, living in the fantasy that i am in the spiritual state i was 10 years ago because i have a distant memory of the mountain top experience. -

this morning i ran for 12 minutes with no sore knees.  quite the accomplishment if you factor in the discouragement and temptations to quit on all of those 3 minute, 4 minute, and even 5 minute days that made me acutely aware that i am not where i once was.

i won't quit pursuing the knowledge of the One who set my heart ablaze. i am a runner.  i am a passionate lover of the One who saved my soul.  the awareness of my current brokeness and weakness only causes me to love Him more.

i must have the fresh manna for today.

taste and see that He is good.

*edited from the archives

still counting gifts to 1000...

787 - 798:

787. songs the Lord drops in my head in the morning to encourage me.

788. a clean minivan.

789. little projects on the house... step by step.

790. warm oat groats ready in the crockpot when we wake up.

791. more grace from the Lord when it all starts to feel like too much.

792. the minute a day i get to carve out to strengthen my spiritual muscles.

793. a 12 minute run that left my knees still feeling good!

794. the little hints that fall is coming - leaves just starting to change even with this triple digit weather.

795. slowly selling things... simplifying.

796. so many reasons to celebrate.

797. feast of tabernacles on saturday night - reminding me we are a sojourning people and to continually give Him thanks.

798. the joy of the Lord is my strength.


i am linked up at a holy experience.



if you haven't liked this facebook page, you can in the upper right of this post.  you can also follow this blog or subscribe in a reader.  i would love to keep in better touch with you! 

please leave a link to your list of gifts in the comments and i will come visit your blog as well!  i love to give thanks together.


charis

prayer simplified

 

photo credit

have you ever thought, "i don’t really know if i feel connected to God when I pray?"  if so, you are just like me (and probably the rest of the world if we are honest).

head over to 5 minutes for faith and join me as i share a bit about simplifying prayer.  it really doesn't have to be as complicated as we make it at times.

come and join me!

charis

one of those days

i am so exhausted!  it has been one of those days.  i am sure that you know exactly what i am talking about because we all have them.

i went nonstop for hours driving back and forth from thing to thing, knowing in the back of my mind that the house was a disaster at home and we had company coming over tonight.  i had grouchy little ones not making life any easier.  just when i would get a moment to hang up clean laundry something would come up - nursing, making lunch, grouchy 1 year old, the phone ringing, or time to go get in the car to drive to the next thing... oh my!

but i made it!  the day is almost over.

my frequent prayer today was: give me the grace to have the fruit of the Holy Spirit at work in my life today.  help me guard my tongue from grumbling and complaining.  (a few times i would start to complain out loud without thinking right in the middle of praying this - oops!)  i choose joy in the middle of this day because You gave me today as a gift.  thank you for allowing me to serve my family and help me choose joy instead of grumbling... 

i probably said that prayer, or a version of it, about 10 times throughout the day - every time i would start to feel my blood boil or my heart race.  self-control and patience were two fruits i was needing Him to grow in me today.  i am not afraid to pray for patience because i need it!

grumbling and complaining, the opposite of self-control and patience, have become all too natural for me as i go about my daily life and sometimes i need a roll of duct tape to just keep myself from sinning over and over again.  it always amazes me to think that an entire generation of israelites died in the wilderness and it was saved for the next generation to inherit the promised land because they couldn't keep their mouths in control.  Lord help me!

my allergies were such a mess today that it was easy to want to give myself the excuse that i could just be in a bad mood because i didn't feel well.  but if i can't be an overcomer today, how in the world will i be one in real tribulation and trials?!

so i choose joy and i choose to shut my mouth if joy isn't flowing so freely.

on an amazing note - the jeep was found!  i will have to tell you the story when i am not so exhausted, but i just have to say that God has my attention from all that happened with this whole situation.  even the way it was found baffles me.

whether He gives or takes away... blessed be His name.



still counting gifts to 1000...


673 - 682:

673. the jeep was found!

674. time with my husband's parents.

675. good company and talk time.

676. kids finally in bed and sleeping!

677. a better night sleep where i got into a deeper sleep than i have since hosea was born.

678. selling things on ebay and making room in the closets.

679. clean sheets.

680. our upcoming trip to ihop and to st. louis to see family!

681. surviving a busy exhausting day.

682. the prayer for patience will pay off.

i am linked up at a holy experience.

if you have a blog, let me know if you have a list of your grace gifts so i can visit!  if you don't, write something you are thankful for in the comment section.  i love hearing from you!

if you haven't liked this facebook page, you can in the upper right of this post.  i would love to keep in better touch with you!

charis

first things first

in the morning, o Lord, You will hear my voice; 
in the morning i will order my prayer to You and eagerly watch. psalm 5:3

often i spend my time with the Lord in the afternoon while the kids nap or in the evening after they are in bed.  but i have been memorizing psalms 5 with my family and i am reminded once again the value of meeting with the Lord, even if it isn't for a long extended period of time, first thing in the morning. 

first thing in the morning to talk with Him in prayer... 

first thing in the morning to greet Him with my voice...

first thing in the morning...

... and then watch for Him to be active in my life throughout the whole day.

- eager expectation of God to show Himself real to me, close to me, intimate with me -

i think king david knew what he was talking about.

 

i am linking up with barbie this week for fresh brewed sundays.

do you like this post?  consider subscribing to this blog and/or liking our facebook page to stay connected.

i would love to hear from you in the comments below!

charis

how to pray with boldness

we are in a series on growing in a life of prayer.  in the intro, i invited you to give feedback on what you want to grow in and learn about prayer.  one area i think we all could agree that we need to be encouraged in is how to have boldness and confidence when we pray.

did you know that you are supposed to have confidence when you talk to God?  it is true.  however so many times we don't come to Him boldly, but we come sheepishly and full of doubt and unbelief that He hears us or even cares.

this is the confidence which we have before Him, that, if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us. and if we know that He hears us in whatever we ask, we know that we have the requests which we have asked from Him. 1 john 5:14-15

i know that personally this has been an area that i have realized over the past year to be a real weakness.  as much as i desire to trust that He not only hears me but will answer, so often i find myself questioning if my time in prayer is fruitful.  i find myself wondering not only if God hears me, but if He cares about my needs and desires.  i even have found the question popping up in my head if He really is real, or if maybe i need to make things happen for myself.

what a confession, right?  prayer is what we do.  but the more i do prayer, the more i find out where my heart really is at and how much i need to grow in faith.

these are just a few ways i have found that help me approach a life of prayer with confidence that i am talking to a God who cares and who answers my prayers. 

1. pray according to the will of God

the apostle john said that we can have confidence when we pray if we ask according to His will.  so the natural question that follows would be, "what is the will of God?  how can i know what His will is for me?"

andrew murray has a great perspective on knowing the will of God.  he said,

the great mistake here is that God's children do not really believe that it is possible to know God's will.  or, if they believe this, they do not take the time and trouble to find it out.  what we need is to see clearly how the Father leads His waiting, teachable child to know that his petition is according to His will.  through God's holy Word - taken up and kept in the heart, the life, and the will - and through God's Holy Spirit accepted in His dwelling and leading we will learn to know that our petitions are according to His will. (added emphasis is mine)

i don't know about you, but i have struggled with exactly this.  i have had the accusation that i cannot know for certain if what i am praying is the will of God.  this is a lie from the enemy meant to discourage me from approaching the Lord and opening my heart to Him.  He speaks to us through both His Word and His Holy Spirit and we can know what His will is for us.  God is not trying to be mysterious and keep us guessing.  His desire is, and always has been, to draw near to us and make Himself and His will known. 

the problem for me, and probably for many of you, has always been i have not been willing to take the time to wait on Him to find out.  sometimes i am just impatient.  other times i am afraid of the answer.  regardless of the reason i find to not take the time, the problem is not that God is unwilling to reveal His will, but rather that i am unwilling to come to Him and wait.

2. check with both the Word and the Holy Spirit

sometimes the will of God is plainly stated in the scriptures.  one example of this is where the apostles prayed specific things over the churches they oversaw.

for this reason i too, having heard of the faith in the Lord Jesus which exists among you and your love for all the saints, do not cease giving thanks for you, while making mention of you in my prayers; that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of glory, may give to you a spirit of wisdom and of revelation in the knowledge of Him. i pray that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened, so that you will know what is the hope of His calling, what are the riches of the glory of His inheritance in the saints, and what is the surpassing greatness of His power toward us who believe.  ephesians 1:15-19

we know that what paul prayed for the new testament believers is also for us.  but what about situations we are going through that aren't clearly addressed in the bible?

God gave us His Holy Spirit.  the purpose of the Holy Spirit is to remind us of the words of Jesus and to teach us about Him.  He will never contradict the spirit of the Word, so we can be confident to follow His leading and check it against the Word to find confirmation with the nature and revelation of God.  Jesus is the perfect revelation of the nature of the Father and the Holy Spirit is the One who teaches us about Jesus.  in using both the written Word and the Spirit of God, we can know if our prayers are in alignment with the will of God.

3. perseverance in prayer when the answer doesn't come quickly

there are times when the answer to our prayers comes quickly.  i remember one time when my husband and i prayed for provision and a few minutes later an unexpected check arrived in our mailbox.  the crazy thing was that the person who sent the check obviously mailed in a few days earlier, not knowing our need.  but the Lord allowed us to cry out to Him and be wowed by His quick provision showing up moments after our prayer!

these quick answers are always so encouraging to our hearts, but many times in our prayer lives the answers do not come quickly.  many times in prayer we have to learn to use the muscle of perseverance.  perseverance involves pain and i think many of us give up too quickly because we don't like the pain that our struggle with perseverance exposes in our hearts.  i think that as americans, especially, we are a "fast food" generation and we don't like to have to wait or endure to get the answer.  james, the brother of Jesus, encouraged believers:

consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. and let endurance have its perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing. but if any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all generously and without reproach, and it will be given to him. james 1:2-5

endurance.  perseverance.  such huge words that have so much meaning to our prayer lives.

did you know that God gives us permission to ask Him for the grace to persevere in prayer when we are weary?  He longs to strengthen us when we are weak.

in luke 11 the disciples asked Jesus to teach them how to pray.  He told a story about man who gets what he wants from his neighbor because he was plain annoying in his perseverance.  He then spoke of His own Father's desire to give the Holy Spirit to us (not just because we are annoying Him).

then He said to them, "suppose one of you has a friend, and goes to him at midnight and says to him, 'friend, lend me three loaves; for a friend of mine has come to me from a journey, and i have nothing to set before him'; and from inside he answers and says, 'do not bother me; the door has already been shut and my children and i are in bed; i cannot get up and give you anything.' i tell you, even though he will not get up and give him anything because he is his friend, yet because of his persistence he will get up and give him as much as he needs. 

so i say to you, ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you.  for everyone who asks, receives; and he who seeks, finds; and to him who knocks, it will be opened. 

now suppose one of you fathers is asked by his son for a fish; he will not give him a snake instead of a fish, will he?  or if he is asked for an egg, he will not give him a scorpion, will he?  if you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask Him?"  luke 11:5-13

i have heard that a better translation of the greek in this passage is to say: ask and keep on asking, seek and keep on seeking, knock and keep on knocking.  He wants us to not give up.  He desires for us to wait upon Him as long as it takes to get the answer.

4. give thanks for the ways He has answered in the past

it always encourages me to have confidence in prayer to remember the ways He has answered in the past.  it helps to write these answers to prayer down so that when we are discouraged in our prayer lives we can go back and recall all that He has done for us and that He really does hear and care. 

in the old testament the israelites had remembrance stones that they would set up to remind them of the battles the Lord won for them.  even the celebration of passover every year was meant to remind them of the Lord's care for them and mighty deliverance lest they forgot and started following after false gods.  they were commanded to regularly recall all the Lord had done for them and to tell their children all the Lord had done.  we really do need to do the exact same thing so we do not grow weary in our own faith.

what has He done for you in the past?  how has He answered your prayers in ways that surprised and excited you?  start talking about it and thinking about it and i assure you it will give you the courage to approach Him again and expect Him to answer.

in closing, i wanted to share with you a beautiful illustration of the purpose of the prayer of faith in the life of a believer:

our prayer is like pipes, through which water is carried from a large mountain stream to a town some distance away.  such water pipes don't make the water willing to flow down the hills, nor do they give it its power of blessing and refreshment.  this is its very nature.  all they do is to determine its direction.

in the same way, the very nature of God is to love and to bless.  His love longs to come down to us with its quickening and refreshing streams.  but He has left it to prayer to say where the blessing is channeled.  He has committed it to His believing people to bring the living water to the desert places.  the will of God to bless is dependent upon the will of man to say where the blessing goes. andrew murray

you can boldly approach God in prayer.  you can have confidence that He both hears you and cares for you.  you can have boldness to expect an answer and the grace to wait until the answer comes. 

friends, let us pray and not grow weary.  He really does want to answer our prayers and He is a good Father. 


charis

starting a new series on prayer!

i am starting a series on prayer.  i find in the normal christian life prayer seems to be a bit mysterious and intimidating to a lot of people.  though i am by no means an expert on prayer, i have devoted the past 3 years to being a full time intercessory missionary (that means someone who in devoted to growing in prayer and growing a community in prayer as a full time vocation and lives off missionary support) and the past 14 years purposefully learning and challenging myself to grow in a life of prayer.

i asked on our facebook page what areas of your prayer life you would like to be encouraged in and there were great responses.  i also already had a few areas on my heart i wanted to share with you.  hopefully this will be a very encouraging series for you and all this talking about prayer will encourage all of us to really pray!

i have written a couple posts devoted to growing in prayer in the past and i encourage you to check them out if you haven't read them yet.

why do we pray? 
a heart that is alive
more than just a good ole "Lord, bless them."
it counts big time
how to grow in a life of prayer
even them?  you have got to be kidding me.

i also would love you to share in the comments below some questions or hurdles you have faced in your own prayer life.  hopefully we can dig into an area that will encourage you as we take this journey together in learning how to pray.

charis

randomness

we were having fun at a wedding

doesn't it feel like it is time for a random list of thoughts again?  i thought so.  here are some random things on my mind at this very moment.

my sweet thumb sucker - i was a thumb sucker too

1. it is one of those grey days outside.  it is ok though because we are battling colds around here.  i even got this one!  oh my.  pumping up on citrus and all the good for you stuff to get this out of the house and all of our systems before the new baby comes.   about 3.5 weeks left til the due date, but my babies have ranged between 2 weeks early and 1 day late, so we will see when this new little guy decides to make his arrival.

2. i have always been pregnant with a family member.  (crazy, right?)  my incredibly talented sister-in-law (her work is featured on my blog a ton!) is due only 2 days before me with her 3rd kid - 1st girl!  i have feverishly been trying to get stuff ready for her baby shower this weekend.  i am so excited for her!  i can't wait to meet my new little niece (#13!!).  i am making the popular salad that i blogged about last week at barbie's for the shower - mmmmm good!

3. simeon and this new little guy will be my closest two kids in age.  my first three had due dates within 4 days (guess we are fertile a certain time of year every other year??), and ended up having birthdays within 2 weeks of each other exactly 2 years apart.  then we had a 2.5 year gap between david and simeon which was amazing - who knew how much a difference just 6 months makes in the maturity of a 2 year old!  now this will be our closest two right after our furthest two... simeon is just 20 months and the baby literally could come at any time.  so, they will be around 20-21 months apart and it feels so much closer.  i really don't think simeon has a clue that a new baby is coming.  i am soaking in the last days and weeks of him being my littlest baby.  i told the family i am still calling him my big baby.  baby doesn't end til around 2, in my opinion.

4. prayer request: i would appreciate prayer for two things about this baby's arrival. 

1. we need to settle on the right name.  i feel like the Lord guided us so much with our 1st 4 boys' names and i am really wanting the perfect confirmation for this baby's name as well.  we have ideas we like, nothing we have agreed on, but also haven't had the confirmation my heart needs yet.  
2. i would like prayer this baby would arrive at the perfect timing.  my midwife missed my birth with simeon and i would really like to have her deliver this time around.  she brings so much peace with her and makes me feel very safe.  i also would like all of us well before the new little guy arrives - i have done sickness in the house with a newborn and it is no fun!

5. i made beet sourdough pancakes this late morning.  sounds gross?  oh, my friends, it is soooo not gross!  amazing is more the word i am looking for.  you should definitely check out the recipe at my friend katie's blog.  (check out some of her other recipes while you are at it - she has great ideas that are healthy and yummy at the same time!)

 36 weeks pregnant!

still counting gifts to 1000...

571 - 583:

571. listening to john thurlow play my heart's cry on the piano keys.

572. fresh flowers in vases in my living room.

573. replacement parts for my broken rocking chair are ordered...and will be here before the baby is born!

574. found the perfect yarn for the new baby's blanket.

575. learning to knit something new and turning frustration moments into learning opportunities.

576. borrowed bradley books to brush up before labor.

577. my sister's homemade tiramisu.

578. herbs and herbal teas to prep my body for the big day.

579. thoughts of possible names swirling in my head... knowing the Lord will show us the right one.

580. pink pancakes.

581. a beaming bride walking down the aisle.

582. dancing with my 4 boys on the dance floor - watching childlike abandon.

583. soaking up the days left of simeon being my youngest.

i am linked up at a holy experience.

if you have a blog, let me know if you have a list of your grace gifts so i can visit!  if you don't, write something you are thankful for in the comment section.  i love hearing from you!

charis

6 keys to dealing with emotional funks

image by mee lin woon

i was asked a couple weeks ago by one of the members of the facebook page for this blog if i could write a bit about how to deal with emotional funks (and even specifically hormonal emotional funks).

i think this is a great question and it has had me thinking for the past couple weeks and even gathering insight from others in our at the gate called beautiful community.  how as christian women are we to deal with the very real emotional swings in life, in the month, or even in the day? (this could apply to men too!  i know women are not the only ones that struggle with emotions).

1. worship.  it has to be my number one go-to fix for broken emotions.  remember, emotions are not good or bad, but they are an indicator of the health of your heart.  if your heart isn't doing well, chances are the emotions are going to give you little warnings so that you can do something about it.  (kinda like pain giving indications of something wrong in the body).

a bird doesn't sing because he has an answer.  he sings because he has a song. unknown

i happen to be a worship leader and a musician, so the most natural place for me to worship is at my upright piano in my living room.  my favorite times to worship are the few times i can get where no one is around to hear me, especially when i am very broken emotionally.  with a husband and 4 little ones, sometimes i have to stay up extra late at night to make this work.

i find crying out to the Lord in the form of song to be one of the most pleasurable experiences of life.  it doesn't matter what funk or pit i come to Him in, my vision is always realigned to gazing on the beauty of Him.  every time i gaze on Him i cannot help but be changed.

but we all, with unveiled face, beholding as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory, just as by the Spirit of the Lord. 2 corinthians 3:18

every time. 

nothing changes in my circumstances.  everything shifts on the inside and the raging emotions, the surging hormones, just seem to melt - often into a puddle of tears.  (one of the reasons i love to do this specific type of worship time alone).  i cannot tell you how many tears have fallen on the broken keys of my 1900 upright baldwin piano.  i cannot tell you how many times my voice has cracked and gone off key as i could barely get out the words of a simple chorus.  i cannot tell you how many times i felt Him, really felt Him, meet me in the midst of whatever it is i was feeling so strongly and bring me peace.

you might not be a musician.  that is okay.  you can crank up your favorite Jesus culture you tube video or blast your favorite worship album in the car or on your ipod.  you don't have to sing well to worship well.  worship is the heart posture that says,

 i will love You no matter what is going on in life.  i will lift you high and say that You are good.  i will believe the truth and not my emotions because You are the Way, the Truth, and the Life.

dance.  sometimes this is the only way to break free from the emotional chains - stomp them down and look like a fool.  i seem to remember a very famous king who did this very thing and God said he was a man after His own heart.     (2 samuel 6:14)

2. cry out to the Lord.  one of the gals on our facebook conversation said she sometimes just prays, "help me, please, please, help me!"  i cannot tell you how many many times this has been my exact prayer.  did you know it is legal to pray for yourself?  it totally is legal! 

when we ask the Father to send the Holy Spirit to help us, He always does.  always.  (you can stand on that one.)  our prayers don't have to be fancy or long or even coming from a place of knowing exactly what it is that we are needing.  just asking Him to help is enough.

if you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask Him? luke 11:13

3. tell your emotions to stop all their noise!

why are you downcast, o my soul? why so disturbed within me? put your hope in God, for i will yet praise him, my Savior and my God. psalm 42:5, psalm 42:11, psalm 43:5

emotions = soul.  we can speak to our emotions and tell them to get into order.  king david did this all the time.  emotions are great indicators and lousy leaders.  do not let them lead you.  tell them to follow what you choose to do.

He isn't surprised by the raw ugly state of our emotions - He chose to love us with full disclosure of our brokenness.  we can come to Him and hope in Him, no matter how ugly our emotions may look at the current moment.

4. let the small things really be the small things and focus on what really matters.  it really is simple but feels like a hard thing to do.  if the laundry is piled up, there are tons of errands to run, bills unpaid, calls to make... remind yourself, what really matters in eternity?  for one day, or for even a couple hours in one day, you can let these things that seem so important wait.  take the time to get your heart aligned and these mountains will shrink in their size.  everything does not have to get done right now and you probably won't do a great job at doing them in your current emotional state anyways.

5. ask for prayer.  let yourself be vulnerable with other women (or your husband even!) in the body of Christ.  we are here to be a support for each other.  although it is so hard and humbling to admit our weakness and admit we don't have it all together all of the time, it is so amazing to have someone pray for you.  if you can, have them pray with you right then and there.  i have ended up in a mess of tears and felt the heaviness lift when i have taken the step to do this with women i know.

we think people are judging us for not having it all together.  they usually aren't.  actually showing our weakness and asking for help can encourage someone else who also has bad days.  you can give another woman the courage to ask for prayer when she needs it if you step out first yourself.

6. eat right and sleep well.  this simple reminder can make a world of difference.  when emotions are crazy, it is so tempting to splurge on all sorts of things that won't really make us feel better.  take time to take a nap.  take a walk.  drink some calming herbal tea.  eat something nourishing to your body.  take care of these little things and it will help you focus on the big things.

in what ways do you deal with emotional or hormonal funks?  

what have you found to help pull you out of the pit?

charis

still waters

in whirlwind days like today, i am reminded to slow down!  it doesn't mean i can necessarily stop the activity before me and all around me, but i do want to choose thankfulness instead of dread and stress about what lies ahead. 

this river, the river i live by, always seems to remind me of peace and stillness.

be still and know i am God. psalm 46:10

some translations say cease striving.  wow, is that ever talking to me when things get busy.  have you found yourself striving lately with all that must be done like me?

somehow there is a way to be still while still being active... while still moving and going somewhere, but keeping the peace that is a fruit of a life anchored in trusting God.

so i am asking tonight,

Lord, You be my Good Shepherd.

                            make me lacking in nothing.

                                                         teach me to rest in green pastures.

                                                                            lead me beside the still waters.

restore my weary soul.

                  guide me in Your paths of righteous for the sake of Your name.

    and when i walk through a valley that has the threat of death
                                                                           
                                                                               help me not be afraid.
                 
                                                                                           Lord, be with me.

guide me with Your discipline.

                comfort me with Your leadership.

                       prepare a feast for me in the presence of those who hate me.

anoint me with Your oil.

                           make my cup overflowing.

             may Your goodness,
                    
                        may Your lovingkindness,
                                     
                                     Your faithfulness,
                                              
                                             follow me for all the days You have set before me

      so i may dwell with You forever in the place where You dwell.

                                                                                                           amen.


still counting gifts to 1000...

410 - 430:

410. Jesus' words, "so do not be afraid, you are worth more than many sparrows."

411. that with God, all things are possible.

412. warmth on a cold day.

413. unexpected provision... yet again, at exactly the right timing.

414. that the glucose test is now behind me... hoping for a good report.

415. reignited love for favorite old hymns.

416. the hope in the old hymns anchored in when we finally see Jesus face to face and not in the present time we live in.

417. a helpful husband when i have had so much to do and so little energy to do it.

418. a meal in the freezer to pull out for a no hassle dinner.

419. much needed rain that is falling.

420. teething tablets for the little guy who has been cutting 8 teeth nonstop for about a month now.

421. newman's peppermints.

422. sunshine break in the middle of rainy days.

423. grace to do what needs to be done.

424. a good report on my glucose tolerance test.

425. the upcoming blitz of birthdays in our family.

426. meal planning and the headache of "what's for dinner" that it eases.

427. the hope of His return and wrong things being made right.

428. naptime.

429. my flax seed heatable wrap to ease back pain.

430. my cute uriah who is going to sing "somewhere out there" with his cousin in his school talent show... mouse ears and all.


i am linked up at a holy experience. i would love to hear from you in the comments below!

charis

even them? you have got to be kidding me.

 my view as i am writing this blog post... quiet in the house right now.

you have heard that it was said, 'an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth.  but I say to you, do not resist an evil person; but whoever slaps you on your right cheek, turn the other to him also.  if anyone wants to sue you and take your shirt, let him have your coat also.  whoever forces you to go one mile, go with him two.  give to him who asks of you, and do not turn away from him who wants to borrow from you.  you have heard that it was said, 'you shall love your neighbor' and hate your enemy.  but I say to you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you,  so that you may be sons of your Father who is in heaven; for He causes His sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous.  for if you love those who love you, what reward do you have? do not even the tax collectors do the same?  if you greet only your brothers, what more are you doing than others? do not even the gentiles do the same?
therefore you are to be perfect, as your heavenly Father is perfect.   matthew 5:38-48

i have always thought the words of Jesus in the sermon on the mount (matthew 5-7) were particularly challenging.  these challenge me to the core if i take them literally.

do not resist an evil person.  if they hit you, abuse you, mistreat you, just let them do it again.  He couldn't be serious, right?  He wouldn't really be telling us to allow someone to cause us pain.

i have heard so many many people, unfortunately including those from pulpits, argue how this couldn't really be literal.  i have heard so many people say how it is okay, even godly, to defend ourselves and our rights.

the only problem with this is that Jesus didn't defend Himself or His rights.  He wasn't asking anything of His followers that He wasn't willing to live fully Himself.

just as challenging is the exhortation to love your enemies.  did you know that there is no where in the old testament that it says to hate your enemies?  it is almost humorous how many times i have heard it said that Jesus was correcting the old testament here.  no, it did say to love your neighbor and to treat them right, (He wasn't just adding the love your neighbor as yourself stuff to the 1st commandment... it was a commonly understood command of the Lord all through the law), but it never said to hate or mistreat an enemy.

yet, how many times do we just turn a blind eye to this exhortation of Jesus and justify our anger at our enemies?  we even call it righteous anger at times, trying to make it godly.

Jesus is right.  it is so easy for me to be kind to those who treat me well.  it is easy to give to those who appreciate what i give them.  it is easy to pray for a friend who has done so much to positively impact my life.

but the person who treats me like dirt and doesn't understand me, appreciate me, or sometimes even wounds me?  pray for them?  love them?

you mean the one who betrayed me?  the one who at my weakest moment rubbed salt in my wounds and didn't seem to care that my heart was broken and devastated... even them?  love them?  pray for them?

there is a reason there is a reward for this completely counter culture request.  many times throughout the different gospels Jesus says that if we receive our reward here, we forfeit it later.  if we fail to get the reward here, He will make sure of it we do get it on the Day of the Lord and then it will be forever.

we rarely get any rewards for allowing someone to hurt us again.  we rarely get any advice to lay down our lives for those who betray us, even from our friends who are believers.  our first instinct is definitely not to love those who cause us pain.  i know it isn't mine.

Jesus' teachings are so challenging and honestly most of us, even those of us who say we desire to follow Him, hate what He asks us to do.

but He never asked anything that He didn't do Himself.

when we spit on Him, He turned the other cheek.

when we told Him that He owed us something, He was gracious and gave freely and not begrudgingly.

when we hated Him for who He was and is and how much He made us realize our own darkness, He loved us anyways.

when we crucified Him, (because each one of us would have been in that crowd yelling 'crucify Him!' if we are really honest) He prayed to the Father asking Him to forgive us because we didn't really know what we were doing.

He could have called down fire from heaven and would have been fully justified, but He didn't.  our entire hope and salvation and life depends on the fact that He turned the other cheek, and we defend daily, sometimes every moment, why we are justified in our unforgiveness towards those who have done true wrong towards us.

if Jesus's words are literal and true, there is so much i must change about how i live and so much in my paradigm, in the paradigm of the entire Christian church, that needs to change.

seems so huge sometimes it is hard to know where to begin, huh.  well, when you stop reading this blog and someone mistreats you, the simple prayer for help to respond the way Jesus asks us to is a great start.

He gives us plenty of opportunities to practice this in our lives, over and over again.  i challenge you to ask for the grace to take what He said as true and then to walk it out.  we will mess up over and over again, but as i said, we will get so many opportunities to practice this with mistreatment... over and over again.

go, and be like your Father.

charis

linking up with barbie this week for fresh brewed sundays.

a list of random thoughts

1. i just love misty edwards devotional sets on the kansas city international house of prayer web-streaming archives.  most nights i have misty sing me to sleep.  even as i write this post i am listening to misty's most recent devotional set in hopes that she will sing my sleepy one year old to sleep right now.

2. i have been making dinners for my family again for about a week and a half.  this is something i am extremely proud of (silly, i know!) - it means i am starting to get some sort of energy and motivation back.  no worries, no super woman pregnant mama here! i still have piles of clean clothes everywhere, with piles of dirty laundry in-between, bills are still being paid late because i forget what day it is and what day they are due, my bedroom is still way too dusty to even believe i am confessing here to all the world, my minivan seems to be the bottomless pit (don't fall in, the junk may bury you alive)... but dinners are being made and my family is eating well again.

3. my little one sucks his thumb and i just love it.  it is one of my favorite things.  i sucked my thumb until i was almost 7 and, if truth be known, i would suck my thumb today if it were socially acceptable.  it is just that comforting.  (am i being a bit too real right now?)

4. i am reading this great devotional book called with Christ in the school of prayer by andrew murray.  it has 30 short chapters so i imagine most people could get through it in one short month.  i am taking my time, but am really enjoying it.  i feel like it is stretching my understanding of prayer and really encouraging me at the same time.  i have been talking to the Father about what i am reading and i feel like it will change the way i approach my conversations with God.

5. last year i did this awesome homemade gift christmas where almost everything i gave was made by me.  now, it was not every last gift, but almost and it was both cost effective and really fun.  this year my budget would need to do it again, but i have been having the hardest time getting much done.  someone told me a couple days ago that it was only 60 days left until christmas.  i have like 2 gifts made... of many many gifts i will have to figure out for all our various christmas events.  even crocheting a hat has proved very difficult for my pregnancy brain.  i keep making the silliest mistakes and can't seem to focus on what i am doing.  so... we will see how many homemade gifts i will actually get done.

6. good news about a couple homemade birthday gifts though - i successfully made homemade play dough for the first time.  i used kool-aid which made it smell like frosting and while i was mixing it on the stove and wondering if it would ever start looking like play dough and less like frosting, i almost forgot what i was making.  it was a success though and i made new play dough for my own kids while i was at it.

7. i have a fresh chicken sitting in my fridge that needs to be cooked but we don't eat lunch or dinner here on sundays.  i guess i will have to cook it anyways and then maybe save the meat for monday? oh wait, i don't think we are eating dinner here on monday either.  bummer.

8. did you ever know about my love of fall and everything pumpkin?  we don't carve pumpkins but we do roast so many during the fall and eat pumpkin like it is going out of style.  mmmm.  so far we have made a curry pumpkin soup and 3 loaves of pumpkin bread (2 had chocolate chips as a guilty pleasure in an otherwise good for you treat).  pumpkin food makes me smile.

9. every time someone hears i am pregnant that i don't know, they ask me if it my 1st.  when i hear, "no, it is my 5th," come out of my mouth and see the shock on their faces, i am still in a bit of shock myself.  i mean, 5 sounds like a lot right?  adding just 1 more little one to the 4 already running around doesn't seem that different, but then saying the number 5?!!!  i must be crazy, right?  but somehow it just sneaked up on me one child at a time and here we are... 5 kids in 8 years this next april!

10. well, misty worked her magic again.  little one is asleep and snoring.  gosh, i hope i don't snore while i listen to her all night long.

11. i am not that great of a list maker.  it seems that lists should be short, concise and to the point.  i am always way too wordy for that and need to add lots of description to each number on my list.

12. we are in a ton of transition right now.  our house of prayer that we oversee is in the midst of changing from a house of prayer that has met at our home church for the past few years to a citywide house of prayer.  transition, no matter how good it is and how much God is clearly involved is always painful.  i mean, take it from me, someone who have experienced 4 "real" transitions (labor is where they get that term, right???) and am about to experience another one in a few short months, that saying there is "pressure" is just a way to describe pain when you don't want someone to be afraid of the actual real pain.  it is hard and painful and yet usually anytime there is transition it is because a very very good thing is coming (like a new baby).  oh lovely fun transition.


13. eggplant.  if i have never told you how i adore eggplant, especially prepared the indian way, then i really should have told you before now.  i adore eggplant.

14. i am up way too late... way past my bedtime.  maybe that is evidence that i am getting some energy back.  but let's not exaggerate - i am not full of energy, so this should wrap up soon so i can go to bed.

15. i am tired.  so tired.  i think i have been tired for the past 8.5 years with ups and downs from tired to even more tired.  another reason i should go to bed while the above mentioned baby is sleeping.

16. good night!

charis

how to grow in a life of prayer

photo credit - stock.xchng by eyebiz

 

if there is one thing that the modern day church needs more than anything else, it is a spirit of prayer.  however, little actual value is placed on prayer in both our personal and corporate lives.


the subject of prayer

in a recent post, i asked you my readers for feedback on what you want to hear more about on this blog.  one specific request that struck me deeply was a request to read more about prayer. 

my husband and i are in full time ministry doing just that - prayer.  we oversee the building of a house of prayer community in redding, california, and much of our time and energy is both in the place of prayer and encouraging other believers to grow in their own prayer lives.  we gather believers to corporate worship and prayer times to join our hearts in encountering the living God and to partner with Him in His purposes for the earth. 


prayer as the foundation

prayer was deep in the foundation of the early church.  their gatherings were centered around prayer as opposed to ours where we spend very little time in our corporate gathering actually praying.  why do you think that is?  i believe it is pretty simple.  we do not know the transforming power of a life of prayer.  we do not realize the communion with the Lord we are offered to live from when we partner our hearts with the One who is called the Great Intercessor.  we instead regard prayer as boring, token, and as a last resort.  (ever heard it said, well i guess all we can do now is pray...)


time in the Word stirs our hearts to pray

although i have given my life to this thing called prayer, i feel as if there is so much i have to learn!  i am always hungry and open to teachings and advice on how to deepen my own life in prayer.  i recently heard a good friend teaching in a sunday school class on prayer say something i have been thinking about for the past couple days.  he said that we do not have a hunger to pray because we do not spend time in the Word.  if we were in the Word more, it would stir our hearts to pray. 

wow. 

so, it seems that the lack of prayer in the church and in our own personal lives could actually be a reflection of the fact that we do not actually spend much time in the Word.  do i want to stir a deeper hunger to spend time with the Lord in prayer?  then i need to make sure i am daily reading and meditating on His Word - the Bible.  am i feeling unmotivated and unmoved in talking to the Lord in prayer?  how has my time in the Word been the last couples days, weeks, or (gasp) months? 

in thinking about my own experience with developing both a prayer life and a life in the Word i can pinpoint some specific ups and downs in both.  i can see a pattern for myself of times i have been too busy to really read the Bible and then feeling disconnected in prayer and times when i have pressed in to read the Word (even in the small seemingly insignificant moments) and feeling my heart drawn to talk to the Lord.  though it may not be a perfect rule, i believe my friend is right in that they are very closely tied.



adding myself to my own prayer list

for me, one of the greatest gifts of revelation i have had in the past year or so is that it is legal to pray for myself.  i have always had a prayer list of people and issues that i pray for and then i also just use my prayer times to "vent" to the Lord instead of to men (i got this from studying the life of david and saw it to be a powerful part of his life).  i hadn't occurred to me to use a portion of my personal prayer time to just pray, "God, give me a Spirit of prayer.  give me a desire to pray.  please give me the grace to follow You and desire You and spend time with You."  this sounded totally crazy to me, and yet it is totally a legal prayer.  king david would often pray for himself in the psalms.  Jesus said that the Father would give the Holy Spirit to all who asked Him (luke 11:13).  we can totally ask for the Holy Spirit to strengthen our prayer lives and He will!  this has been such fuel for me! the times when i come to the Lord and feel so untouched and unmotivated to be there, i now simply ask that He would send the Holy Spirit to stir me to desire to pray.  so simple and yet it works.



prayer exposes our own weakness

another thing that i have learned over the past couple years of focusing on growing in prayer and building up the house of prayer in redding is how weak i often feel.  my initial thoughts were that a life of prayer would make me feel like i was on top of the world, but that isn't exactly how it works.  it isn't meant to work that way.  there are so many places in Scripture that say that the Lord delights in those who know their own weakness and lean on Him.  He is near the broken and contrite in heart (ps 51:17).  in Jesus's first publicly recorded sermon He begun by saying, "happy are the poor in spirit..."  the Lord values our recognition of our own weakness and this is a purposeful byproduct of a life in prayer.  when we are weak, He becomes strong in our lives.

i was reading the other night and i felt so much Holy Spirit confirmation in a writing of bill johnson's about his early days of developing a life of prayer.  i would paraphrase, but basically do it no justice, so i will quote it here.  bill johnson wrote in center of the universe:

i thought that i would discover a source of real power through prayer.  instead i found weakness - mine.  it seemed that with more prayer i would rise to a place of powerful ministry.  instead, i am filled with an awareness of inability to handle power.  my eyes have turned from my grand future to a grace-filled present.  i'm not disappointed, just surprised.

i figured that with more prayer i would become pure and holy.  it seems that instead, i have become aware of my impurity.  when i thought that my heart would jump at the chance to be holy, i found it to be coarse and vain.  i do sense a change happening in me, but i realize now that it's not as much from my heart as it is from His.  i'm not disappointed, just surprised.

more prayer appeared to be the key to the miraculous.  certainly if i pray more there will be more miracles happening through my life.  it's true that i see more miracles.  but so far it's not that they have increased as much as i see my world differently.  i'm not disappointed, just surprised.

with more prayer, i would discover the "riches of Christ," right?  my first discovery was my spiritual poverty.  as for His riches, they fill my heart only as i see my need. i'm not disappointed, just surprised.

if there was one thing that i knew for sure, it was that more prayer brought more answers.  my shock came when i realized that i don't have more as much as i have different answers.  i'm not disappointed, just surprised.

this is where i have been myself.  i have discovered in a life of prayer much surprise about both myself and God.  but i am not disappointed.  this is the life we are called to as believers.  we are called to be joined to Him in prayer and truly discover what it means to know Him and live leaning into Him.

i encourage you to take some time today to go to that place of prayer to encounter His heart.  has it been a while?  does your heart feel cold?  ask Him to give you the grace to pray.  ask Him to give you the Holy Spirit to strength and encourage you to pray.  He will give to all who ask.


your thoughts

what is one thing you have discovered in pursuing a life of prayer?  what is one obstacle you have faced in trying to develop your own prayer life?  i would love for you to add your thoughts in the comments below.


charis