it all depends on your point of view

word for the day:  view

start.

it was breath-taking. really. and as i looked at the water rushing down, out of the side of that jagged rock, i wondered on God's creation.

the roar of Your waterfalls... as deep cries out to deep...

that roar reverberated inside, like the soul's response to the vibrations of a tuning fork. i can feel His voice in the rushing roar. i can drink in His beauty with wonder at the details in His creation.

when He told moses to strike the rock and the water would pour forth... then He told him to speak to the rock and water would spill out... did it happen to look at all like this view?

i see beauty spill forth from the cracks in the rock, and He sees beauty spill forth from the cracks in my heart. what we see as broken, He sees as opportunity for beauty - for His creation to vibrate to the rhythms of His roar.

i guess it all depends on whose point of view you are looking from - ours or His.

and though i seem to think myself the expert on my life and my heart, perhaps i should trust the Creator to bring forth the rushing waters if He sees it fit.

stop. 

if you want to join in, the instructions are below.



5 minute friday rules:
1. write for 5 minutes flat – no editing, no over thinking, no backtracking.
2. link back here and invite others to join in.
3. please visit the person who linked up before you & encourage them.

if you write a 5 minute friday, let me know -  i would love to visit your blog and read what comes spilling out when writing against the clock!  

if you haven't liked this facebook page, you can in the upper right of this post.  you can also follow this blog or subscribe in a reader.  i would love to keep in better touch with you! 

charis

what kind of song that will be!

word for the day:  song

 photo by heather armstrong

start.

our God is a God who loves music. have you ever heard the theory that creation was made during a song? i don't know if that is true, but i just love the thought of it. singing creation into being...

right now, surrounding Him on all sides in the heavenly throne room, Jesus has song. they could just be worshiping Him with words or with prostration, but it specifically says there is song. God could have created heaven however He wanted to, and He chose to have the heavenly beings sing to His Son day and night, without ceasing. i wonder what kind of melodies and harmonies they have come up with after singing together for such a long time. i bet it is just breath-taking.

i started studying the book of isaiah a couple years ago, and i was struck by this one messianic passage speaking of Jesus return, and how those from the coast lands would make their way to jerusalem to greet Him singing. maybe it is because i have lived my whole life in california, or maybe it is because of the hard earned music degree i hold, or maybe it just vibrates that chord in me that loves a good song. i just imagine those of us over here on the california coast journeying to jerusalem to see our God who has finally drawn near forever with a joyful song in our mouths and i wonder what the words will be that we are singing. i can hear the laughter in my mind already and the dancing... oh the dancing! i have never been able to stop thinking about that passage when i think about His return.

stop. 

if you want to join in, the instructions are below.



5 minute friday rules:
1. write for 5 minutes flat – no editing, no over thinking, no backtracking.
2. link back here and invite others to join in.
3. please visit the person who linked up before you & encourage them.

if you write a 5 minute friday, let me know -  i would love to visit your blog and read what comes spilling out when writing against the clock!  


charis

when i am afraid

word for the day:  afraid

start.

truth be known, i struggle quite a bit with being afraid. i am afraid of being alone. i am afraid of the unknown. i am afraid of disappointment. i am afraid of letting others down. i am afraid of death. i am afraid of pain.

there is this amazing God, the God of the Bible, who offers freedom from fear. He calls it casting all my cares on Him. He calls it trusting in Him. He calls it leaning on Jesus for my righteousness.

He tells me, why are you worried about tomorrow? 

worry and fear are the opposite of trust and faith.

being afraid is usually a sign that i am relying on myself to figure it all out - my own problems and those of everyone else around me. though being afraid isn't a sin, refusing to let it go into His hands when i am confronted with my fear by His precious Holy Spirit is.

oh may i not refuse the sweet relief you offer me.

You will keep in perfect peace, him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in YOU. 

trade my fear for Your peace.

stop. 

if you want to join in, the instructions are below.



5 minute friday rules:
1. write for 5 minutes flat – no editing, no over thinking, no backtracking.
2. link back here and invite others to join in.
3. please visit the person who linked up before you & encourage them.

if you write a 5 minute friday, let me know -  i would love to visit your blog and read what comes spilling out when writing against the clock!  


charis

think of it as an opportunity

word for the day:  opportunity

start.

what a friend we have in Jesus
all our sins and griefs to bear
what a privilege to carry
everything to God in prayer

o what peace we often forfeit
o what needless pain we bear
all because we do not carry
everything to God in prayer

crisis is opportunity.  it is opportunity to meet the Lord.

i have been asking the Lord to make Himself really real to me for the past year.  my heart has felt hard and cold, not because i do not want to feel His tenderness and love.  i have cried out and asked that He would please let me feel His nearness and that He would fill all my lacking places with faith and trust that makes up for all the lack.

i do not want to forfeit the peace that He offers.

i do not want to bear pain needlessly.

and so the question remains before me:  will i come to Him and bring it all to Him in prayer?

i have purposed that i must do this.  i must experience Him this year like never before.

so i set a timer on my phone, to go off every 10 minutes, that no matter where i am or what i am doing i would turn my attention to Him and give Him the worship He is due.

to remind me to give Him the thanks He is due.

to remind me to come to Him in prayer - about everything.

be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.  and the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things.  philippians 4:6-8

stop. 

if you want to join in, the instructions are below.



5 minute friday rules:
1. write for 5 minutes flat – no editing, no over thinking, no backtracking.
2. link back here and invite others to join in.
3. please visit the person who linked up before you & encourage them.

if you write a 5 minute friday, let me know -  i would love to visit your blog and read what comes spilling out when writing against the clock!  


charis

to really look

word for the day:  look

start.

there is something about the look of love.  the way that he looks at him.  the way the other looks at me behind the camera.

in the midst of the busy-ness of life, i find there are times when life slows suddenly to a present moment and i am able to really look at those around me and see.

see who they are - look into their eyes, beyond their actions and words.  i study the uniqueness of their features... the structure of the cheekbones or specific hue of the eyes.  my heart melts a bit from prior hardness and walls protecting to just get through the tasks of the day and i feel the realness of relationship.

i wonder, is this how He looks at me?  while holding the whole universe together in Himself, does He pause when He catches my eye and really look into me and feel the warmth rise up in His heart that i feel when i look at one of my little ones?  does He see past my changing actions and fleeting words and see into who i am? 

you have ravished my heart with one glance of your eye... songs of song 4:9

He really sees.

stop.


i like these writing exercises.  sometimes it is good to just write and not over-think it.  i know not all of my readers write their own blogs, but if you do consider joining in.



5 minute friday rules:
1. write for 5 minutes flat – no editing, no over thinking, no backtracking.
2. link back here and invite others to join in.
3. please visit the person who linked up before you & encourage them.

you are welcome to leave a link to your 5 minute friday post if you wrote one - i would love to read it.  


charis

to finish the race strong

seeing as though my 3rd son had his jog-a-thon today, today's 5 minute writing prompt was perfect! 

word for the day:  race

start.

someone once said to run the race as though to win the prize.

being a runner, this resounds with me deeply. 

as excited as i may be about the idea of running, many times i don't feel like running when i start out.  it takes a good half mile or so to get into a rhythm of feet hitting hard the ground below.  i have a goal in mind, and whether i feel like it or not, i am determined to achieve that goal.

i am determined to finish the race strong.

there is a crown waiting for me.  much like the gold medal hanging around his neck.  if i can keep in view the well done at the end, the crown of glory that never fades away, the warm welcome into His kingdom where there will never again be sorrow or this sometimes debilitating pain of this age... keep my eye on the prize set before me.

He endure for the prize set before Him - He walked the lonely road to calvary where He gave it all. 

i endure for the prize set before me - i can see Him waiting at the finish line, cheering me on, and holding the prize that He has set aside

just. for. me.

and so i push through.  i press on.  i take those next few steps, the leaps, the bounds into the sometimes unknown so that i can finish this race knowing that i gave it my all and ran with everything within me. 

those who have gone before me stand on the sidelines cheering me on.

stop.

if you want to join in, the instructions are below.



5 minute friday rules:
1. write for 5 minutes flat – no editing, no over thinking, no backtracking.
2. link back here and invite others to join in.
3. please visit the person who linked up before you & encourage them.

if you write a 5 minute friday, let me know -  i would love to visit your blog and read what comes spilling out when writing against the clock!  


charis

you're welcome

word for the day:  welcome

start.

"thank you."

"you're welcome."

i say it so automatically, almost like i am listening to a recording of my own voice.  how often do i stop to think about what it means?

you. are. welcome.

you are invited into my life.  you are free to come close.  i am open to your being near.

we so often place welcome mats on the doorways to our homes, but when things are messy, life is messy, we shut our hearts and shut our doors.

we may leave the appearance of the invitation to community - communion with others - but withdraw in shame and fear into seclusion.

slow it down.  allow yourself to hear, and really believe, the words that you are saying.

"thank you."

you. are. welcome.

you might make me mighty uncomfortable and i don't really want you to see all my mess and really know all of who i am because it may be more than you can handle at times, but

you. are. welcome.

stop.

if you want to join in, the instructions are below.



5 minute friday rules:
1. write for 5 minutes flat – no editing, no over thinking, no backtracking.
2. link back here and invite others to join in.
3. please visit the person who linked up before you & encourage them.

if you write a 5 minute friday, let me know.  i would love to visit your blog and read your heart.


charis

inability to focus

word for the day:  focus

start.

it is so difficult for me to just slow down enough to focus.  my mind races a million miles an hour most days all day long.  having 5 little ones to care after doesn't help the focus problem.  i laughingly told my husband tonight after reading this silly prayer for my personality profile (enfp if you were curious) that i often interrupt even my own stories to go on a bunny trail and never end up saying what i wanted to say in the first place.

i want to write here... so many things are heavy on my heart that i want to share.  good things.  hard thing too.  but by the end of the evening when the last two of the littles are finally asleep and the house is quiet i am too tired to put together two thoughts that make much sense. 

the back to school thing hit me hard like a semi truck to the face.

oh how i need help figuring out a schedule that works for me or at least settling into the one i have right now!  so much i want to do... so much i want to say... so many places i would like to be...

but as long as i am trying to run in every direction and juggle all the different balls at the same time, i don't often do anything very well.  i usually end up telling you about the bunny that ran down that trail and don't ever get to the meat of what is really going on. 

how i need the Lord to help me focus!

stop.

if you want to join in, the instructions are below.



5 minute friday rules:
1. write for 5 minutes flat – no editing, no over thinking, no backtracking.
2. link back here and invite others to join in.
3. please visit the person who linked up before you & encourage them.

if you write a 5 minute friday, let me know.  i would love to visit your blog and read your heart.


charis

if you could change just one thing

word for the day:  change

start.

if there was one thing you could change, what would it be?

one thing.  one thing only? 

well, i would have treated my relationships a lot more soberly.  i would listen more.  listen deeper.  less thinking about what i was going to say next and more looking straight in the eyes and hearing the heart.

i would say what needed to be said.  less small talk and filling the awkward gaps of silence and more truth, as hard as it may be to hear and even to say, spoken with the love of a friend.  too many times have i known deep in the pit of my stomach what should have been said and i failed to say it.

failed to say, don't give up...  
                          He is faithful...
                                  i love you...  
                                         i am here...  
                                              i am sorry.

i have regretted both what i have said too lightly and too deeply what i have not.  

if i could change one thing, i would change the way you and i have interacted.  i would interact with you as one who i long to see found faithful to Him in the end and not as one whose acceptance now i am craving to gain.

i would treat you truly as a friend.

stop.

if you want to join in, the instructions are below.



5 minute friday rules:
1. write for 5 minutes flat – no editing, no over thinking, no backtracking.
2. link back here and invite others to join in.
3. please visit the person who linked up before you & encourage them.

if you write a 5 minute friday, let me know.  i would love to visit your blog and read your heart.


charis

did you look into their eyes today?

word for the day:  connect

start.

there are some days that life just seems too crazy.  it is like time is just marching around and around the clock and won't stop or slow down for even the really important things.

after the whirlwind of the day, looking at the many unchecked items on my to do list, food still under the table from dinner, and dirty dishes left undone in the sink i realize it:  the most important thing was left undone. 

i never connected with their hearts.

in all the hustle and bustle of life, though my heart desires to make connection with real people the priority - the heart to heart connect that lets them know they matter - sometimes all that needs to get done gets in the way of what i desire most. 

if i don't slow down myself purposely to look deep into the eyes around me and say the kind words that i have thought about them and just never voiced... well, the connect never happens without looks and without words.

i love you.

one of the most important phrases to connect two hearts to each other. 

looking straight into each other's eyes, regardless of what the day held, letting go of prior offenses and fully embracing the broken humanity that lies just beyond in the depth of their eyes. 

i want those i love to know how much i love them.

stop.

if you want to join in, the instructions are below.



5 minute friday rules:
1. write for 5 minutes flat – no editing, no over thinking, no backtracking.
2. link back here and invite others to join in.
3. please visit the person who linked up before you & encourage them.

if you write a 5 minute friday, let me know.  i would love to visit your blog and read your heart.


charis

here

word for the day:  here

start.

and so here i am again.  waiting.

i almost don't want to exhale the pressure is built up so tight inside my chest.  i look up at the ceiling afraid to breathe lest i cry and never stop.

over on the wall is written the word hope.

h.o.p.e.

and i nod my head because it is true.  i wait here and dare not move because i hope in You.  i hope something will change and am almost afraid to believe it would or could.  but i know that You are faithful and will never leave me.

you see straight into the deepest parts.  where the darkness lies and where i cannot run anymore and cannot hide.  You open me up and read me like a book and as the red rises to my cheeks i dare not look away for You see me.  You really do see.  

when no one else sees.

if i dare to let the tears fall, you are not ashamed of my weakness.   

oh. so. deep. it. goes.  

trying so hard to be strong and to believe the right thing. to say the right thing.   

just. the. right. thing.  

but i don't know.  and so i sit here, right here, and wait.  i must have You meet me.  i must encounter You because i really have no one else. 

stop.

yikes, didn't think i was going to open up that can of worms.

if you want to join in, the instructions are below.



5 minute friday rules:
1. write for 5 minutes flat – no editing, no over thinking, no backtracking.
2. link back here and invite others to join in.
3. please visit the person who linked up before you & encourage them.

if you write a 5 minute friday, let me know.  i would love to visit your blog and read your heart.


charis

beyond

word for the day:  beyond

start.

i can't help but wonder how a human being can have so many deep desires and plans on his heart and somehow even begin to scratch the surface of them in a mere 70-80 years. 

a wise woman i know once told me that the callings of God were eternal.  that sometimes a prophetic word may not be fulfilled at all on this side of eternity - the prophesy might be saved for the crossing over.

i still ponder those words as they come back at key times of questioning.  but what about ____?  arises to my mind often.  the desire to understand how to fit so much life into so little time.

but what if the answer does lie beyond the time i can see right now?

what if our true calling isn't even unlocked until the beyond? 

for God cannot lie.  if He said it, He will do it. 

the beautiful mess that we live in may not look a bit like what we envision and yet...

and yet He is faithful. 

His mercies are new. 

we have a living hope.  we serve a risen Lord.  and we will rise too.

and when we step into that which is beyond what we are in today, then we shall fully understand in the looking back why He wanted to wait and work it in us deeply - because today really isn't all we have.

stop.

want to join in?  it is easy. i look forward to joining in whenever i can on a friday.



5 minute friday rules:
1. write for 5 minutes flat – no editing, no over thinking, no backtracking.
2. link back here and invite others to join in.
3. please visit the person who linked up before you & encourage them.

if you write a 5 minute friday, let me know.  i would love to come by and read your take on the word beyond.  you never know what will come out.


charis

undignified

word for the day:  dance

start.

sometimes it is all i can do to keep from breaking out in full blown dance before the Lord.  it is often at the most awkward times that my limbs ache to express the building pressure in my heart, bursting forth like a volcanic eruption.

i will become even more undignified than this... 2 samuel 6:22

i used to feel silly cranking up the worship music and dancing before the Lord.  i would lock all the doors in my little apartment in college and tighten the blinds.  i would feel the tension in my shoulders that a roommate may come home and walk in on my intimate moment with the Lord.

but somehow i couldn't help it.  the overwhelming overflowing love for Jesus just wanting to burst forth with my whole being.

this was a season during that college time, a dark night of my soul, when as a vocal major i had to go on voice rest because of nodules.  i did not know worship without singing.  i felt a hurting disconnect from the Lord.

yet i heard His small voice urging my heart to dance before Him.

worship Him with dance.

and so like david, even when it causes others to stare and giggle at my foolishness, i long to dance with utter abandon before Him and give Him the overflowing worship that is due His name.

even sitting in a quiet prayer room, i long to jump out of my seat and worship with extravagant praise.  the tingling in my feet to move to the rhythm of the music.

stop.

want to join in?  it is easy. i look forward to joining in whenever i can on a friday.



5 minute friday rules:
1. write for 5 minutes flat – no editing, no over thinking, no backtracking.
2.link back here and invite others to join in.
3. please visit the person who linked up before you & encourage them.

we have been away of a trip. - oh what a trip! we have been crazy busy but enjoying every blessed moment of being out here. - i miss my blog community!  i would love to hear from you in the comments! 

charis

when you have already come this far

word for the day:  path

start.
this journey... you never quite know where it will take you.  sometimes it seems like the line for a ride at an amusement park that winds back and forth and at times seems like you are walking away from the final destination.

enjoy the journey they say.  enjoy the process.

i don't always enjoy it to be honest.

i look at the goal ahead and that seems worthwhile.  knowing Him.  being with Him.  found faithful.  counted among the righteous.

but the getting there?  i am not so thrilled about this back and forth road that just get tough.

who really likes standing in line for the ride?  if it weren't for the hope of the ride to come, no one would put up with the line.

i walk and walk and walk.  sometimes i run.  sometimes i fall and all i can muster strength to do is crawl.  but forward i must move because i have my eye on a prize and i will not give up.

my dad told me there are no quitters in our family.

i will not quit at this one.  i have come too far to have anywhere to really go back to.  i think of peter looking around at the crowds that once followed Jesus all going back home because of offense.

where would he go?  he had already given up so much.  so to press ahead on the narrow path - the sometimes confusing journey because he had to believe - i have to believe - it would all be worth it in the end.
stop.

want to join in?  it is easy.  (i have to say i went about 30 seconds over on this one...  sometimes you get on a roll right?  i am often surprised at what comes out through my fingers when they write against a clock.)



5 minute friday rules:
1. write for 5 minutes flat – no editing, no over thinking, no backtracking.
2.link back here and invite others to join in.
3. please visit the person who linked up before you & encourage them.

as always,  i love to hear from you in the comments! 

charis

it's all about perspective

word for the day:  perspective

start.

i went into the tire store just to get a simple rotation.  in and out in 15 minutes right?  turns out i need two new tires.  again.  a fresh alignment.  again.  4th alignment in the 2 years we have owned the van and tires # 7 and 8 that we have purchased in the same amount of time.  something is off and i am not sure what.

they tell me that it is uneven wear.  the inside edges of the tires are wearing too fast and getting bald while the outside edges are fine.  it has been the same problem of inside wear since we bought this car and no one knows how to stop the reoccurring problem. 

i feel myself quite like the tires.  i am getting worn and weary from uneven wear.  taking my kids on a simple errand to target i am on edge, barking orders to them of what not to do.  finishing the daily routines i have angst rise up and grumbling escape my lips in a whisper.  mustering up all the self-control i can i try to silence the gateway before hurtful words escape that cannot fully be undone by i'm sorry.

i am off.  uneven wear.  the inside is growing bald while the outside looks pretty much the same.  simple trials of life - car repairs, broken garbage disposals, dying computers... all seem to pile on the pressure and try the health of my soul.  

and i open to the book of acts and read of paul and silas beaten and thrown in prison - it was at midnight that they sang.  after mistreatment and pain and life just not going right they sang praises to their God.

what is the remedy for uneven wear, for the inner edges going bald too quickly - the barrenness in my own soul that i am too keenly aware of at the present moment?  sing.

sing and be realigned with truth.

stop.

photo credit

want to join in?  it is easy.



5 minute friday rules:
1. write for 5 minutes flat – no editing, no over thinking, no backtracking.
2.link back here and invite others to join in.
3. please visit the person who linked up before you & encourage them.

as always,  i love to hear from you in the comments! 

charis

the number 1 distraction to knowing God

word for the day: identity

start.

we are all so consumed these days with finding out who we are.  it is supposed to be empowering, but i think many times, if not most times, it is both distracting and debilitating.

"who am i? what should i be?  what is my calling?  my passion?  my dream?"

we get so wrapped up in self-discovery that we lose sight of what is supposed to be our main focus:

knowing Him.

st. augustine said,  

love God and do whatever you please: for the soul trained in love to God will do nothing to offend the One who is Beloved.

the apostle paul said, 

with good will render service, as to the Lord, and not to men, knowing that whatever good thing each one does, this he will receive back from the Lord, whether slave or free. ephesians 6:7-8

all this search for identity and significance is distracting from our pursuit of the knowledge of God... it doesn't matter what we do, as long as we do it as an act of worship to the Lover of our soul. 

sure it sounds great to know who we are and be living the dream, but in reality if we use more time in pursuit of knowing ourselves rather than time getting to know Him, it is merely a distraction from the only thing that matters in the end:

loving Jesus.

stop.


want to join in?  it is easy.



5 minute friday rules:
1. write for 5 minutes flat – no editing, no over thinking, no backtracking.
2.link back here and invite others to join in.
3. please visit the person who linked up before you & encourage them.

as always,  i love to hear from you.

charis

mostly human

word for the day: real

start.

my head hurts from allergies.  i didn't sleep well last night due to a sweet nursing baby.  i look around a messy dirty living room and feel overwhelmed.

everything inside of me feels ready to scream.  i easily can blame the angst on my circumstances.  if only...

if only i didn't have a headache.  if only i had a full night sleep and was well rested.  if only i had a clean house.

then i would feel different inside.  right?

it is so easy to blame the circumstances.  in the ideal world, i would always feel right, always think right, always respond right.

but what if this way i am swirling inside is how i really am?

what if my ideal self in the ideal circumstances isn't reality, but the brokenness i experience when all the props are taken away is what is real?

what a sobering thought. 

no wonder i need to lean on my Beloved. 

for if it was all up to me and the strength, or lack of it, inside i would not be a fun person to be around.  most. of. the. time.

the world wants to tell us we are mostly together, mostly great people, most of the time.

what is reality is we are mostly broken, mostly selfish, mostly human all of the time.

and we have a big blaring need for Him to encounter our broken hearts every day.

stop.


want to join in?  it is easy.



5 minute friday rules:
1. write for 5 minutes flat – no editing, no over thinking, no backtracking.
2.link back and invite others to join in.
3. please visit the person who linked up before you & encourage them.

as always,  i love to hear from you.
charis

peace. be still.

word for the day: loud

start.

it all started with a sharp word towards one of my kids, for what reason i really cannot remember.  a heated impatience threatening to boil over and consume everyone within its immediate range, i gave a look at my husband.

"what's wrong?" he asked.

it isn't what is wrong.  there really isn't much that is wrong.  actually, if i would take the time to step back and give an honest look at life around me a lot is very right.

it is just too loud inside my head.

sometimes i wish all the noise in my brain would stop.  be quiet.  give me some space to really think.

sometimes i know that i am being driven by some primal urge to make the noise just go away - to shut off the loud and replace it with quiet.  this animal-like instinct can unfortunately wound those around me and there is no one left guilty for any crime except me.

when Jesus said to the storms, "peace. be still," i wish He would come say it to my internal life.  i am tired of the storms inside that affect the way i act on the outside.  i despise that i take my stress and unrest out on those i love the most.  i long to act from a place of peace rather than a place of irritation.

finally brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things.  philippians 4:8

what i fill my mind and heart with is surely going to affect what comes out, right?

be still, and know that i am God.  psalm 46:10

i long to be still.  i long for quiet in my soul.  Lord, make the loud noises stop.

stop.


want to join in?  it is easy.



5 minute friday rules:
1. Write for 5 minutes flat – no editing, no over thinking, no backtracking.
2. Link back here and invite others to join in.
3. Please visit the person who linked up before you & encourage them.

as always,  i love to hear from you.
charis

being brave

word for the day: brave

start.

the time is coming soon, whether i am ready or not. 

i better get ready.

it is completely natural and yet the most intimidating thing i have ever done and will ever do again. 

i have to be brave.  being brave doesn't mean that you aren't a bit nervous on the inside.  being brave doesn't mean you are ignorant of what is coming.  actually being brave is counting the cost and going into it fully aware of what it will take and what it will look like.

and no one knows for sure the day or the moment that it will start, but God has left that mystery up to Himself.  but i do know it is coming and i need to prepare.

in so many ways, as i write, i think of the parallels to the time before the return of Jesus.  i mean, they call it birth pains, right?  and here i am, thinking and reading and planning for very real, very physical birth pains in just a matter of weeks.  part of me is nervous.  part of me is excited.

but i know, most of all, what it will take is all of me being brave.

God has not given us a spirit of fear, but a Spirit of power, love, and a sound mind. 2 timothy 1:7

He has been my Rock to navigate me through 4 births already, and i know He will be my Rock once again.  even when things get more intense and the contractions get stronger, i don't have to be a hero.  no, i just have to keep my mind steadfast and look at the One who is my Hero and He will guide me through.

He is always faithful and there will be such a great prize waiting for me on the other side - my baby.

someday He will be the One waiting for me on the other side and that will be the best prize for being brave.

stop.


want to join in?  it is easy.



5 minute friday rules:
1. Write for 5 minutes flat – no editing, no over thinking, no backtracking.
2. Link back here and invite others to join in.
3. Please visit the person who linked up before you & encourage them.

as always,  i love to hear from you.
charis

ache

word for the day: ache

start.

i have never met you, but i think about you often.  sometimes, when it is late at night and i am lying awake in my bed or when i am walking around the quiet neighborhood by myself and my mind is allowed to silently wander, i think about all our days together.  i know that you are not perfect, for of course you are only a broken human just like me.  but there is something about you that will not let my heart go.

when i think of you my eyes fill with tears.  my throat chokes and words are pointless.  my heart and my arms ache.

you are right beyond the horizon.  i believe you wait for me and i try to wait for you.  it is hard sometimes.  i can almost see your eyes looking into mine at times and i have so many unanswered questions that seem left hanging.

when?

my heart joins with the cry of hannah and i say, Lord, when?  when will you give to me...?

and i walk the tight rope of living a life thankful for what i have right before me and a heart that aches for what i cannot let go of - the hope of you.

someday i hope this ache will be filled with tears of joy at seeing your face after such a long time of waiting.

i love you.

stop.


want to join in?  it is easy.



5 minute friday rules:
1. Write for 5 minutes flat – no editing, no over thinking, no backtracking.
2. Link back here and invite others to join in.
3. Please visit the person who linked up before you & encourage them.

as always,  i love to hear from you.
charis