when you have white paper and a bit of red paint

there is something that has always attracted me about a bit of brightly colored paint on stark white paper.  i enjoy all the aspects of art, being primarily a musical artist myself, but something about paint always speaks to me.

maybe it is the way that even when a child uses paint on paper, something magical happens... something is released from inside that you may not otherwise know was there.

and even the drips and the imperfections

                         - or maybe especially the drips and imperfections -

                                 they remind me of the Artist, the Creator, who made

each fingerprint,

each sunset,

each snowflake

unique.

the beauty in art and in His creation is how it is never quite the same.  no two are quite alike.  God, the Master Artist, didn't run out of ideas and have to make carbon copies.  No, He keeps life interesting and exciting with the depth of the display of His creativity.

and to think, we have only scratched the surface of beholding His beauty in this fallen world still plagued by the curse of sin.  someday... someday we will really see a beauty to behold.

it is all a gift.  thank you God that life is never boring with you - it is all a part of the masterpiece you are creating and we get to be a part.  to taste in part of the wonders of who you are, oh Master Creator, makes me want more and more of you.


still counting gifts to 1000...

450 - 492:

450. great teachings on finances by mike bickle.  challenges me to be stretched in my giving.

451. holding my husband's hand under the covers when i am afraid.

452. that Jesus is the Rebuilder of broken bridges, the Healer of broken hearts, and the One who can bring Restoration and Reconciliation to broken relationships... it is His business and He is good at it.

453. the sweet and tart taste of citrus in the winter.

454. the blessing of teaching piano from my home.

455. the pleasant soothing smells of warm and spicy, yet fruity, home fragrance oils burning.

456. great conversation around the dinner table talking about the high lights of our days - the good parts, the bad parts, the sad parts, and the super duper parts.

457. glorious sun rays peaking out from behind clouds after the rain.

458. finally sitting down on the couch after a long, busy day.

459. salted chocolate. now that is just good.

460. an opportunity to guest post this week at five minutes for faith.

461. deep, slow breaths when i am losing my patience.

462. a generous neighbor who brought us a box full of oranges from their tree.

463. the opportunity to eat something that might not be my first choice, but God provided it and i am thankful to be out of my comfort zone.

464. when sick kids get well.

465. for strength to do the tasks at hand.

466. my beloved david turning 4 last saturday.

467. a rare afternoon nap for myself.

468. a decent night sleep after several very poor and interrupted ones.

469. free glass jars to store more food in our freezer.

470. a former piano student starting back up again.

471. rain forecast for tomorrow.

472. a lovely 2.6 mile walk with 3 of my little ones to go buy new knitting needles to make a hat for the new little one we have yet to meet.

473. the anticipation with which my boys look forward to their dates with their daddy.

474. constant reminders that God really is trustworthy.

475. watching my oldest push the stroller of my current youngest and the sweet way he cares for his little brother.

476. all 6 of us (7 counting little one in the belly) snuggled up together on the couch watching a movie.

477. making requested birthday dinners - loving the particular preferences of each of my kids.

478. the way each of my kids have changed my life in their own unique way.  i will never be the same.

479. the gentle uneven flicker of a candle.

480. new bamboo knitting needles just waiting to make something.

481. a great deal for stocking up on grade b organic maple syrup.

482. the warm musty smell of wool yarn.

483. He answers every prayer.  He hears me when i call.

484. listening to my 4 year old recite the Word by memory.

485. holding my 18 month old when he falls asleep.

486. my 8 years of being a mom.

487. asher turning 8!

488. my wonderful grandma who is 83 years old and shares a birthday with asher.

489. more rain which we have needed!

490. looking up at the bright stars against a dark sky far away from any street lights.  beauty!

491. sharing at our house of prayer monthly gathering about the biblical view of money... so much great discussion that we will get to part 2 next month.

492. the wonders you can make with white card stock and red paint.

i am linked up at a holy experience. i would love to hear from you in the comments below!

charis

my boys

boys.  my 3 boys.  my sweet loving boys.

there is something to be said for being the only female in a house full of boys.  besides remaining quite mysterious in the way i function in sharp contrast to the popular rough and tough tumbling and wrestling activities, i have a special place in the home.  i am the sole recipient of the loving adoration of 3 sweet boys (and 1 amazing husband).

my 2nd born, uriah, is especially tender and thoughtful in his words towards me.  often i will hear this little one spontaneously say, "you are just beautiful mama." 

"that is beautiful makeup you are wearing."

"mama, you have the most beautiful eyes."

"that is the most beautiful shirt mama!  it looks so pretty on you."

"mama, you are the most beautifulest girl in the whole world.  i love you so, so, so, so much."

and how can the heart of any woman resist swelling with love when she is privileged to receive the unrestrained love of a child?  these big blue eyes, pouty lips, and head of loose blond curls gets me every time. 

then regardless of the big people world that rushes around me clamoring for my attention and affections, everything stands still in the moment this soft voice offers up his words of love.  all that seemed so big and overwhelming is suddenly small and of little importance.  my heart is filled with joy.

charis

humility

i love that there are 4 gospels written by 4 different men. they each saw an angle on the life and teachings of Jesus and each chose from so many stories and events exactly what they felt moved by the Holy Spirit to emphasize.

i think it is so interesting in my recent reading of the gospel according to luke that the first story he chose to write on, the only gospel writer who included a story giving us a glimpse of Jesus as a child, was one on His humility.

in luke 2 we read about one of the many times when Jesus and his family went to Jerusalem for the feast of passover. luke mentions that Jesus was 12 years old, which i think is very significant to his story. we know that Jesus was strong; He was filled with wisdom, and the grace of God was upon Him. (luke 2:40) He already was no ordinary child. as much as Jesus was fully man, He was at the same time fully God.

in the hustle and bustle of a busy celebration in the capitol city of jerusalem, it is not hard for me as a parent of 3 young boys to imagine mary and joseph losing track of young Jesus. in my perspective, they probably assumed He was with another family member, with His brothers, or some of His friends. although my oldest child right now is only 5, i do not imagine them being overly concerned that Jesus would wander off from the group at the age of 12. in fact, luke records that they actually traveled home with their group who came up from nazareth for an entire day before they realized He was missing.

when they got back to jerusalem, probably an entire day of traveling back (making it 2 days without their son at that point), it took them another 3 whole days to track Him down. the panic that would set into any mom's heart at that point would be tremendous. i mean, even though they knew Jesus was the messiah that was promised to come, we have to remember that His parents were just like us with the emotions, fears, and struggles as parents.

in luke 2:46 the story continues:

after three days they found Him in the temple courts, sitting among the teachers, listening to them and asking them questions. everyone who heard Him was amazed at His understanding and His answers. When His parents saw Him, they were astonished. His mother said to Him, "son, why have you treated us like this? your father and i have been anxiously searching for you."
"why were you searching for me?" He asked. "didn't you know i had to be in my Father's house?"

it is amazing to me to see that at the young age of 12, before most boys hit puberty, Jesus was filled with so much strength, wisdom, and grace of God that He was ready for public ministry. He was fully God, and yet fully man; so young, and yet so ready. so why do we not read another story of Jesus teaching, ministering, fulfilling His calling in His first coming until He is thirty years old?

but they did not understand what He was saying to them. luke 2:50

mary and joseph, the two parents God the Father entrusted the care of Jesus to did not recognize that He was ready. of all the people in the world who seem to should have seen Jesus for who He was and support what He was going to do as the Messiah that had been promised for ages, it would seem that those closest to Him, his very family, would recognize His wisdom, His annointing, His time. but they did not. they did not understand why He would be in the temple courts and felt that He has disrepected them as His parents. they were hurt by what He had done.

so what did Jesus do? this is the part that blows my mind.

then He went down to nazareth with them and was obedient to them. but his mother treasured all these things in her heart. luke 2:51

of all people, Jesus had the right to do what He was called to do when He was fully able. Jesus, the Son of God, the Messiah, had every right to demand His rights and recognition of man. but He did not demand it. He did not explain Himself to save His reputation. He did exactly what was demanded of Him and His humility was so powerful that it is the only other time it is written of His mother mary that she treasured these things in her heart. He moved the hearts of those who did not give Him recognition, respect, or value His abilities and giftings by choosing to humble Himself and be obedient when He had done no wrong.

Jesus chose to wait another 18 years to go into public ministry because He valued humility and honoring those who God had chosen for Him as His earthly authority. i am so moved by His humility because He didn't have to do it. He did not have to go back to nazareth, where it is recorded people never did recognize Him as any more than the carpenter's son. He chose a life of hiddenness, humility, and servanthood, choosing to give honor instead of demanding honor and He didn't have to do it. He did not retreat home in weakness and shame. no. humility is not weakness, it is strength restrained by choice.

the amazing thing to me is that He did it as so much more than to be an example to me of how to live my life, though i do believe that is true. He chose humility because that is who He is. He is humble. in philippians 2, the apostle paul wrote:

although He existed in the form of God, He did not regard equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied Himself, taking the form of a bond-servant, {and} being made in the likeness of men. being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross. for this reason also, God highly exalted Him, and bestowed on Him the name which is above every name...

how often in our american culture do we hear it encouraged from anywhere that we should put ourselves on the backseat and allow our strengths and what we have to offer be overlooked? how often are we instead encouraged to show off all that we excel in and to grasp for our place in the spotlight? yet, Jesus is humble in everything He is, and because of His humility God exalted Him. our world does not esteem humility. i know that i personally struggle with esteeming the path of humility in my own life. so many other focuses for my life seem so much more attractive.

luke thought the humility of Jesus so important that it was the very first thing he highlighted about Him. God finds the humility of Jesus so important that He gives Him the highest seat for all eternity and gives Him the name above all names. every knee will bow before Him one day and recognize with the words of our own mouths that this humble man who we would be tempted to despise as weak is the strongest man that exists.

and Jesus grew in wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and men. luke 2:52

as much as i may never understand how Jesus would need to grow as the Godman, He grew as a direct result of His humility. His humility gained Him favor with God and with men. as we gaze on the humility of Jesus, may we grow in humility in our own lives. teach us to esteem humility as you esteem humility Father, that we would grow in wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and men.

read more on the journey of humility in a vision for fullness of joy

charis

His mercy is everlasting

the one thing i hope to never have is regret. yet here as i am soon turning 30, i am reflecting on my life and the choices i have made, words i have said, and actions... and i find regret. as i look back, i mourn the lack of righteousness in key moments in my life. there are certain memories that i wish i could go back and have a "redo" to fix the messes i caused.

one such situation is my relationship with my sister when we were kids. i am not even sure the details of ages and situations because of my blurry memory, but at some point when we were kids i switched from being childhood friends with her to trying to push her out of my life. now having kids and watching the sibling dynamics between the younger looking up to the older and trying so hard to copy their every move to win the affections of the older, my heart mourns my lack of kindness towards my own sister. what i saw as annoying and her surely copying me to get under my skin, i now realize was the love and adoration of the little sister to the older sister. and i was so cruel. i pushed her away. i mean, yes, all siblings bicker and struggle, but i feel like in my immaturity and selfish attitude i pushed away her love towards me and wounded her when she was just trying to be like me because she loved me.

foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child; the rod of discipline will remove it far from him. proverbs 22:17

through this difficult stage in our relationship, made difficult mainly by me, our mom would tell us to love each other because when we grew up we would be good friends. just recently, my sister found an old journal entry of hers and read it to me. she had written something about how my mom had told her that we would someday be good friends, but that she didn't believe her because she didn't think i would ever like her. to hear her perspective of how i hurt her in her writing as a kid broke my heart! i now look back on the rocky parts of our relationship and i can see how i have reaped what i have sown. i also look back and i am amazed at the mercy and kindness of God that my sister is now my closest friend even though i do not deserve it. in realizing my own brokenness as a human on a deeper level over the past few days, i am brought to tears. even my best efforts are filthy rags. yet He is faithful beyond what i could ever deserve.

blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.
blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth.
blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be filled.
blessed are the merciful, for they shall receive mercy.
blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God.
blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God.
blessed are those who have been persecuted for righteousness sake, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
blessed are you when people insult you and persecute you, and falsely say all kinds of evil about you because of Me,
rejoice and be glad for your reward in heaven is great, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you. matthew 5

right now i feel like i am keenly aware that i am poor in spirit and i am in the midst mourning of my own brokenness. the good news is, not only will i receive the kingdom of heaven when i can recognize my own poverty of spirit, but He is my comforter when i mourn. i cannot go back and change my decisions, but i can choose to live a life more filled with the fragrance and fruit of Jesus now in my life, as well as thank the Lord for His mercy and goodness in my relationship with my sister in spite of my mistakes and failures.

for the Lord is good, and His mercy is everlasting and His truth endures to all generations. psalm 100

i love you nichole! you are my sister and my friend. thank you for loving me.

charis

eyes of a child

whoever humbles himself as this child, he is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. matthew 18:4

today reminds me of the wonder of the gospel. it is such a simple message, so simple that Jesus often referred to the faith of a child when He spoke of what it took to receive salvation and enter into His kingdom. when i think about the hope that this weekend offers to those who believe, i am reminded at how it can seem like such foolishness to those who still have not chosen to follow Jesus and yet such a simple truth to a child.

we both celebrated passover last night with the feast of unleavened bread, roasted lamb and all, and then celebrated His resurrection today. i have felt a new level of revelation of the wonder of this gift of life and reconciliation to God that Jesus offered in His humility - truly the greatest of all becoming the least for my sake. as we broke the matzo bread last night, i remembered His words, "this is My Body, broken for you." as we poured the cup, "this is My Blood of the new covenant..." to think that God put the passover sedar in place for all that time before He sent Jesus as a prophecy of what He would do for us, what He would become for us. such simplicity and yet so hidden without childlike eyes.

and so, during this season of remembrance of His death and resurrection, let us all become more childlike and grow in the wonder of the gospel. the good news.

He has risen. He has risen indeed.

side note: i just watched this short commentary on this weekend by glenn beck and found it very appropriate to what i am writing about- enjoy.

charis