Monday, June 6, 2011

from where you came

sometimes you can really only understand who you are when you see from where you came.

you visit an area and it just feels like home.  you could see yourself happy living there all the days of your life... and you realize that for generations before your people did live there.  there on the land.  there in harmony with the nature around them.  there before the gold rush brought all the pioneers to change the simple way of life into something a lot less simple.

a longing for the simple times stirs within.  wide open spaces.  a place to let 4 little boys run free and far and not worry about who they may meet or what car may not see them.  entertained for countless hours by the very creation of the Creator.

weren't we made to enjoy all that He made?

sleeping to the sounds of rushing water.

swimming in the swimming hole in the heat of the summer. 

having a place to bury those you love close to home, right at home, where they are always near though you know they are no longer there.

i think i found a piece of myself when my family and i went to see the property where my great great grandma, the great great great grandma of my children, a woman i never met, lived.  back to my roots.  a place i had never before seen with my eyes but felt like i was coming back to where i belonged.

the native blood runs deep though the pale skin, light eyes, and blond hair speak louder.

and something about knowing where i come from, finding just one more piece of the puzzle that makes up me and the way i see the world brings safety.  stability.  history.

generations i have never known have shaped me and influenced who i am.  and i wonder what they would think of the generations that follow.  though our lives look different at first glance, are we really all that different than from where we came?

the beauty of His creation leaves me in wonder and awe.  the thought that my family lived on this land makes me long to live here too. 

this is my country - the home of my people.

counting gifts...

200 - 222:

200. a photoshoot for simeon with the amazing myriah grubbs.

201. fresh eggs from the back yard.

202. the last week of school festivities.

203. uriah's pre-k graduation.  is it possible my mama's boy is growing up so fast?

204. spending time at the watchthe house of prayer fills my soul.

205. encountering the Holy Spirit in reading the book of matthew.  a fresh revelation of Jesus my Messiah.

206. the brother-in-law who makes me a white mocha every time i am at his house.  every time.  and i don't even have to ask.

207. going to the property my great great grandma used to own and experiencing family history.  connecting with my roots.

208. realizing so much of who i am comes from who i have come from.

209. freshly swept wood floors.

210. watching swim lessons in the misty rain knowing that sunny days are coming.

211. sunny days are coming!

212. contact lenses in my eyes so i can actually see again after having to wear only my glasses for the past week and a half.

213. an unexpected cash gift at just the right time.

214. a night out with the girls and laughing and laughing and laughing.

215. homemade bean burritos.

216. summer with my kids home!!

217. the amazing response in the comments of my lastest blog post about divorce.  the willingness of readers to be vulnerable and let us all learn and grow from each others experiences and battles.

218. laughing til tears are running down my face.

219. the privilege to raise 4 boys who will be mighty men.

220. learning how to balance all the plates of life and the grace to pick them up when they come crashing down.

221. beautiful northern california.  i am so blessed to live where i do.  i am often in awe of the beauty that God created all around me.

222. fresh homemade strawberry pie at grandma's house when any family member comes in town to visit.  thank you grandma and thank you visiting family!

i am linked up at a holy experience.

what beauty is around you?

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