what an opportunity!

it is the home stretch of school and i am so ready for summer!  i am having a hard time with these long sunlit evenings to get the kids to bed for the early mornings.  i love to spend time with my kids and i am so excited for them to be home and doing fun things together!

to kick off the summer (though we still have 3 days of school left) we went cherry picking on saturday morning.  we filled 2.5 buckets of cherries and only paid $21.  after sorting through the berries i found we had about 17 baskets filled! i would way that was pretty good.  besides getting a ton of great summer fruit, we had a great time as a family.  it's memory making and a yummy way to make memories by picking fresh fruit.  do you know your farmer?

now what i really want to write about is the overwhelming absolute goodness and kindness of our God.  do you know His very real kindness in every circumstance?  i am rejoicing extra in Him today because of our present trials.

we woke up this morning to our jeep wrangler missing from the front of our house.  yep, it was stolen.  after all that has happened over the last couple weeks i have to be honest with you that i wasn't terribly surprised.  this is not said in a pessimistic way at all.  i have been asking the Lord to be my Rock that i build on alone and that i wouldn't be so attached to the things of this world.

just yesterday morning i posted on our facebook page (are you part of our growing community yet?)  a passage in revelation 3 that was a warning to one of the seven churches about how she had grown lukewarm.  in His incredible mercy and kindness, Jesus warned this church that her eyes had become distracted by riches and thinking she had all she needed in wealth of the world in the now.  what she did not realizing was the true broken state she was in.  reading this yesterday morning i prayed, God, don't let me be blinded!  i want to be rich in you and it that means breaking my grip on my stuff now, then please do it!

you see, in our house of prayer community and on this blog as well we talk a lot about having our hope anchored in the Day of the Lord.  i talk a lot about Jesus being my inheritance and my exceedingly great reward.  yet i don't want to stand before Him when He returns and find out that my life really was just a bunch of good talk without the reality of living the message behind it.  i don't want to have a reputation for being alive, but being dead on the inside (a warning Jesus gave another one of the seven churches)!

so today, i thank Him in true sincerity for the opportunity for my heart to be tested now.  am i willing to live the message of having my hope anchored in His coming?  i get the opportunity to bless my enemy and pray for his (or her) repentance and salvation from the lake of fire.  i get to ask that the Lord uses this not only to refine my heart and love for Him, but to draw the thief to Himself and ask that he would choose to leave his life of sin and follow Jesus.

of course i would love for the police to find our jeep and return it.  i would love for the thief himself to repent and return it himself.

but my hope doesn't lie in justice right now - my hope lies in the One who will make all the wrong things right once and for all when He steps foot again on this fallen earth and sets up His righteous kingdom.

this is what i eagerly wait for - and if someone takes my stuff i choose to rejoice in my God for He is good and He is for me and not against me.  He gives me the opportunity to choose Him first with my real life and not just with my words.  i get the opportunity to experience true joy and turn from the human tendency to get angry when 1 are wronged.

i know God will take care of us.  sure, it is our car, but it is only a car.  He has never failed me yet and i know Him to be faithful and trustworthy and in this too He is so so good.

you can ask the Lord to bring our jeep back (i am), but i mostly ask you to pray with me that i will be found pleasing to Him in the midst of this and that the thief would find mercy and salvation.  amen!

 so i thank Jesus for today as much as for our cherry picking day - all are gifts.

still counting gifts to 1000...


654 - 672:

654. supplies in my craft closet to make gifts.

655. the Holy Spirit moving my heart for the poor.

656. a family pass to the aquatic center for the summer.

657. my boys who want to be preachers when they grow up and are already giving their  first sermons.

658. praying with other women lift up each others' needs and desires.

659. fresh fruit of the summer.

660. cherry picking.

661. patience He is working into my heart.

662. tender hearts before the Lord.

663. bright blue sunny sky days.

664. the rain watering my garden for me today.

665. new ideas for the garden.

666. sweet sons who love each other as brothers and friends.

667. new piano student.

668. the opportunity to walk the talk.

669. His mercies are new every morning, so great is His faithfulness.

670. teachers who see my boys with the eyes of the Father.

671. our freezer to preserve the summer bounty for the winter up ahead.

672. He works all things together for our good.

i am linked up at a holy experience.

if you have a blog, let me know if you have a list of your grace gifts so i can visit!  if you don't, write something you are thankful for in the comment section.  i love hearing from you!

if you haven't liked this facebook page, you can in the upper right of this post.  i would love to keep in better touch with you!

charis

it's the simple things

it is often the simple things in life that we enjoy most if we can pause long enough to really see. 

the days in the park when it is blazing hot, but the shade of the trees and the warm breeze makes it tolerable to enjoy the blue sky and long afternoon.

a simple game of catch.  teaching the young ones the skills of throwing and catching.  watching their amazement when daddy throws the ball high in the air and it lands in his mitt.  remembering your own amazement not too terribly long ago when your daddy showed off the same trick.

watching them eat their first foods fresh and full of summer sweetness and refreshment. laughing that the rind of the melon serves as a teething toy as well as entertainment for this little one who will be running around the green fields with his brothers and daddy all too soon.  slow down baby boy, slow down.

holding back from kissing the freckled nose of the little boy who was the baby so very recently, but who will not allow you to call him baby.  david, call me just david, he insists.  knowing the melon dripping down his shirt will take some time to clean but enjoying watching him enjoy the small pleasures in summer somehow makes the laundry work to come tolerable.

gazing at the green eyes that are the only one of the 4 sets that match your own.  as much as you love the others being blue like their daddy's, there is something about seeing a bit of yourself in your little ones that makes the heart swell and eyes stare. amazement at how God designed each feature drawing from both mommy and daddy to make a unique mix in every child.

wishing this little one would slow down just a little bit, yet thanking God for every moment that you are privileged to watch him grow up.  careful to not take the moment for granted, knowing that it is a treasure that will soon fly by, fleeting as the wind, and leave you with only the warm memories of grace gifts He chose to bestow in kindness on your life. 

reminding myself of all He has given.  sometimes speaking to myself, reminding myself, is the greatest gift i can give myself.

life is so full of grace.  each moment, 

if we can see it - if i can see it, 

is full of grace.

251 - 274:

251. that God holds us in the palm of His hand - our lives are literally sustained by Him.

252. the countless number of people praying for and giving to our dear friends and baby audrey.

253. every answered prayer, no matter how small or how large they may seem... every answer is such grace from Him.

254. my four wonderful, beautiful, amazing, strong little men - God has richly blessed me.

255. chocolate peanut butter cup ice cream.  s'mores ice cream.  okay, anything with chocolate in it. it isn't so much the ice cream as the chocolate.

256. bike rides in the park with my favorite 5 men in the whole world.

257. the chickens that keep trying to eat my garden.

258. roadside strawberry stands selling the sweetest berries for amazing prices.

259. a bag full of local berries in the freezer ready for smoothies.

260. tomatoes growing on the tomato plants... hope of what is to come.

261. the promise that He works all things together for good for those who love Him and are called according to His purpose.

262. the Holy Spirit who will never leave us... He promised He would not leave us as orphans.

263. a bbq at the lake with our house of prayer community filled with fellowship, good food, and prayer.

264. a group of people who are devoted to prayer, a group of persistent widows, to walk through the hard times of life with knowing they actually will pray.

265. He will one day bring justice once and for all.

266. we get to taste of His justice to come now in measure and the longing it stirs within me for the day of His coming.

267. the honor of living the life i do and getting to do what i do.  how am i counted worthy to waste my life on Him?

268. so so many new clothes, that fit!, after a shopping trip with my sisters and mom to forever 21 sponsored by my family's generous birthday money gifts.

269. relaxing lunch, great coffee, and pastries all from my mom on our girls' afternoon getaway.

270. warm summer nights.

271. the beautiful place i get to call home... so often when looking at the mountains, river, lakes, or just enjoying the warm summer nights i am known to say, now this is why i live in here.

272. fireworks.

273. amazing grass-fed local steaks from the cow we went in on with friends.

274. swimming in cool water on a hot day.


i am linked up at a holy experience.

i would love to hear the grace in your life that you have eyes to see... it opens our eyes to see the grace He has give us in our own lives.

charis

when life takes us by surprise

there are things that happen in life that take us completely by surprise. we can be in cruise control in pretty normal day to day life, not extremely up or down, and then be thrust into the most surprising and difficult trial imaginable.

it is in these surprises of life - not the birthday party or flowers on the table for no apparent reason - that we realize our need for community, family, and deep friendships that become pillars in a time where all else around seems to crumble.

these surprises - usually smelling strangely familiar to that valley which king david wrote of where darkness and death loom all around threatening and taunting and draining one of all strength - are when the connection to the Lord is tested.  do we harden with offense accusing Him - how could You let this happen to me?  or do we fall back into His arms realizing in that moment that He is with us comforting us with His perfect leadership?  

we often live under the delusion that these surprises of life only happen to someone else.  never to the ones i love... never to those i know... never to me.

and when these delusions, the idealism of our own making, are shattered our priorities shift.  the mind spins into a blur with all the to do list, that was previously occupying the thoughts, and the what ifs, which start to crowd out everything else.

in this moment we grasp for some sense of control to stop the spinning mind.  for me, a sink full of dishes is suddenly feverishly scrubbed and dried, the sink scoured, then the counter tops polished, the floors swept and mopped, as i take out my angst on every speck of dirt that offends my kitchen.  the more i cannot control the surprises, the more i reach to control that within my grasp - desperately trying to find stability and not give into the crashing, the falling, and the swirling that threaten to overcome my soul.

then it cracks.  it is a soft word of comfort or a touch on the shoulder and the outward facade that everything is in control crumbles and the tears spill out.  a mix of anger, grief, and confusion race to the surface and the little that we can control is suddenly put back into perspective - meaningless.

God alone is the Refuge in the surprises of life.  we as believers, as friends and family, have the privilege of walking with one another, encouraging each other to look to the Source, the Refuge for our souls.  when we realize how very little we can control in life, we also realize how big He is and how much He is in control - He holds us in the very palm of His hand. 

photo by myriah grubbs

this past week has been one of these kind of surprises for our house of prayer community.  a family in leadership with the watch has been thrown into intense circumstances completely out of the blue and out of their control.  their baby girl's life hangs in the balance.  the life of one of our own hangs in the balance and we get the opportunity to find out how big our God is, how perfect His leadership, and how much we believe that He can do the impossible.

for what is impossible with man, is possible with God.

i cannot stop hearing this proverb in my thoughts as i pray and try to serve my dear friends whose world has been turned upside down.

a friend loves at all times, 
and a brother is born for adversity. proverbs 17:17

this is what we were born for - to love in the way He loves, to stand beside and fight with those we love and pray until they pass through the valley and breakthrough comes.

He is our Strength.  He is our Refuge.  He is our ever present Help in times of trouble.

we will not fear.

we get to be His hands and His feet.  we get the privilege of crying His tears of compassion with our dear friends.   

we serve.  

                we fight.   

                               we pray.   

                                              we love at all times.   

He will win - now and forevermore.

would you like to help our dear friends  

will and atasha macivor? 

we have a facebook page set up with details of how to pray and how to give if the Holy Spirit leads you to help.  God is bigger than all the surprises of life.  we believe He can and He will bring complete healing to baby audrey.   

thank you for your prayers for our house of prayer community as we fight for the life of one of our own.

charis

from where you came

sometimes you can really only understand who you are when you see from where you came.

you visit an area and it just feels like home.  you could see yourself happy living there all the days of your life... and you realize that for generations before your people did live there.  there on the land.  there in harmony with the nature around them.  there before the gold rush brought all the pioneers to change the simple way of life into something a lot less simple.

a longing for the simple times stirs within.  wide open spaces.  a place to let 4 little boys run free and far and not worry about who they may meet or what car may not see them.  entertained for countless hours by the very creation of the Creator.

weren't we made to enjoy all that He made?

sleeping to the sounds of rushing water.

swimming in the swimming hole in the heat of the summer. 

having a place to bury those you love close to home, right at home, where they are always near though you know they are no longer there.

i think i found a piece of myself when my family and i went to see the property where my great great grandma, the great great great grandma of my children, a woman i never met, lived.  back to my roots.  a place i had never before seen with my eyes but felt like i was coming back to where i belonged.

the native blood runs deep though the pale skin, light eyes, and blond hair speak louder.

and something about knowing where i come from, finding just one more piece of the puzzle that makes up me and the way i see the world brings safety.  stability.  history.

generations i have never known have shaped me and influenced who i am.  and i wonder what they would think of the generations that follow.  though our lives look different at first glance, are we really all that different than from where we came?

the beauty of His creation leaves me in wonder and awe.  the thought that my family lived on this land makes me long to live here too. 

this is my country - the home of my people.

counting gifts...

200 - 222:

200. a photoshoot for simeon with the amazing myriah grubbs.

201. fresh eggs from the back yard.

202. the last week of school festivities.

203. uriah's pre-k graduation.  is it possible my mama's boy is growing up so fast?

204. spending time at the watch.  the house of prayer fills my soul.

205. encountering the Holy Spirit in reading the book of matthew.  a fresh revelation of Jesus my Messiah.

206. the brother-in-law who makes me a white mocha every time i am at his house.  every time.  and i don't even have to ask.

207. going to the property my great great grandma used to own and experiencing family history.  connecting with my roots.

208. realizing so much of who i am comes from who i have come from.

209. freshly swept wood floors.

210. watching swim lessons in the misty rain knowing that sunny days are coming.

211. sunny days are coming!

212. contact lenses in my eyes so i can actually see again after having to wear only my glasses for the past week and a half.

213. an unexpected cash gift at just the right time.

214. a night out with the girls and laughing and laughing and laughing.

215. homemade bean burritos.

216. summer with my kids home!!

217. the amazing response in the comments of my lastest blog post about divorce.  the willingness of readers to be vulnerable and let us all learn and grow from each others experiences and battles.

218. laughing til tears are running down my face.

219. the privilege to raise 4 boys who will be mighty men.

220. learning how to balance all the plates of life and the grace to pick them up when they come crashing down.

221. beautiful northern california.  i am so blessed to live where i do.  i am often in awe of the beauty that God created all around me.

222. fresh homemade strawberry pie at grandma's house when any family member comes in town to visit.  thank you grandma and thank you visiting family!

i am linked up at a holy experience.

what beauty is around you?

charis

simple woman's daybook 3.16.11

 

 

for today:

outside my window... birds singing blue skies, sunlight... i thought it was supposed to rain today?!

i am thinking... about the houses of prayer in japan.  safety.  protection.  opportunity.  courage.

"and now, Lord, take note of their threats, and grant that Your bond-servants may speak Your word with all confidence, while You extend Your hand to heal, and signs and wonders take place through the name of Your holy servant Jesus."  and when they had prayed, the place where they had gathered together was shaken, and they were all filled with the Holy Spirit and began to speak the word of God with boldness. acts 4

i am thankful... that God is doing a huge thing in my heart right now.  my heart hasn't been this tender for a long time.  the season of repentance is painful but so freeing to my heart.  it is like the dust is lifting for the first time in some of the dark corners i never thought could be cleansed.  

remembering... to turn my heart to Him first thing in the morning.  

from the learning rooms... i am wanting to work with david on recognizing his letters.  i was more purposeful with the first two, but as we add on babies my mind becomes more muddled and time flies more quickly!  

from the kitchen... being creative with what we have right now!  i am sure several of you can track with me on this one.  i am putting an order together with azure standard to stock back up on a lot of our basics that we have depleted.  we get things like lentils, rice, coconut oil, coconut milk, bread flour, pastry flour, rapadura sugar, apples, rolled oats, organic beef, and such in bulk from them.  they are a great food coop and we have been customers for the past year.  they are a christian run company out of oregon and deliver all over the country, so check them out.
 

i am wearing... jammies.  i promise, i will get dressed when i am done with this.

i am creating... an etsy site!  you can grab my etsy button on my right sidebar or click on the button to go check it out!  i only have a couple things listed so far, but i am having fun with it.  if you are an etsy community member, would you consider adding my shop to your favorites? i would love it!

i am going... to help in my number 1 son's class today.  so fun!

i am reading... the book of proverbs now in my Bible reading challenge. i am feeling so convicted and challenged by all the rich wisdom in the book of proverbs.  i am realizing once again how i talk way too much and how much it gets me in trouble!  i am realizing that controlling my mouth is the number one hardest thing i could ever do, but that i can't give up!  it is a must.

i am hoping... to get a raised garden bed in our back yard this year.  i am planting seeds inside in preparation, but we need to demo the back building first.  otherwise, i will have to make a way to do my veggies in pots this year.  

i am hearing... the sweet noises of my 8 month old crawling around on the floor in front of me playing.  right now he is stuck under the coffee table.  should i help him get out? 

around the house... so, remember how i was inspired a while back to tackle a catch all hall closet, and then was totally unmotivated to finish it for weeks?  well, we did it!  with the help of my husband, it actually has order to it and stuff has been thrown away, put in right places, and some is being currently listed and sold on craig's list and ebay.  woohoo!

  
one of my favorite things... dates with my hubby!  we have so much fun together and finally get to talk without being interrupted every couple minutes. 

pondering... "there is something better than being right... being free (from anger's hold on me)!" - allen hood, teaching called growing through mistreatment.  this is a big one for me as an oldest child!  ouch, and yet so right on.  this may be the most paradigm shifting teaching i have ever listened to, and one of the few i have ever listened to multiple times.  i am not a teaching junkie, so if i am willing to listen to it more than once that means it is the real thing!

a few plans for the rest of the week: lots of stuff, though this week feels less busy than the past few.  we have a harp and bowl training with our house of prayer staff tomorrow night (that is basically a training in how to intertwine worship, singing and prayer).  we start a corporate 40 fast with our house of prayer community thursday as well (still haven't decided exactly what i am fasting or how i am working it).  asher has his very 1st soccer game saturday!  we had practice monday night and he is really good!  i can't wait to cheer him on!  i have a baby shower for my newest niece sunday afternoon.

we also will be on our 3rd week of a sunday school our house of prayer is offering at bethel church.  i am so enjoying attending it (no responsibilities for me this time!)  it is awesome that my kids can be in their sunday school classes and i only have the baby with me, so i can actually focus and learn a bit!  anyone who is local is welcome to join us.  email me for more info!

picture for the day:

i can't get enough of this cute boy's face!  can you see why i named him beloved?

more of the simple woman's daybook.  

charis

so... what is it that we do?

i recently realized that as i write on here and my audience of readers has expanded to many people i have never actually met in person, many of you reading may not know what it is that my husband and i do.  the reason i think it would be important to even know is it is a context for a lot that i think about and write about.


so... what is it that we do?

my husband and i are overseers (would that be the right title?) of a house of prayer that is starting in redding and that is connected to bethel church.  the vision of the ministry is to serve the entire city of redding.  being a part of  bethel church, we have bethel as our main covering and have our prayer meetings in a room on their campus.  right now we have 16 hours of prayer meetings, but overseeing the building of a community dedicated to prayer, worship, and intercession is a very full-time job.  we have found, at least to my surprise, it to be a lot of administration and a lot of pastoring of people.  we have monthly teaching meetings with our staff, monthly intro meetings for people who are wanting to get involved, worship practices, leader meetings, and home groups we oversee, as well as the counseling and pastoring that comes in one on one sessions too.


the house of prayer here is called the watch of the Lord.  we affectionately refer to it as "the watch" and are considering transitioning it to that as the main name of the ministry.  do we have a website?  yes and no.  we have one at this point for our team, but not one open to the public at this point.  did i ever even think of needing to develop things like a website when we dove into this ministry?  absolutely not!  (my husband, the one who sees more of the needed details of structure i am sure saw this and many other things as needed parts of our "job.")   however, our house of prayer is similar in general style to the house of prayer in kansas city called ihop.  check it out and you will have a little bit of an idea of what we do, but they do it on a much much larger scale.


why a house of prayer?  what is a house of prayer?

well, simply put, it is an earthly model of the unceasing worship and intercession around the throne in heaven.  it is also based upon the model of the tabernacle that king david established during his reign, where 4000 musicians and 288 singers ministered 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, to the presence of God bringing both songs of adoration and petitions before Him for justice on the earth.  it is also rooted in the passage in luke 18 about speedy justice when there is night and day prayer.  you know it... the parable of the persistent widow:

now, will not God bring about justice for His elect who cry to Him day and night, and will He delay long over them?
"i tell you that He will bring about justice for them quickly. however, when the Son of Man comes, will He find faith on the earth?"
luke 18:7-8 

so i know you are all wondering... how do we feed the kids?

by our own choice, our income is based solely on support, similar to a missionary.  (we do supplement with a few private music lessons we each teach one afternoon a week.)  some have even coined the term "intercessory missionary."

why do we do this?

well, for one we would like to be a blessing and not a burden to the body of Christ in our region.  second, we know full well by the amount of work it is already taking to build the house of prayer that it isn't a job that can be done by one or two salaried positions.  it takes a lot of people, just like in the days of king david, to staff a 24/7 gig!  third, we believe this is real, we believe the Lord is doing this all over the earth, and we realized at the beginning that we could be an example to many many others who feel night and day ministry to the Lord is their full-time calling.

...if we can do it, surely they can do it! (family of 6 now, remember.) 

we have found the dynamics to be very similar to when both moses and david received the heavenly vision to establish on earth what they saw happening in heaven.  they would cast the vision and some people's hearts were stirred.  these people built the house of prayer in their generation.  have you ever wondered why God gave all the gold and silver from egypt during the exodus to the people and not simply to moses or aaron?  He doesn't just want a job done.  He wants the hearts of His people connected to it.  this is why money plays such a dynamic role in our relationship with God.  Jesus even said in the Sermon on the Mount:

for where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.
matthew 6:21

it's a team ministry

some will be called to give their time for the mission, others may be called to an administrative role, and then there will be those who fund it.  all three receive the same reward when it is all said in done because all three joined their hearts with the Lord to see His vision accomplished.  in the Bible, it is extremely rare to find a situation where it was 1 man called to accomplish the mission.  God is into teams.  why?  because He is into people being connected with one another and loving one another.


so, this is what we do.  

this is what helps shape my perspective and the context in which i blog.  you are welcome to ask questions and, if you heart is so stirred, to join with us in one of the 3 parts of the team we are building to build the house of prayer here.

the road to how God led us here is for another post, another day.  

charis