Friday, March 23, 2012

peace. be still.

word for the day: loud


it all started with a sharp word towards one of my kids, for what reason i really cannot remember.  a heated impatience threatening to boil over and consume everyone within its immediate range, i gave a look at my husband.

"what's wrong?" he asked.

it isn't what is wrong.  there really isn't much that is wrong.  actually, if i would take the time to step back and give an honest look at life around me a lot is very right.

it is just too loud inside my head.

sometimes i wish all the noise in my brain would stop.  be quiet.  give me some space to really think.

sometimes i know that i am being driven by some primal urge to make the noise just go away - to shut off the loud and replace it with quiet.  this animal-like instinct can unfortunately wound those around me and there is no one left guilty for any crime except me.

when Jesus said to the storms, "peace. be still," i wish He would come say it to my internal life.  i am tired of the storms inside that affect the way i act on the outside.  i despise that i take my stress and unrest out on those i love the most.  i long to act from a place of peace rather than a place of irritation.
finally brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things.  philippians 4:8

what i fill my mind and heart with is surely going to affect what comes out, right?
be still, and know that i am God.  psalm 46:10

i long to be still.  i long for quiet in my soul.  Lord, make the loud noises stop.


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