Saturday, October 29, 2011
a list of random thoughts
1. i just love misty edwards devotional sets on the kansas city international house of prayer web-streaming archives. most nights i have misty sing me to sleep. even as i write this post i am listening to misty's most recent devotional set in hopes that she will sing my sleepy one year old to sleep right now.
2. i have been making dinners for my family again for about a week and a half. this is something i am extremely proud of (silly, i know!) - it means i am starting to get some sort of energy and motivation back. no worries, no super woman pregnant mama here! i still have piles of clean clothes everywhere, with piles of dirty laundry in-between, bills are still being paid late because i forget what day it is and what day they are due, my bedroom is still way too dusty to even believe i am confessing here to all the world, my minivan seems to be the bottomless pit (don't fall in, the junk may bury you alive)... but dinners are being made and my family is eating well again.
3. my little one sucks his thumb and i just love it. it is one of my favorite things. i sucked my thumb until i was almost 7 and, if truth be known, i would suck my thumb today if it were socially acceptable. it is just that comforting. (am i being a bit too real right now?)
4. i am reading this great devotional book called with Christ in the school of prayer by andrew murray. it has 30 short chapters so i imagine most people could get through it in one short month. i am taking my time, but am really enjoying it. i feel like it is stretching my understanding of prayer and really encouraging me at the same time. i have been talking to the Father about what i am reading and i feel like it will change the way i approach my conversations with God.
5. last year i did this awesome homemade gift christmas where almost everything i gave was made by me. now, it was not every last gift, but almost and it was both cost effective and really fun. this year my budget would need to do it again, but i have been having the hardest time getting much done. someone told me a couple days ago that it was only 60 days left until christmas. i have like 2 gifts made... of many many gifts i will have to figure out for all our various christmas events. even crocheting a hat has proved very difficult for my pregnancy brain. i keep making the silliest mistakes and can't seem to focus on what i am doing. so... we will see how many homemade gifts i will actually get done.
6. good news about a couple homemade birthday gifts though - i successfully made homemade play dough for the first time. i used kool-aid which made it smell like frosting and while i was mixing it on the stove and wondering if it would ever start looking like play dough and less like frosting, i almost forgot what i was making. it was a success though and i made new play dough for my own kids while i was at it.
7. i have a fresh chicken sitting in my fridge that needs to be cooked but we don't eat lunch or dinner here on sundays. i guess i will have to cook it anyways and then maybe save the meat for monday? oh wait, i don't think we are eating dinner here on monday either. bummer.
8. did you ever know about my love of fall and everything pumpkin? we don't carve pumpkins but we do roast so many during the fall and eat pumpkin like it is going out of style. mmmm. so far we have made a curry pumpkin soup and 3 loaves of pumpkin bread (2 had chocolate chips as a guilty pleasure in an otherwise good for you treat). pumpkin food makes me smile.
9. every time someone hears i am pregnant that i don't know, they ask me if it my 1st. when i hear, "no, it is my 5th," come out of my mouth and see the shock on their faces, i am still in a bit of shock myself. i mean, 5 sounds like a lot right? adding just 1 more little one to the 4 already running around doesn't seem that different, but then saying the number 5?!!! i must be crazy, right? but somehow it just sneaked up on me one child at a time and here we are... 5 kids in 8 years this next april!
10. well, misty worked her magic again. little one is asleep and snoring. gosh, i hope i don't snore while i listen to her all night long.
11. i am not that great of a list maker. it seems that lists should be short, concise and to the point. i am always way too wordy for that and need to add lots of description to each number on my list.
12. we are in a ton of transition right now. our house of prayer that we oversee is in the midst of changing from a house of prayer that has met at our home church for the past few years to a citywide house of prayer. transition, no matter how good it is and how much God is clearly involved is always painful. i mean, take it from me, someone who have experienced 4 "real" transitions (labor is where they get that term, right???) and am about to experience another one in a few short months, that saying there is "pressure" is just a way to describe pain when you don't want someone to be afraid of the actual real pain. it is hard and painful and yet usually anytime there is transition it is because a very very good thing is coming (like a new baby). oh lovely fun transition.
13. eggplant. if i have never told you how i adore eggplant, especially prepared the indian way, then i really should have told you before now. i adore eggplant.
14. i am up way too late... way past my bedtime. maybe that is evidence that i am getting some energy back. but let's not exaggerate - i am not full of energy, so this should wrap up soon so i can go to bed.
15. i am tired. so tired. i think i have been tired for the past 8.5 years with ups and downs from tired to even more tired. another reason i should go to bed while the above mentioned baby is sleeping.
16. good night!
charis
Labels:
christian mom,
prayer,
pregnancy,
random thoughts
Monday, September 26, 2011
when the curse is reversed
photo by epSos.de
i am incredibly thankful right now. i am 11.5 weeks pregnant with my #5 kiddo, and i am doing so much better than i could have ever imagined. i know that may not strike some people as incredible, but it is so beyond what i could ever even believe the Lord for... for me.
i know there are some out there that believe in supernatural childbirth and supernatural pregnancy, but i have never had one of those. i have had such a rough experience in real pain and hard times overall in the whole process of growing and birthing a child, that it is huge for me to try to muzzle my mouth to not complain and strengthen offense that tries to reside hidden in my heart. keep the mouth shut.
i know i am on a different page that many on this issue, but i don't actually believe the curse from genesis has been reversed. i am sure that people get a down payment taste of what it will be like, but the curse is a very real thing and when it is actually fully canceled, no woman will have to muster up all the faith she can to "believe" for a painless childbirth and child-rearing. when the curse is reversed, man will no longer toil with the ground and have it bear thorns. my backyard garden is plain testimony that the curse is still in full swing. when the curse is reversed, there will be no more death.
death was the curse put on man when he rebelled. but He promised a day was coming when there would be...
no.
more.
death.
not by naming and claiming it. no. we will live forever and all the pain and suffering and fruitless labor of this life will finally be behind us.
and the little taste that i have right now of a pregnancy without vomiting really does put my hope in the resurrection to come - the time when He will literally raise up my body and i will be able to do all the things i have longed to do without the limitations i have faced all my life. it is exciting to have a small taste and think... wow, and it is going to be so much better than this!
it makes me long for the day when we will really live, not in shadow but in full light. it makes me long to be reunited with those who have gone ahead and see those who ended so broken in bodies that are finally whole and see them skip and jump and dance and laugh, taking full deep breaths and know that we will never have the pain of parting again. i wonder where we will explore first. there are so many places on this earth that i am sure i will not have the time to see and so many i would love to see again, and He is going to make the earth new and more beautiful than the most beautiful places i have seen right now. that is unimaginable.
it makes me long to see my Savior face to face and finally really know Him the way i have longed to know Him. i am so broken right now and there are so many times when i long to press into Him, but my weakness and my inability to do the things i so long to do cause me to fail at the one thing i want most. this hope of finally seeing Him on His day motivates me to press on rather than wallow in days past that may not have gone as i would have liked.
knowing i am broken is not supposed to bring me shame. really that is just pride masking itself because it is somehow thinking i can do it on my own. knowing i am broken is to cause me to lean on the only One who can give me the grace to overcome.
He is so good to me.
334 - 346:
334. a helpful husband who has been bearing the brunt of the load of the house for the past decent amount of time while i have had so little energy being pregnant. a gem of a man.
335. the Lord bringing needed provision... yet again.
336. my 4 boys who are growing up way too fast... time is flying by and i hope i am staying present enough to enjoy the time i have right now.
337. a heart for the sweet baby we have been praying for.
338. the grace and energy to run errands today that needed to get done.
339. the accomplishment on my 2 oldest boys' faces when they placed in their school's jog-a-thon - hard work and perseverance.
340. sleep when i am so tired.
341. reminders to focus my life on the things that really matter.
342. reading with Christ in the school of prayer by andrew murray and getting a fresh revelation on the mystery of the almighty God of the universe who calls Himself our Father.
343. a small taste of cooler weather in the middle of all this heat.
344. the relatively small amount of nausea i have had to battle this pregnancy. i am seriously feeling so blessed and undeserving for the extra grace i have had this time around.
345. watching my boys play with their sports cards. hearing their cute candid chatter about the players, the positions, the stats, and loving that they have so much fun with it all.
346. in the midst of realizing how weak i am to do what i would like to do, the grace He gives me to not give up but to keep going step by step... day by day.
i am linked up at a holy experience. i would love to hear from you in the comments below!
charis
Monday, September 5, 2011
coming next april...
photo by Amaury Henderick
besides the fact that life has been busy with summer ending and school starting, i have a big reason for why i haven't been blogging much lately. well, right now that reason is only the size of a green olive, but it is making a big impact on our lives.
we are having another baby!
i know some people may think we are crazy to have 5 kids, to venture into life as a family of 7, but we feel so blessed that the Lord would entrust us with another of His little ones to steward and nurture and teach about Him. so very blessed. i admit that having 5 kids in 8 years sounds crazy even to me! i have figured out that i will be about 36 weeks pregnant on our 10 year anniversary... now that throws a kink in a 10 year getaway doesn't it? i am thinking we will need to celebrate at 11 years like it was our 10 year.
i also feel blessed that so far this has been my best pregnancy. pregnancy and i do not get along well. with simeon i was throwing up for 24 of the 40 weeks - 6 months folks. i ended up having other not so fun issues as well. each and every one of my pregnancies i have been terribly sick for a long time.
but this time it has been quite manage-able. sure there has been nausea, but it seems like i can settle it down by eating. other pregnancies i would eat and throw up anyway.
so, i have been told 5 is a number of grace. maybe this is my grace pregnancy? that sounds awesome to me! regardless of the reasons why, i have had extra grace this time around and i am so thankful. there are so many people who have been praying for me and i can feel it.
i will be still be blogging from time to time, especially in sharing what i am thankful for because even with feeling much better i am feeling the need to focus on keeping my heart thankful with surging hormones messing with my emotions. for the next couple weeks i am mainly focusing on resting and keeping this body healthy so that the rest of my pregnancy can go well. i am hoping to get the 2nd trimester boost in about a month. who know... maybe then i will blog more than ever before because of extra energy?! (perhaps wishful thinking, but that would be awesome!)
thank you for hanging with me as i embark on yet another great adventure.
317 - 333:
317. the free tickets to the san francisco giants game that bill got for coaching t-ball and that he got to take all 3 of our older boys!
318. the awkward nature of transition.
319. my fully walking baby boy.
320. fresh peaches from farmer's market.
321. the wonderful school that asher and uriah are blessed to attend.
322. great trips down to fremont to visit convergence house of prayer.
323. air conditioning and shade trees on hot august days.
324. surprises.
325. our new baby who is expected to make an arrival sometime in the middle of april!
326. sleep. can't seem to get enough of it these days.
327. an amazing, supportive, patient, helpful husband who is helping me get through this pregnancy each day.
328. a new piano student who seems like a great fit.
329. chickens who are laying eggs every day now.
330. my amazing, supportive, caring family.
331. the faithful provision of the Lord day by day.
332. that He is a rewarder of the things unseen.
333. having all the kids home this holiday morning.
i am linked up at a holy experience.
any new adventures going on with any of you?
charis
Labels:
mulititudes on mondays,
pregnancy,
thankful
Thursday, August 25, 2011
quick update
it has been a long time since my last post. we have been out of town quite a bit lately (see picture above of beautiful santa cruz!) besides the travel (and a horrible stomach bug that hit our whole family), life has been busy and i haven't found the way to balance everything else and blogging. it feels as if so much of our life is in transition on so many levels and when it isn't the time i am short on, it is the brain power to write a thoughtful post.
so, this is not my most thought out post, but i wanted to let you all know i am still alive, i am still planning on blogging, and i still have topics i am excited to write about. it just may take me a week or two to get the rest of life sorted out to some place of getting a good routine again.
good news: i am almost finished with my Bible reading challenge - i am a bit behind but i am in 1 john, so the end is in sight! i am trying to decide what my next plan for Bible reading/study will be. i am still in the middle of an intensive study on the book of isaiah, but i need more than that to keep me fueled. any ideas? i would love to hear your suggestions in the comments below.
hard to believe that summer is drawing to a close and school has begun. so much of me mourns the seasons passing, but i must say i also enjoy the next ones as well. i am never one, however, to wish my summer away.
hope you all are doing well. i will write more soon!
charis
Monday, August 1, 2011
only enough time to be thankful
photo by myriah grubbs
i have so much on my mind and heart to write about and i just haven't had the time i would like to sit down and get it all down here to share with you all. hopefully this means some really good blog posts are coming up as soon as i get some decent time to work through the thoughts in this brain.
for now, i am simply going to share the things i am thankful for as i continue to count the graces He has given me in my life - some small, some huge, and some disguised as hardship. sharing this list every monday has impacted my heart so much! the opportunity to stop and recognize His constant activity in my life is worth more than gold.
291 - 316 :
291. the free t-ball league the boys are playing in this summer.
292. connecting time with some of our partners over coffee and desserts.
293. discovering the tomato worms so i could rescue the remaining tomatoes they haven't already destroyed.
294. feeding the gross worms to my chickens.
295. fun 1st birthday party!
296. watching simeon take his sweet first steps and grow in confidence each time he tries.
297. the opportunity to be a faithful witness of the cross.
298. the encouragement of the Lord to my heart during worship this morning, "will you be a picture of my forgiving love in the midst of mistreatment?" the honor (and struggle) of living like Jesus.
299. fresh produce during the summer.
300. connecting with an out of town friend i haven't seen for a year and a half.
301. my cozy little home and rowdy big family that fills it.
302. swimming on scorching hot days.
303. the weekly opportunity to partner my heart with the Lord's in praying for israel at our friday night house of prayer set devoted to praying for their salvation.
304. being almost done with my Bible reading challenge! i can't believe i have almost finished and i didn't quit!
305. my family God has blessed me with on both sides.
306. memorizing the Word with my kids - through the 1st 3 psalms and about to start the 4th!
307. fresh picked blackberries.
308. fresh fruit smoothies for lunch.
309. the faithfulness of His tenderness to my heart when i turn to Him.
310. the courage to speak the truth in love when i would rather allow the fear of man to silence His urgings.
311. real joy.
312. a husband who still pursues my heart, after almost 10 years of marriage and 11 years of knowing each other.
313. letting go of the things i thought i needed to be happy.
314. the Lord correcting me through the words of my son.
315. the Lord coming through at the 11th hour once again.
316. the challenges of living on support as intercessory missionaries with a large family - opportunity to see God move on our behalf.
i am linked up at a holy experience.
i welcome your sharing of His gifts in your life this week in the comments below.
charis
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