raising lovers of Jesus in the midst of the chaos

have you ever felt overwhelmed by all the world tells us we need to do to raise our kids to be successful well-adjusted members of society?

well, first there is the private school... or if you can't foot the bill then the must of homeschooling.

then there is the college savings account... in our case times that one by 5!  ouch!

don't forget the team sports that take up several nights a week, maybe all night if you have different kids on different teams, and most weekends.

...oh and music lessons.  or art classes.  or drama auditions.

they need that latest and greatest piece of technology... you know, the device that will take average to genius?

remember as well to make them cultured by traveling and experiencing the world around them: visiting art museums and libraries, seeing a ballet, camping, fishing, going to other countries...

and then there is the healthy, whole foods, organic eating at home - you don't want to mess up those young minds or bodies with all the additives in the standard american diet.

the problem is, though none of these are bad in and of themselves, the pressure gets so great and the schedules so full that life becomes more like chaos.  it may be organized chaos, but it is chaos still.

it becomes a distraction of what is of greatest importance - raising lovers of Jesus.

the question we are often left with is, "when do we have time to teach them to love God?  how do we even start in the pursuit of producing lovers of Jesus?"

i am sharing today at 5 minutes for faith on this very issue.  i would love you to drop by and add your thoughts and experiences in the comments over there. 

click here to read more!  hope you can visit me there!


charis

photo credit

tea bags and hot water

photo credit - stock.xchng by egahen

life can be a whirlwind at times.  if i don't brace myself going into a jam-packed season, i tend to get overwhelmed and extremely teary eyed.  i am much like a toddler who experiences sensory overload with buckets of tears and paralyzing melt downs.

i knew these past few weeks would be one of these whirlwind-like seasons.  thankfully i realized this when looking at my schedule beforehand instead of crying to my husband in the middle the all too familiar phrase, i just don't know what is wrong with me? i can't do it! 

though there were still tears, i made it through.  i didn't just put myself on autopilot to get through, but i actually did pretty good at enjoying the craziness instead of dreading it.  yes, there were tears.  there was lack of sleep.  there was a bit too much reliance on caffeine.  but there was also laughter, smiles, moments, and memories made.

my mom told me many times growing up that the Lord would never give us more than we could handle, but oftentimes He would give us more than we thought we could handle.

true.
       true.
              true.
                     so true.

over and over again He has pushed me to that breaking point.  i didn't think i could handle it.  i was overwhelmed by my weakness and what lay ahead.  but He has always known me far better than i have known myself.  and when i am weak, i cry out for the One who is strong.

my husband got me a card in the middle of one of the hardest times of my life that happened to also be during our first year of marriage.  on the front it had a quote by eleanor roosevelt:

a woman is like a tea bag- you never know how strong she is until she gets in hot water. 

i have never thought of myself as strong.  yet, i have been in an awful lot of hot water.


and so, the list continues...

172 - 184:

172. the 6:30 am answered question of "is the chick named susan a rooster?"

173. a very busy couple weeks.

174. family.  family that are my closest friends.

175. cardamom coffee cake to celebrate my hubby's birthday early.

176. a basket of clean towels on the couch.

177. asher's stellar goal at his last soccer game.

178. one of my hats being featured in a treasury on etsy.

179. hand-me-down clothes... for me!

180. the reminder to slow down and spend time with Jesus.

181. david pawson's recorded teachings on the book of habakkuk. (to watch the archived video click here and scroll down to see part one and part two).  gave me a new love for a book of the Bible i hadn't previously ever connected deeply with.

182. celebrating. birthdays. all. month. long.

183. tea bags and hot water.

184. a renewed hope for old dreams.



i am linked up at a holy experience.  come and join in on the party of counting 1000 gifts.  i would love to read your list as well.  if you are visiting from the link up, leave a comment and let me know!

what are you thankful for?
what gift has He given you this week?

charis

2 thoughts on my birthday

a favorite picture of me and my babe by my fabulous sister-in-law for my 30th birthday

birthdays when you have all boys

today is my 32nd birthday.  i bet you didn't think i was that old. (wink).

yesterday my family celebrated my birthday and uriah, my 5 year old, told me when i saw my present i would "melt."  i asked him what it meant to melt.  he said it meant i loved my present very much.

my older two boys have been spelling "m-o-m    i    l-o-v-e   y-o-u" and "m-o-m-m-y    y-o-u    a-r-e    s-o    b-e-a-u-t-i-f-u-l!"  over and over again the past couple days (one of the perks of being a mom to boys.)  my 3 year old david wanted to join in so he started spelling "m-o-m-n-t-m-z    l-m-n-g-b-p   w-x-y-z."  i say, "david, i love you too!"  he says, "mommy, do you know what that means?  it means happy."

though my family is always so thoughtful about gifts and special birthday time (i am a quality time girl to the max!), i think my best birthday present this year it God's protection over my boys each and every day.  last night, while at my sister's house for a bbq, my little beloved david fell off the top step of a step ladder while getting off her trampoline.  he fell head first, literally head first, onto her blacktop concrete below without catching himself at all or breaking his fall.  i will spare you the pictures, though i do have them.  my mama's heart broke seeing him so hurt and all i wanted to do was make sure he was going to be okay and take away his pain.  after icing, motrin, treats, cuddles, checking his pupils multiple times, praying, consulting my sister-in-law who is a nurse and was there, and a little bit of worry in this mama's heart, he is going to be okay.

waking up this morning and reaching over to feel his little hand as he lie next to me in my bed, my heart filled with thankfulness that my little boy is okay.  there are so many worse ways this fall could have turned out than his now shrinking goose egg.  there are many mamas who will be celebrating this upcoming mother's day missing one of their special gifts that made them mothers.  my heart aches with them.

beauty

this morning i read a blog by one of my favorite people that reminded me about true beauty.  she was writing it to her 5 year old daughter, but she was also writing it to me (not knowingly).  she spoke the truth in love.  i am rebuked and thankful for the kind rebuke. you can click below to go to her blog and see just small peaks at how blessed i am to have her as a sister.

any woman reading this blog, and even men, could use this reminder of what beauty really is.  for my 33rd year, i hope to go ahead being thankful for all God has given me and who He made me to be.

here is to the past 32 years of blessings and gifts from God, grace enough for each day, and grace to go ahead.

charis

He who owes me nothing gives me everything

i sit this morning writing as i smell the banana bread for breakfast baking in the oven.  i can hear the soothing sound of chicks peeping in their box in the kitchen.  i look over to my left and see trays of seedings in newspaper pots reaching for light in the window.  a basket of clean towels is waiting to be folded at my feet.  i think about my hard working husband who working his tail off readying our yard to be just a little more self-sufficient this year. 

i am blessed beyond measure.  i am reminded that if we have eyes to see His activity in our lives, we will overflow with thanksgiving.  i want to overflow with thanksgiving in my life.  i want to be one with eyes as a child that look on life with wonder.  i want to overflow with joy. 

i remember that even with all He gives me in this life, nothing compares with the forgiveness of sin and the promise of the curse of death being forever removed.  what will it be like to be raised up and live forever?  what little tastes of this promise does He give me right now to anchor my hope in His return? 

He who owes me nothing gives me everything.

when i realize that it is not God who is in my debt but i who am in His great debt, 
then doesn't all become gift?  ann voscamp

 

every gift He gives now is either a taste of what is to come or a tool to prepare me for then... the day when i will see Him face to face.

72-87:

72. two grocery bags of hand-picked grapefruits from a friend.

73. blue sky accented with fluffy white clouds.

74. the whine of a violin playing the melody of my heart.

75. receiving a word from the Lord through my 7 year old.

76. the opportunity to serve by leading others into His presence in worship.

77. the soft peeping of baby chicks in my kitchen.

78. a candle lit date night in with the kids over at their nonnie and pa's house.

79. aebleskivers and coffee for breakfast.

80. rediscovering parts of myself that had been dormant for the past 10 years.

81. pain receptacles in my hand that tell me to let go of the handle of the cast iron skillet that is burning me.

82. salsa from chevy's.

83. listening to my husband teach the Word.

84. treasures from second-hand stores.

85. still ponds with fresh green grasses and reeds growing up around them and filled with ducks and geese.

86. the clear clean breath after using a neti pot.

87. the promise that He will raise up our bodies to live forever.

i am linked up at a holy experience.  let me know in a comment below that you are taking part and i will visit your blog.

what are you thankful for today?

charis

it's all about perspective

another monday morning.  another week beginning.  how to i approach new beginnings? 

           with dread and anxiety? 

                        or full of expectation and an awareness of God's activity?

i hear the sounds of my boys playing in their room as i hold the youngest one waiting for his heavy eyelids to surrender to sweet slumber.  i feel a stirring inside to connect with the One who gave me life and breath.  will i have the chance to steal away?

i look forward to my time in the shower.  hot water is soothing, but even more so are the moments of connecting with the Lord uninterrupted.  i anticipate the chance to pour out my love on Him and focus my attention before the demands of being a mom consume me and another day slips by without my heart being aligned with His.  the tasks ahead of me are the same; my perspective doesn't have to be.

whoever speaks, is to do so as one who is speaking the utterances of God; whoever serves is to do so as one who is serving by the strength which God supplies; so that in all things God may be glorified through Jesus Christ, to whom belongs the glory and dominion forever and ever. amen. 
                                                                                   1 peter 4:11

this is the life of a christian mom.  whoever speaks... whoever serves...   fresh perspective!  may all i put my hand to be for the glory of the One who gives me life, hope, and joy.

 

i continue counting blessings. how much slips by unnoticed when my eyes are not open to see the gifts He showers all around me all the time.  i open my eyes once again and thanksgiving brings forth praise and expectation.

49-71:

49. a bigger backyard after the structure demo.

50. running water.  twice within 48 hours we have had the water main shut off for 4-6 hours due to burst pipes during the demo in the backyard.

51. brothers that would come help my husband fix the pipes even in the dark.

52. new fun recipes that the kids love such as chicken paprikash.

53. surprise $ in our missionary check this month from a loved one right when we needed it.

54. the Holy Spirit reminding my heart to stop striving and be still.

55. homemade yogurt topped with homemade granola.

56. the baby saying mama when he cries and the privilege to be the one who comforts him.

57. provision to pay for asher's filling he needed this week.

58. sitting in the dentist office reading the book of isaiah on my phone and meditating on the faithfulness of God while asher's teeth were being filled right next to me.

59. email alerts of new comments on my blog.

60. the opportunity to be bad at something so i can learn something new.

61. brothers and sisters that i choose to be my closest friends.

62. toys on the floor showing our house is a home that is lived in.

63. the change of seasons.

64. reading a blog of an old friend that encourages me that my assignment to raise 4 boys to love the Lord is of highest importance and to not grow faint.

65. the color yellow.

66. the timely blessings of friends.

67. sitting on the chocolate brown leather couch surrounded by my 4 little men feeling like the richest woman in the world.

68. pizza sundays at my parents' house.

69. gathering with other families at homegroup and worshiping and studying the Word with our children.

70. the adventure of learning to live by faith.

71. being a missionary in my hometown.



won't you go to a holy experience to link up and join in if you too are a blogger?  let me know in a comment below that you are taking part and i will visit your blog.

what are you thankful for today?

charis

what has He done for you?

                                                                                                                                                                                                 photo credit

i am linking up with some other bloggers (though a day late!) at a holy experience on sharing what we are thankful for - thanks barbie for urging me to join in!  i love to read and hear what other people are thankful for because it stirs up my heart to thanksgiving as well.  do you find this to happen to you as well?

as you know if you have been reading this blog for very long, i love thankful lists!  i am excited to join in and purpose my heart to give thanks in all circumstances and to seek out the things He has done for me and acknowledge them with  my lips (or fingers in this case).  i always think of this verse:

be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication  
with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.
                                                                      philippians 4:6

i personally struggle with the anxious part, so you will find me going back to what i am thankful for over and over again... and then trying the best i can to bring the rest to God in prayer.

i also have been walking around singing the chorus to one of brian johnson's songs on the bethel music newest cd be lifted high:

i remind myself of all that You've done,
and the life i have because of Your Son...
love came down and rescued me
love came down and set me free
i am Yours, i am forever Yours

sometimes i lose vision of all He has done for me and just the fact that i have salvation alone should keep me thankful all day long every day, but i, like every human out there, have to refocus my heart towards thanksgiving over and over and over again.

i think the goal of this challenge is to get to 1000 things we are thankful for... from that new book one thousand gifts (that i haven't read yet, but keep hearing great things about).  so here is the start of my list:

1. eternal life paid by the blood of Jesus for me!

2. the overwhelming response on here and facebook to two of my most recent posts that were two of the most difficult for me to write - the Lord has made me happy and there must be more than this.  thank you!

3. my sister for redesigning my blog!  didn't she do an amazing job?

4. my husband of 9 years tomorrow!  God brought me the perfect balance - one who bring calm to my storms, laughter to my moodiness, leadership and covering in godliness to my family of 4 boys, and the best witness to my life that i could have asked for.

5. my family - immediate and extended.  i realize i often take for granted that i have so much in riches in them and their pursuit of the Lord in their lives, their encouragement in mine, and the amazing heritage of the reality of the verse "as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord" handed down to me for free.

6. the Holy Spirit's constant activity in my heart.

7. a warm cup of tea on a cold morning - pg tips, of course, with honey and milk.

8. hot showers.  by myself, preferably.

9. the ability to play the piano - thank you mom and dad for investing in lessons for me so i could have this great go to when i need to connect with God or just allow my heart to overflow onto the keys.

10. my iphone.  i never thought i would like a smart phone, as i am not much of a technology kind of gal, but my husband gave it to me last year on our anniversary and i have actually enjoyed being so spoiled to have it over the past year.

if you want to join in and link up, click on the link above and follow her instructions on how to join.

what are you thankful for today?  please share in the comment section and let's all encourage each other towards remembering all He has done for us!

charis

simple woman's daybook 3.2.11

 

 

for today:

outside my window...it is raining.  i am sitting in starbucks, just finished up with my isaiah study, and looking at the rain come down.  we need it.  even as much as i don't like getting wet, we need it.  thank you Lord for your blessing upon us in sending the rain.

i am thinking...the faithfulness of God.  i am so thankful His faithfulness is not contingent on the faithfulness or faithlessness of people.  He is faithful because that is who He is!  what a solid place to put my faith.

i am thankful for... supernatural provision.  we had a tough month last month financially (just being rather transparent with all of you, more than i often feel comfortable doing).  we prayed and prayed and prayed for provision.  even on the other side of it i am amazed at how we even got through.  it wasn't easy.  it wasn't instantaneous.  it was painful and slow and exposing of all the cracks in my faith that the Lord wants to fill with Himself and His goodness and care for me.  i am left feeling broken and poor in spirit (matthew 5), but so very thankful that, i said before, His faithfulness isn't up to something inside of me. 


in the midst of a very hard month we had about $600 of unexpected cash gifts from people - some were anonymous and we don't even know who to thank.  if that isn't humbling, i don't know what is.  i don't know if it is harder to know who it is who makes sacrifices to give to us or to not know.  either way i am so extremely thankful to all who were obedient to the leading of the Lord to give so generously to us, not even knowing what a tough time it has been because we are not super quick to share about it. 


besides this, we had someone (bill's parents who are missionaries themselves in guatemala) buy us a brand new refrigerator.  the one we have had the past 7.5 years was left in the house we bought and on its way out even then.  in the midst of such a trying month, we were so blessed and God is reminding me again and again that mere man is not my provider.  He alone is my Provider. 


remembering... to start each day in thankfulness - it changes so much to just simply change my perspective and where i am focusing my attention.  

from the learning rooms... well, we are still in the throws of making the decision of where to send our #2 son to school.  part of me wants him at the school he is at right now, parts wonders it at home would be a better option for this year.  we are seeking the Lord for His direction for this year and trusting He will lead us to make the best choice for him for this season.

from the kitchen... i made a big pot of beef stew last night and i have to say it was the best beef stew i have ever made.  what was the difference you ask?  well, i seasoned the meat with steak seasoning as i browned it, then dry sauted the mushrooms adding white wine when they lost their juices and sooo yummy!  we have enough left to have it again tonight!

i am wearing... my skinny jeans, cute red shoes that i got for christmas, a chunky gray sweater that has a big cowl neck, and a plaid red coat that is honestly my favorite.  i love red as an accent color!

i am creating... this amazing knit scarf... i decided to use big fat needles and skinny little angora/wool yarn.  the effect is a loopy delicate scarf that would be perfect as an accent to any outfit. 

i am going... on a little date tonight.  woohoo!  fun little coffee date with my babe of almost 9 years! 

i am reading... psalms still in my Bible reading challenge.  i must say that as much as i love it, i have been falling behind again because the way you version set up the reading for each day, they assigned like 6 psalms most days and that gets to be a bit more than i can do right now.  when i divided the chapters of the Bible by 365, i got that most days i should be reading 3 chapters to stay on track.  so, that makes me ask, are they only going to have me read 1 chapter at a time when i get to the book of isaiah?! 

i am hoping... to have a good tax appointment tomorrow.  are you all done with your taxes already?  anyone last minute about it?  i am glad our accountant sets up the next year's appointment on the same date as the current appointment or i know i would totally forget and procrastinate until the very last moment.

i am hearing... the sounds of starbucks music and conversation all around me.  it is busy here today.

around the house... i am so needing the motivation i had a couple weeks ago for organizing.  i dug into a dreaded hall closet that had become a catch all, and i am about half done with a box of things now sitting in the hall that need a permanent home.  unfortunately, i have been lacking both time and motivation to find it for them.  for some reason i would rather things out of sight and out of mind than sitting there in the hallway reminding me that i haven't finished what i started.  i am resisting the temptation to just shove them back into the closet and forget about them.

  
one of my favorite things... is a warm meal on a cold day. 


pondering... this quote from a Bible scholar by the name of grogan from the isaiah study i am doing:

it is a strange paradox that nothing makes a being less like God than the urge to be His equal, for He who was God stepped down from the throne of his glory to display to the wondering eyes of men the humility of God (Phil 2:5-8).

a few plans for the rest of the week:  tomorrow is the dreaded tax appointment.  for some reason i always dread it, but always feel such relief when it is over.  i had a new niece born yesterday, so i hope to see her at some point later this week.  i am watching another niece for my sister on friday.  have i ever mentioned that i have 12 nieces and 3 nephews.  is something a bit strange about this picture?  12 nieces! (including 2 in utero)... yet i only have boys.  crazy!

picture for the day:

here is the outfit i wore today so you can get a look.  are you a fan of skinny jeans?  i wasn't until i wore them.  yes, i know... i am such a follower.  hahaha! 

more of the simple woman's daybook.  

charis

the Lord has made me happy

this is the story of how God brought me joy in one of my darkest hours.  it is a story celebrating the lives of two great men - my grandpa and my oldest son asher.  i hope that by letting you in on such a personal part of my journey, you too can find joy in whatever you are walking through.

nine months pregnant at my grandpa's memorial service - we all wore one of his ties in honor of him

seven years ago i was walking through one of the hardest seasons on my life.  my grandpa was diagnosed in the fall of 2003 with an inoperable malignant tumor and pancreatic cancer.  we found this out the morning after getting home from a trip to st. louis, where we missed our flight in san francisco and ended up sleeping on the floor of the airport because we couldn't afford a hotel, i was pregnant, and had terrible food poisoning from bad chinese food.  i was sleeping on my mom's couch terribly sick, waiting for the good report after my grandpa's routine gall stone surgery.  instead i was told the news you never want to hear.  my food poisoning got so bad that the same night i ended up in the same hospital my grandpa was in recovering from his surgery and processing the "c" word diagnosis.  what a horrible monday.

the next few months were some of the hardest i have walked through in my 31 years.  my family believes that God's will is still to heal every disease, just like when Jesus was walking on this earth, and so we stood for healing in the midst of a hopeless diagnosis from the medical community.  we knew that God would have to do a miracle.  my faith was stretched almost to the breaking point, like a tightly stretched rubber band.  many times i thought i would snap.  i had such intense nausea from pregnancy, was teaching full-time the hardest class i had ever taught, was hospitalized twice during pregnancy because i couldn't keep anything down or in, and was at my grandparents' house nearly every day praying for healing and for God to intervene.


it was not the way i expected my first pregnancy to go.  i didn't have the normal excitement/anticipation that first time moms experience.  i didn't nest at all while pregnant with my first son.  instead i had intense emotion.  intense vomiting.  intense battle with fear.  intense prayers similar to the psalmist when he cried out to the Lord for his very life.  intensity was the main theme to my first pregnancy, not excited anticipation.

and yet, this was the baby i had prayed for as long as i could remember.  when i was a young teenager the Lord prompted my heart to pray for my son asher.  i didn't yet have a son, for i was only a young teen who only had hopes of getting married and having a family, but i felt so strongly i was to pray for this specific baby by name.  i felt strongly that i was to pray for him from the book of the revelation of Jesus chapters 2 and 3, where Jesus sent 7 letters to 7 churches.  i felt i was to pray for him to be an overcomer.  you see, God spoke to my heart that my son would live in the last days of this age and i was to pray for him to overcome and see the rewards Jesus promised to overcomers.

my grandpa died 3 1/2 weeks before asher was born.  i was privileged to be there with him not only during literally his final moments, but almost constantly for the last couple weeks of his life.  my whole family on my mom's side ended up "moving in" to my grandparents' house, camping out on the floor with babies and all.  i had first rights to the bathroom, since i was due any day and was one of the few who got to sleep on a bed.   one of the most amazing and yet saddest experiences for me during those last days was when my grandpa laid hands on each one of us and gave us his blessing.  he even laid hands on my belly and blessed asher.  that meant so much to me.  one of the hardest things for me after asher was born was the fact that my grandpa just barely missed meeting my baby.   i am so thankful that he laid hands on him and blessed him.

the morning after the night my grandpa died, i went to my baby shower.  many of my family members told me it would be okay if i canceled it and that people would understand, but as hard as it was to go after what i had been through it was important to me to go.  in the months of pain and grieving not only my grandpa's death but even the horrible disease that he was fighting, i hadn't really celebrated the life i was carrying within me.  i needed to go to the shower for asher.  you see, in a strange way it was like the psalmist said, though there is pain in the night, joy comes in the morning.  i wouldn't say that the shower was full of laughter and what most would consider joy.  my eyes were puffy and swollen, my face tear-stained, and my mind foggy from grief.  but the name of the child i was carrying within me was happy.  God had told me 10 years before he was born that his name was to be happy.  his name was joy.  the Lord has made me happy.  asher was the joy that came in the morning.  joy wasn't an outward expression or even a feeling.  for me, the joy in the morning was my son.

happy.  the Lord has made me happy. in my pain and disappointment, in my grief,  in my questions and doubt and hard-hit faith the Lord gave me a child named happy.

it is so interesting to me that i went into labor on my grandpa's birthday and had asher the next day on my grandma's birthday.  most my family was hoping and praying that asher would be born on grandpa's birthday, february 11th, and i felt intense pressure to control something completely out of my control.  but God had His timing and it was good.  laboring all night i again experienced the reality of pain in the night, but joy in the morning.  at 8:38am, with the warm rays of morning sunlight coming through the eastern window of my delivery room, asher made me a mama for the first time.

asher being born on my grandma's birthday, seven years ago today, brought her joy as well in the midst of pain.  God's timing is always perfect.

God already had His hand on this little baby before he was even born in so many ways.  besides urging me to pray for him 10 years before he was born, we later found out that He led some bethel school of ministry students to pray in room 312 of the hospital he was born in about a week before his birth... the very room he was delivered in!  asher completely stopped breathing at 4 hours old, turning purple and limp in my arms while i nursed him for the second time ever.  never in all my life will i forget that moment or the image that haunted me for over a month every time i would blink my eyes.  asher had a brush with death, but God had other plans.  sometimes i wonder if this was one of the reasons why God urged me to pray for my son asher to be an overcomer.

asher, i am so honored to be your mom and that God would entrust me to raise you and guide you towards Him.  you are an overcomer in every sense of the word.  God has a plan for you and a reason why He did not take you home to be with Him on that day.  i take it extremely seriously and want you to know that you belong to Him alone and He is the keeper of your life.

you are so much like your grandpa great.  i believe that a part of the mantle he carried to be a full time minister to the Lord was passed on to you when he prayed for you while you were still in my womb.  you were called to be set apart for the purposes of the Lord.  you will never lead an ordinary life.  many times you may ask me why you don't do things like everyone else.  son, i will remind you, those who live ordinary lives don't ever do the extraordinary.  you were called to extraordinary.


you are an intercessor and carry a healing anointing.  when we would pray for my grandpa and you were in my womb, you would move and get excited whenever someone would start praying for healing.  you could feel the Holy Spirit even then son!  you have always loved to pray!

you are my happy boy.  did you know you laughed before they say a baby should laugh?  not a little laugh, but a giant boisterous belly laugh, just like my grandpa!  oh you have brought me so much joy in the smack middle of so much pain.  you brought comfort to my heart.  you ministered healing to your mama's heart even in your young age.  the Lord has made me happy by giving me you. 

i love you asher ian.  you made me a mama.  i can't believe you are already seven and yet in some ways i can't believe you are only seven.  you are such a man of God and your desire is already to give Him everything.  you carry so much wisdom, strength, humility and joy beyond your years.  i believe you will be anointed with the oil of joy, just like Jesus, because you love what He loves and hates what He hates.

i love you asher.  

here are some my favorite pictures, not entirely in age order but close...  thank you for allowing me to share part of my journey with you my readers.  i would love your comments below on how God has brought you joy in the midst of dark times or ways He has brought you hope that He cares for you.   

 if He did it for me, He will do it for you. 


charis